Can't stop feeling empty without a girlfriend

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If it makes you feel any better, I dress quite neutrally. Solid colour polo shirt (more comfortable than t-shirts). Solid black cargo pants (comfortable, and I like the big pockets for carrying stuff), a solid-colour hooded jacket (for keeping warm) plain black boots, non-styled hair, no glasses, no jewelry, a simple watch for telling the time. The whole setup is for comfort and practicality. No logos, no patterns, no nonsense. The only styling I do is making sure the colours don't clash.

I'm probably going to die alone though while those people with stereotyped clothing styles seem to have no issues in that regards, so there's that to consider.

You are still REALLY young. I'm NT and all through high school I never felt I truly belonged. Sure I fit in fine with different people and groups but I didn't really connect on a meaningful level. I guess I've been described as an old soul and whilst I'm interested in a wide number of things, often contradictory of different social norms or sub cultures, the interests that fulfill and sustain me are narrow. Uni was actually life changing for me. I met a lot of mature-aged students there who I naturally gravitated towards and they were much more open-minded, accepting and diverse. Because they did the same courses as me there was already a shared interest. Whilst there are still days where I feel odd and out of place for the most part I have found my home with a select number of friends.

I don't think it matters if you are AS or NT, it can be hard to feel you fit in and find your niche sometimes. And even the people you look at who appear to fit in easily - you never really know if that's truly the case, or if they too are just pretending. I think people do what they have to to survive, especially through high school. Although, some may just not be enlightened enough to feel any amount of "oddness".

I just think it is early days for you. And also for OP. You are both younger than me, that's for sure. And again, I'm NT.

I live in the Central Texas Bible Belt region. Outside of Austin and some of the other big cities, the whole area is a mess. You have roadkill as well as trash everywhere and the air stinks in a lot of places due to constant car use as well as constant drinking and smoking. Despite the people here claiming they have "family values" and "Christian morals", domestic violence, infidelity, and children born out of wedlock are a common sight here. It's also not against these people's faiths to indulge in vices since they justify it by saying "God will forgive me!" but you better not be of the LGBT community or practice another belief system or you will go straight to Hell. It's a very mentally unstable culture here.

Funnily enough, I have an Australian friend who lives about four hours from me. She came here due to getting involved with an American man and had a kid with him but they split up and she plans on moving back to Australia once her daughter is 18 so they can escape the religious idiocy of this area.

Ahhh don't you love when people claim to be Christian yet have some of the most judgmental approaches to humanity?

Naww, we ar gud Gawd feerin' fulks an' y'all ar uh bunch of commie luvin' libruhls wit ur fancy big wurds, book learnin', an' cumpewter jawbs!

(Wow, that actually hurt my head typing that out!)

But yeah, people like that put a bad taste in my mouth in regards to Christianity. It's especially rampant here in the Bible Belt. The people here actually think atheism is synonymous with Satanism. They also think Hindus are "muzlums" and they are taking over. It's ok for them to judge others but if anyone stands up to them, they'll respond with something like "How dare you say that about my faith!" or "Why don't you get out of my country?!?"

I grew up being told God had a plan for me and that I would meet a girl in college. When the depression kicked in, it shattered my faith in God and the girls in the community college I went to were no different than the ones in high school. They just ignored me and never made the first move, still waiting for the "bad boys" to sweep them off their feet.

That hurt my head reading it! I grew up in a "Christian" household, if by Christian you mean abusive

Why do girls like "bad boys"? It's like they are setting themselves up to fail.

I still don't understand it and it's odd because I was told I needed to be a gentleman if I wanted a girlfriend. Even when I was told to be myself, it didn't work out. It was always the guys treating the girls poorly who had girlfriends. I remember them physically hazing girls in public spaces but while the girls would scream and shout, they would never try to get away from the jerks.

Ridiculous.

I've just left an abusive relationship myself and I have gotta say, there's no way I would stand for it. I mean, I'm a very tolerant person, but if a person has no insight into their behaviour or the impact it has on others, and thus has no interest in improving himself, then I won't waste my time.

Unless you live in a really, really weird place, broaden your observational focus, and you'll see couple after couple where they guy is just an average schmoe. Not a jerk, not exactly mr nice, but pretty much alright.

There are far more non-jerks with girlfriends than there are jerks. Again, unless you live in a really, really weird place, which could well be the case.

...

Right, I just read back a bit further on your posts, and yeah, that's a f****d up place. My sympathies. Are you able to move? Come to north Wales. It's not terrible.

Pretty much the male mindset in the Bible Belt. You better suppress your emotions since crying or being sad makes you a "p****", pump iron until your muscles burst, disregard any knowlede that isn't "da bibuhl" or "amurikan", live in a "man cave" (Sounds like the title of a gay porno ), eat only disgustingly fattening foods, drive like a maniac, listen to only pop country or "Fort Hood Metal", get in arguments over petty things, and punch others in the face instead of settling things peacefully. You also have to fit a certain mold to get women. You can't be skinny or fat unless you want to settle with a gross redneck woman, you better have a car, you better not live at home, you better have a high paying job, and you better be a "good Christian man" even if you hardly go to church.



Not in the cards for me.

Looks like every ex-British colony country has its own equivalent of the Bible Belt.

It almost seems like any girl who looks really attractive already has a boyfriend. I remember once asking a pretty girl if I could have her number and she told me her boyfriend wouldn't like that. That's another thing I struggle with. I never know if a girl's single or not.

Single or not or age appropriate. It seems like every time I'm interested in a woman, she's in a relationship or 15+ years younger than I am.

ya, thats why there are times i have wished the human mating dance is like how other animals do it

ya it's been eating me up inside for a while

Is it possible that what you saw as hazing was actually mutual joking/teasing/sarcasm/fun?

Perhaps what you see as jerkiness was perceived by specific girls as a sense of humor (that clearly does not align with yours)?

If the girls were screaming and shouting to get away from abusive men in public, surely someone would have called the police.