Reasons to Remain Single

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Suffocation, anger and frustration in a relationship or loneliness through remaining single...

I liked the freedom of being single while I was single; though loneliness did kick in sometimes.

All in all, in retrospect, I would have opted for staying single until I met a woman with whom I feel compatible.

I don't need a man in my life to be happy or complete and when women act like we do it makes me cringe. I hate how society in this day and age treats single adult women like unpleasant, unattractive spinsters like Patty and Selma on The Simpsons. I even read the other day that women in China who aren't married by age 27 are called "leftovers", as if we're like a bowl of potato salad that no one wants to touch but not want to throw out either, so you sit there tucked away in the back of the fridge until you're hosting enough bacteria to poison a small town.

Well being single is not the same as being non-lonely.

Too often the people who push the 'being single is great! You get to be free and independent!' concept usually still have a decent number of strong friendships who they can spend time with and good family.

Also, the people who enjoy being single typically tend to enjoy one-night stands, casual sex, Fwbs and escorts more.

Otherwise, if you have no friends, your family barely care about you, and do not find pleasure in casual one-time sex; sharing your life with someone who can love and support and care for you just as much as you can for them, may be in the long-run far better for your mental state and health than going about life completely solo.

Who's going to be there for you in your time of need?

So many people I meet who enjoy their 'alone' time and 'solitude' usually have enough of a social life to the point they can switch back-and-forth at will - they don't know what it's REALLY like to be alone and not by choice.

Otherwise, for much of us in this world, I still see it as realistic most of us here are extremely alone.

Every criticism he had I'd be willing to overlook.

You could say friendships are just as simple, shallow and meaningless on the outside, but would you really want to live a life without any?

It's called flaws.

If you can deal with the flaws of others and the flaws your friendships and relationships will give you, in the end the benefits outweigh the doubts.

This video also strongly implies the person entering does not feel ready for one and is not interested in one and prefers being single, and does not say anything on the perspective of those who actually want a happy relationship very badly and do feel ready (but are not desperate).

TL;DR: Being single is great, if you have many friends and family by your side. Otherwise, love may just do you some good, rather than going about life completely solo. The benefits of a relationship or friendship outweight the doubts.

Ahhh, to be a pessimist. Perhaps the only good thing I can find about being single - you can be as negative, depressed and glum as you want without it negatively affecting your life.

I don't think people should be pressured to be in relationships if they don't want to. However I have experienced loneliness whilst single...but I've been in a relationship for over six months now and I am not feeling the suffocation, anger or frustration. I think I prefer not being single, though I've had relationships where I can say being single would have been preferable.

the reasons for me to remain single are-
*I am an mostly incurable slob- I can become superficially non-slobbish but it is a major strain.
*I have odd hours that most other people don't have.
*I prefer being in my birthday suit.
*I like my music LOUD and BASS-HEAVY.
*I like driving fast, and don't really like side-seat drivers that much.
*I like it colder [thermostat setting] than most people like.
*I'm somewhat impervious to what others are feeling, unless they explicitly tell me what they are feeling.
*various other reasons too numerous to detail here.

^Being single is better than a bad relationship, they say.

My addition:

Being single is better than being in a bad relationship, but being in a good relationship is the best of all three.

My good reasons for being single:

- Ridiculous amount of free time. But too much of a good thing is a bad thing (too much time alone, always bored because I have nothing to do but time-waste, etc.).

- Can go wherever I want to! Except, I have agoraphobia, and want to overcome it by getting out of the house more, but can only do so if I actually have reasons to leave the house, which I do not. Hanging out with friends or going out on dates with a girlfriend would give me any reason to actually go downtown.

- Extra money (okay, I have no negative counter to this. This is actually a good thing.

- 'Freedom', whatever the heck that is. I understand maybe when you're 30 it's funner to be traveling the world than having to 'settle down' with the wife and kids, but this doesn't apply to me as I'm young. My girlfriend would be just as much wanting to go out and explore the world and such as I am. Which brings me to my next opoint.

- Sexual freedom, e.g. can have as much casual sex, fwbs and escorts as much as I want...if I was actually interested in that stuff, which I am not, as I want an LTR.

- Self-reliance, independence, self-efficiency...that should exist whether you are single or in a relationship regardless. Not every relationship is co-dependent and plenty of two self-reliant, independent types can date one another.

