Looks like autism, but isn't?

Post Reply New Topic

This might be a strange question, but I'm really stumped on this. Is it possible that my psychologist misdiagnosed me as autistic? I don't fit in with this autistic community any more than I do among NT's. Is it possible that despite having some of the autistic traits that I am in fact something completely different? It doesn't make sense to me that I could be autistic and yet so out of place among other autistics.

I have tons of autistic traits but really don't fit in either.
I'm 5' 2" with a weight of 107 lbs.
I have a job, house, and an investment portfolio.

It is possible you were misdiagnosed and it is possible to be correctly disgnosed and not get along with other autistics.

If possible the thing to do is to talk with the person who diagnosed you and find out why hercus she did it.

This forum isn't exactly full of people who are easy to get along with. I hope you are judging based on broader experience than just wrongplanet. But yes, of course its possible to misdiagnose someone. It happens all the time. Autism is a "soft" diagnosis. That means there is no definitive test. Its really about the opinion of the evaluater.

Having ASD doesn't necessarily mean you'll get on well with other individuals who happen to have ASD. I've known some ASDers who I wouldn't really want as buddies. ASD isn't a personality thing.

It is probably fair to say that many of us put most of our mental energy, into niche interests, but are ret*d in other departments, like the saying about idiot savants, or not being able to walk and chew gum, at the same time.

It is possible to put so much mental energy, into one particular topic, that you can be at the physical breaking point, to get high public honors, and look handicapped to passive bystanders.

If you could be blunt, in what respect do you resemble the diagnosis, and what respect do you resent it? Are you just having a problem with being stigmatized? Maybe, you belong in the Guinness Book, for some obscure skill set.

i believe that the whole "autistic community" thing is either metaphorical (not an actual community in any real-world sense, just an expression meaning "all the autistic people out there") or pure fantasy. it wouldn't make sense to expect two people with ocd to get along with each other any better than with other people, and i think the same goes for autism

because it's not like there's a shared language or culture or anything, and i don't think there could be, because autistic people come from all types of backgrounds, and each one has specific interests and troubles and struggles. there's enough common ground for thematic discussion, but not enough common ground for personal connection. if it happens, it's either independent from autism or despite autism (it's largely an impairment in communication and human connection, after all. and stubbornness)

i don't particularly relate much to many people here (just like anywhere else). the main reasons why i post here are 1. because there have been topics that interest me so far, and 2. because i can be open about certain things that i would need to keep to myself elsewhere. that's pretty much it. and while i'm at it, i try to learn how to ignore and filter out things that bore me or bother me, which i think is a good skill to have in life in general. and there surely is plenty of opportunity to practice this skill on this website

i approach the whole forum thing as a continuous "lab experiment" for socialization. i'm always observing people's reactions (mine included) and making little adjustments to see how things change

If I were you, I wouldn't take not fitting in on WP as a sign that you must have been misdiagnosed with autism! have you ever been on any internet community who all got along -- even a bunch of neurotypicals?

So firstly, I don't think any internet gathering of people gets along 100%, or that everyone feels they fit there perfectly -- the best anyone usually does on any forum community is to maybe find a few people you do gel with, try to overlook the people you don't, get some information, give some information, share some laughs, and yes some of us wind up arguing but that's the same as any place on the internet. It's not great but it happens.

This place is no different in terms of people not getting along or getting along as any other.

Also, not that it's an excuse, but communication mess-ups, misunderstanding someone's meaning and intention, negativity, and having easily discombobulated emotions or stress levels are all part of what can come with autism, to many with it. That stuff is inevitably going to happen on a place like WP maybe even more than an NT community.

Third thing is, there's a saying "If you've met one person with autism, you've.....met ONE person with autism."

The traits and symptoms aren't all experienced by absolutely all people diagnosed. Aside from the various levels of functioning, there are people who rarely get emotional, and others who do. There are people seemingly coping with flying colors, with lives and families and careers, while others are struggling to stay on top of less. There are positive ASD people who have found workarounds and almost eliminate whatever issues they have, some with help, others by themselves. There are people who can't be as positive because things have been harder. There are people with almost no sensory issues that impact anything, and people who are driven to distraction by what their senses do to them, and have to adapt accordingly.

