Why I can't find a someone
I have been grilled non-stop by my friends about why I'm still single. At the time, I couldn't really tell them why because I never really thought about it. I'm 23 going on 24, in 3 months, I've been single since I graduated high school in 2011, and I've had a lot of introspective time to myself. Why can't I get a girl?
Horrible temper
Odd mannerisms
Tendency to express a lack of interest
Tendency to withhold forgiveness
Lack of ambition
There's a few I haven't mentioned(can't really think, wanna go home, that sorta thing). But why now share your reasoning?
You've got a good list there of things about yourself that you can work on to improve, that's a start.
How about picking one of the items from the list, like "horrible temper"?
You can work on things like patience, waiting, controlling anger, seeing and caring about how the other person feels, even doing a random act of kindness for someone.
RetroGamer87
Veteran
Joined: 30 Jul 2013
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 10,970
Location: Adelaide, Australia
But then again I also enjoy hanging out with people with whom I have common interests. But my main motivation for dating is so other other won't think I'm less of a man. It all started a few years ago when my illegitimate half-brother teased me about being a virgin. He can't call me that any more! Ha! Take that brother!
Odd mannerisms
Tendency to express a lack of interest
Tendency to withhold forgiveness
Lack of ambition
Also remember that like us all, you are who you choose to be. So if you choose to be even tempered, forgiving and ambitious, than that's who you will be.
Like Professor Dumbledore said at the end of Chamber of Secrets, it is our choices that define us.
I certainly wouldn't.
_________________
The days are long, but the years are short
Horrible temper
Odd mannerisms
Tendency to express a lack of interest
Tendency to withhold forgiveness
Lack of ambition
There's a few I haven't mentioned(can't really think, wanna go home, that sorta thing). But why now share your reasoning?
Let's call a horrible temper what it really is. Emotionality combined with difficulty communicating. This can definitely be addressed with a therapist, and should, because a bad temper is the hardest on those who have it, and a good therapist can help you learn how to better navigate the world when things upset you, and also how to use your emotionality in a positive way.
It sucks that guys say stuff like this to other guys. I'm grateful I'm a girl because I've only had my brother teasingly call me a virgin once (and he apologised really awkwardly lol), otherwise nobody says anything. I don't advertise the fact to anyone, but anyone who really knows me would peg me for asexual. It's nobody else's business if you prefer to be alone, but most guys have this high-school attitude towards virginity. My sympathies, man, I hate people getting involved in my personal affairs .
Do you want a girlfriend, independent of what your friends think? Otherwise it's cool just having friends, I wish I had some.
Odd mannerisms
Tendency to express a lack of interest
Tendency to withhold forgiveness
Lack of ambition
I'm sure you have some positive and attractive traits too, but at least by recognising some negatives to your personality you can maybe start to work on them. Some of them ("can't really think, wanna go home, that sorta thing") might just be accepted and understood if you find a girlfriend who's understanding of autism (and you shouldn't get one who isn't). I'll tell you this though; my father (who I am 100% sure is on the spectrum), has literally all of the traits you have listed in abundance, and it didn't stop him getting together with my mother. Your character didn't stop you getting friends, so if you want a girlfriend and are willing to put in a little bit of work (and some honesty about why you behave the way you do), it won't stop you from getting that either.
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