- More time for 'friends'. Bahahahaha. If they actually lived close to me (closest one is about 4 hours away).

- More time for 'family'. If they weren't parasitic bastards who just made my mother cry today. If they were actually good people instead of negative and mentally unhealthy addicts.

- More time for myself, and more time to self-reflect and really 'discover' myself - see above for how well that goes. I know everything about myself, as I've had so much time alone it's been the only thing I can do to pass the time. I know my likes and dislikes, my strengths and weaknesses, etc. There's probably a lot I still have to learn about myself, but I can only learn more about myself through new experiences and ideas, something I can't do right now unless I have a social life to encourage me. Don't ever tell ME to learn to 'know and love' myself, my self-esteem and confidence are currently maxed out, I know myself like a book, and ready to share this person that I am with the world.

- It can be 'hard' to maintain a social life and keep seeing your friends and relationships.

I, however, am not one of the less-social aspies, and am not an introvert, I am an ambivert who thrives social interaction and craves it like a drug, it does not actually wear me out that easily at all and I've got plenty of energy and positivity to give.

Such wasted potential. I could be making someone's day right now, I could be spending time with someone who feels just as lonely as I do and we both make each other happy, I could be encouraging someone to leave their comfort zone and discover new ideas and experiences. I could be contributing to society right now, but I'm not.

- It gives you more time to focus on your work/studies. I am close to being on disability, and not interested in university at the moment, so 'more' free time is NOT the answer right now as it leaves me feeling unproductive. and I already volunteer 1-2 days a week at this place. I'm already part of a social group for people with disabilities and have a lot of fun with them 1-2 days a week, but they're all significantly older. It has helped my general well-being though and given me something to look forward to.

- being single helps you learn to be happy on your own. BAHAHAHAHAHA I've failed at that, and yeah, I'm trying. I spend a great deal of time on my hobbies and interests, I'm doing all I can to meet new people, I volunteer twice a wee, I mediate and use aromatherapy and a variety of other stress-relief and depression relief techniques, I get the ideal amount of sleep per night, I care significantly about my health and fitness and eat healthy and exercise. I usually feel GREAT most of the time. Loneliness and anxiety in certain situations are THE only currently existing problems i have, and aggression in times of stress, but I've started to get that under control.

Last edited by Outrider on 20 Apr 2016, 3:12 am, edited 1 time in total.

to most of us here, that is in the same high good fortune bracket, as winning the lotto.

FREEEEEEEEEDOM!! !!1

Not only do I lack the attention span for dating (I can think of several other things I'd rather do with my time), I'm no longer willing to compromise what I'd be looking for in a potential S.O.; to many bad relationships (not always bad, but when things were bad, good grief!) Mind you, that being said I still haven't figured out how exactly I wound up in the relationships I've had; they just seemed to happen, lol...

The first point is a fallacy.
Old literature texts and poems like Shakespeare writings prove that 'romantic love with one person forever' is a much much older concept than 50 years.

It also comes to my mind ancient arab poets like Jamil Buthayna, who lived in 700 era, he adopted Buthayna as his second name because it's the name of his forbidden love.

There were also the so called 'Majnun'(=insane) and Layla, two bedouin poets back in the 5th century, their love became a classic story





ie it is said that he died at her graveyard.

Last edited by The_Face_of_Boo on 20 Apr 2016, 5:29 am, edited 4 times in total.

Because I am a chicken bak bak bakeek.

When I was single, I sometimes had quite a bit of fun with myself.

"Because I am a chicken bak bak bakeek."



Maybe I've never been in a relationship long enough to see the drawbacks - I guess that's a positive.

But I'd rather know what a harsh reality is like than continue to have some fantasy of what an LTR may be like.

Both of my relationships were quite short and didn't go beyond the 'honeymoon, can't get enough of each other' stage.

The commentary suggests the more romantic person should never settle for an unsuitable SO just to ease loneliness as they are more likely to experience anger frustration etc in that relationship. Also that relationships are best suited to those with very basic expectations.

All this poetry seems to be an indication that you are indeed a romantic chicken at heart FoB, and outrider has joined in, perhaps the chickens are restless

^^ Love makes me feel like this.

To take on someone else's flaws is the real trick.
Learning to accept things that I have vanquished from my life has been one of the biggest challenges of marriage. On the other hand, a relationship helps me identify my own flaws and I painfully become a better person in the long run.

This is beautiful.

The best reason to remain single:
It is easier