There's such a wide range of people under this umbrella term of autism that obviously any one person is going to feel like there's more here they can't relate to at times, than they can relate to. Everyone's different even on this spectrum.

If you're doubting your diagnosis, it's best to discuss that with your diagnostician, but don't think that feeling like you don't fit in with people here is an indication of anything. There is such a wide range of personalities let alone severity or suffering from traits.

Here's a "Yes, but" to add to your conversation about whether there is such a thing as an autistic community.

In the strictest sense, there is no such thing as autistic culture. We don't meet the criteria of having our own language (except for the word NT) or our own food, etc... For an example of a disability group that does have culture, look to the Deaf community. They have these things.

But from a broader point of view, there are aspects of us that make us metaphorically in the same big "family" and there is a culture of sorts.

I say this as someone who works with people who have all sorts of disabilities. When you get a group of people with Down syndrome together, for example, you can anticipate a certain kind of atmosphere. Guaranteed there will be a lot of hugging and talking about boyfriends. When you get together people who use wheelchairs, same thing, there are common themes that run that have nothing to do with their disability. Wheelchair users, in my experience, tend to have a bit of a worldly, its a tough life but I know how to get by, kind of a posture, in my experience. They also tend towards more self depreciating jokes.

Autistics are the same. There are some things that one can loosely identify as autistic culture. You'll find a lot of games with complex rules when we get together. It is generally more acceptable for someone to go off into the corner a be alone for a minute. (Try that in a room full of Down syndrome folks. Ain't gonna happen!) Someone is going to bring up Star Trek if you stay long enough. There will be more skeptism and intellectualizing going on - even with autistics that are called lower functioning, you will find they need things explained and they are not as likely to just jump in. We tend to be more thoughtful. We aren't just quirky, we value being the one to see things in a different way. There's a difference. Of course, I'm talking in broad strokes. Not every individual is going to fit in this. Its just what you are generally going to find when autistics gather in the real world.

This is all too complicated. Nothing has made sense ever since that psychologist diagnosed me. If an autistic haven fills me with nothing but resentment, then how can I possibly be one of you? There would have to be a connection on some level but there isn't.

Someone already brought up things I was curious about... what is it that you have going on that resembles autism and what it is about this place that fills you with resentment.

As far as traits go, it is possible to misdiagnosed people. I have had that happen to me before with a careless psychologist or two on more than one occasion. So yeah, it happens. I tend to be all for talking to other professionals if you question the validity of your diagnosis if you have the ability to do so... if finances, transportation, whatever is not a problem. Really, if you have the ability, there seems little harm in doing so if it can provide you with information, insight, accuracy... sounds like a win win kind of arrangement if you are having serious doubts.

That said, I am not sure what the doubts are. If it is just not finding this place to be something you enjoy... well.. that does not knock you out of meeting the criteria for autism. I agree with what has been said about people not always getting along on internet communities.It happens, and likely more often here than other places. We are not the most socially gifted bunch of folks you will ever meet.

I am also curious, do you have someone such as a therapist that you speak with presently? You mention how nothing makes sense post diagnosis. Were you recently diagnosed? I can only speak for myself, but I found it immensely helpful for awhile there to have a therapist I could speak with. She knew her stuff and proved to be beneficial for autism related things. Whatever it is that you do or do not have going on, I do wish you well in it.

Spending too much time in the Love and Dating forum can certainly inspire resentment--it is generally frequented by those that are out of relationships, versus those that are really into relationships and having a really good time with a significant other. Very few on the spectrum can cultivate a relationship and have time for this forum--so folks having success disappear or don't appear at all on this site. It doesn't help that assistance programs for autism and mental health issues often go away when you turn 18 in the USA.

I don't feel like I fit in here. I joined about four years ago, and tend to drop in for a few weeks or months every now and then.

It was an eye-opener at first, but I soon understood the folly of thinking I would fit in. While there is some overlap in experience of problems which may produce a certain recognition and solidarity, people are still people and this remains an 'open to all' forum, albeit within the bounds of neurodiversity.

I would ask: does thinking of yourself as autistic, through diagnostic literature and the experiences and anecodtes of others, help you? Is it useful to you? Does it help you make sense of yourself, your life, and how you experience the world?