I think black and white thinking is a spectrum itself because it means so many different things.
The law is no one should cross the street at a non cross walk and they only should when there is a red light or where the cars stop depending on the location. Someone who is black and white may refuse to cross the street any time and will only cross it at a crosswalk. Even if there is a green light and there are no cars, they still, refuse to cross unless the light is red because the rule is you can only cross where there is a red light or when traffic stops at a crosswalk.
Another example is a black and whiter thinker refuses to bring in outside drinks and food into a cinema because they feel it's dishonest and wrong because they are not buying their food but instead bringing their own they have bought elsewhere. My ex was like this and I grew up sneaking in outside candy and drinks into movies so I never saw it as wrong. They are still getting their money when we buy their tickets.
A mother who is desperate is caught stealing $300 worth of groceries so she could feed her kids. Lot of people think the mom should go to jail for doing the crime and they don't care about what situation she was in like if her husband got sick and lost his job and now they are on hard times and are still waiting for foodstamps and have used up their savings. So it was either have the kids go hungry and not eat for a week or go steal. That is an example of black and white thinking right there. They are stuck on the law than on tough times the mom had hit so she did something she is very unlikely to do in general and think she is a bad person and a criminal just for stealing food than electronics or movies or games or robbing homes to get items to pawn off. But I am sure the argument could turn to she could have pawned off her own things for money to get food. But that is what a black and white thinker would think too what the mom should have done for food.
B&W thinking is more common in politics and religion. People have very strong beliefs and things get very emotional when someone has a different view. Someone who thinks in black and white might not understand another perspective or get there are different perspectives, if something goes wrong, they think the whole day is ruined and the event, if they mess up, they think the whole thing is ruined. The grocery store thing might be an example of politics because I often see debates and hated arguments, same thing goes for parenting topics too so I think B&W thinking is more common in it too. If you formula feed, you're a bad mother or if you are a working mother, you're horrible for not staying home with the kids or if you use daycare, you're horrible for having some random stranger babysit your kids or you're lazy for dumping your kids off with a random stranger just so you wouldn't have to parent, if you home school you're a bad mother for holding your kid back and depriving the from social development. If you do cry it out on your baby, you're horrible and how would you like it if someone just ignored you if you were scared or upset? So you see B&W thinkers also don't seem to realize everyone has their own story so one person's situation might not be the same as yours. Yes homeschooling might not work for your child but it might work for another child. Special ed classrooms might not work for a special needs child but might work for another child, same as for group therapies for social skills training. B&W thinking is also when someone thinks a situation is the same for everyone and thinks something is one size that fits all approach instead of realizing it depends on the child. I used to think that any parent that lets their kid keep candy they took from the store after taking them back to pay for it, they were being bad parents because then the kid just learns it's okay to do it and all they have to do is steal to get it because their mom will let them keep it. No it depends on the child. For me that wouldn't have worked but for another kid it would because they would be so embarrassed about it and going back to the store and having everyone see what they had done so that would have been a good enough punishment for them stealing wouldn't even be worth it but me I never got embarrassed for my actions or had remorse so I would have done it again so not letting me keep it would have been the punishment. But if I saw my little brother do it and he kept it while mine was taken, I would have been confused there and see injustice so that would be an example of B&W thinking there because of fairness I want. I wouldn't have understood the not one size fits all approach and understand why my brother could keep the candy he took and why mine was thrown out so my mother would have had to take his candy away too if that happened to avoid an argument and confusion.
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Son: Diagnosed w/anxiety and ADHD. Also academic delayed.
Daughter: NT, no diagnoses.
14 Jun 2016, 11:49 am
