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Sanctus
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17 Aug 2016, 8:59 am

Hi everybody,

I'm going through a (rather mild) phase of depression again. I am also experiencing something I think might be Derealisation but I'm not sure. Maybe someone with experience can give their impression?

It's hard to describe but basically it feels like something is off. Like this isn't really my life. Like something important changed. I've had it before and it used to be stronger once too. It was for about 2-3 days after I had some heartache, and it was really strong then, like I was in a completely different universe or something. Everything that was normally familiar to me seemed wrong and just, off. Additionally, at the moment I feel somewhat like I am floating, or perhaps on water. A mild, weird bodily sensation.

I am already in the process of trying to get therapy. I just wonder if someone can confirm that this is what derealisation feels like.


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dossa
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17 Aug 2016, 9:42 am

Granted, I cannot really confirm what you have going on, but... I do have a dissociative disorder. I get bouts of derealization/depersonalization with it. Not so fun. I know for myself I do get to feeling kinda floaty/fuzzy. Mostly I liken it to walking through saline solution. Sometimes I liken it to feeling sparkly or staticy. Other times more like just floating a few inches back in my head. I also get the sense of familiar things seeming unfamiliar... that weird moment where you look around your living room and it's as though you are seeing it for the first time ever. It's not great.

I'm not sure how depression plays into this kind of thing, but it makes sense that it could happen. Stress is what sets me off down this path, and ultimately it is a form of internal upset like depression is. I am glad to hear you have plans to speak with someone about this and I hope it passes for you sooner than later.


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shlaifu
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19 Aug 2016, 9:23 am

Yup, sounds like derealization. Not unlike a deja vu. The feeling that something is very off, and a certain numbing of the senses.
And yup, it goes along with depression.
(And nicotine withdrawal).

Sorry to hear it's hapoening to you as well


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racheypie666
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30 Aug 2016, 5:54 pm

Sounds like it to me. I've been having this for the past week or so actually, it's horrible. I have HFA and depression, and at the moment I have a constant feeling that something is, as you say, off. Actually my brain just keeps thinking 'I'm not a real person', and whilst I don't know what that means, it somehow seems to sum up exactly how I feel. It's accompanied with a sense of detachment from my surroundings, and a heavy/tight/hollow feeling in my chest.

I have actually had a couple of brief psychotic episodes to do with derealisation. One time I was in art class at college, doing self-portraiture, and I literally couldn't see my own reflection. I just picked up my stuff and walked out, as calmly as I could; it was horrible. This week I had another: I was walking down my road and all the trees and foliage seemed to go 2d, like in a simulation game where the plants are 2d and they just move with the camera. I felt like all the world was folding in on me, and maybe I was 2d too, and, like I said, somehow not real. I've never told anyone about my psychotic episodes because I don't have anyone to talk to. I just sort of walk them off and internalise them.

If you do have someone to talk to (a doctor even) I would. Derealisation is a very strange and uncomfortable feeling and it can lead into other things (like my episodes above). Even without that though, it's not nice, and I'm sorry you're going through it :( . Definitely a link to depression, I would say.



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02 Sep 2016, 3:50 pm

I've experienced kind of both positive and negative derealization, latter was due to stress but somehow vanished as soon as even more stress was piled up (which is when I temporarily turned to alcohol), and an NMDA antagonist was positive because it's more of a meditative experience than a zombie sort of feeling.



andromeda292
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12 Oct 2016, 12:05 am

I think I've experienced this before.
Is it sort of like waving your hand around and thinking to yourself "Holy crap! My hand is moving! How am I moving?!"
And then getting absolutely terrified for a short amount of time, almost like you're being sucked out of your body and you're watching yourself being controlled by some outside force?
I've experienced that, but I don't know if it's the same as Derealisation or not...



Sanctus
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12 Oct 2016, 5:11 am

That sounds to me like it would be Depersonalisation, small difference though. In Derealisation it's more that your surroundings seem weird and unreal, in Depersonalisation it's yourself that feels wrong.

I told my therapist about these sensations yesterday btw and she didn't really say much but made notes like crazy. Hope this will help to get my therapy approved lol


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Goardon
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01 Dec 2016, 10:59 pm

SOLIPSISM?
or paranoia?