Mental health and medical problems interfering with work

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I know I'm not in my 30s (I'm 22), but I live alone and I'm working full time (36 hours a week) while going to school, and I think this forum is the best one for me to get help on this particular issue, since you all have probably had more relevant experience.

First of all, I'm actually very good at my job when I'm not in horrible pain. It's a quota-based job and on a good day I can almost double the quota, and on a bad one I'm still well above it. I've been working there since December 2015, and the bosses say they think highly of me, although they do mention my attendance issues as being the only problem.

My attendance issues are due to endometriosis (basically, if I miss a birth control pill or have a period for whatever reason, I experience horrible pain for the next two to three weeks, although most of the time I can still force myself to go to work) and due to a nausea/vomiting problem that's lasted for about three months (but is getting better) that was a result of my endometriosis--I'd damaged my stomach lining by taking too much Naproxen Sodium, which is a pain medication that's known to cause trouble for the gastrointestinal system, which often already has its own issues for Autistic people!

Having the medical problems has been incredibly stressful, and I already HAVE an anxiety disorder. I also have PTSD from a traumatic event when I was fifteen (and the two and a half years leading up to it) and those symptoms get worse with stress. For several months I've been isolating myself more than I ordinarily do largely because of the PTSD, which makes me have a lot of trouble trusting people, especially when those people are nice to me. I've been struggling with this extreme, more-than-usual anxiety for at least six months now and it keeps coming back with different symptoms, like my throat closing up or me being unable to breathe properly or me waking up in the middle of the night freaking out and crying or feeling like I'm about to be in a fight, and--most recently--cold sweats throughout the day and night. And unfortunately, my job doesn't give me much intellectual stimulation anymore, which results in my brain folding in on itself in a toxic loop of metacognition, which makes the anxiety and PTSD symptoms even worse, although it's not obvious to anyone watching me.

Recently that came to a head today because the past couple days I was unable to get much sleep, but I didn't have to work those days. Today, I was scheduled to work for ten hours, and I'd only gotten four hours of sleep at the most. I ended up deciding to stay and call my counselor because this seems to be some sort of crisis situation (the more stressed I am, the more I have a tendency to understate things) and I have dangerous road rage issues when I'm not even half this anxious, so I didn't want to risk driving yet. This is a relatively new counselor and this is my first time trying to get in touch with a counselor outside of my appointment, so I'll keep you posted.

My mom told me that I may need to look into signing up for disability payments if these problems keep preventing me from getting to work during my scheduled times, because at some point I may lose my job. I fear this, because from what I've heard disability does not give a living wage, and I'm currently paying much of my tuition out of pocket with help from my parents (I lost scholarships because I had to withdraw from school my first year, when I was seventeen) and I'm living alone and cannot ethically and safely live with a roommate (I had one before--I'm not doing that again until I'm much older and know I can handle it, and can trust the person I live with). Living alone is in many ways MUCH better for my mental health, since I can always be alone when I need to and no one can encroach on my private space. I have control over my environment and I don't have to wear clothes, which are very uncomfortable for me. Also, my anxiety level in general is just significantly higher when another person is in the same house or apartment as I am, and if I stopped living alone that would probably mean me living with my mom again (along with my stepdad and nine-year-old brother) and my mom's mental health issues and my mental health issues tend to feed off of each other when this happens and I end up being terrorized and she ends up having even more stress.

Signing up for disability payments also scares me because I have to feel like I'm doing something productive and pushing myself in order to be okay with myself, and I'm worried that if I try freelancing or part time work to help support myself it'll mess with my disability payments, but I won't be able to support myself completely with that. My dad does send me money each month to help support me.

My mom says she's not surprised that I'm having these anxiety issues since I've pushed myself very hard given the issues I have--and she's right, I guess. I worked hard to get to the point where I could live on my own, drive, and work in addition to going to school and teaching myself to draw and animate in my free time (I hate drawing but it's for a cause). I probably do need to change my lifestyle in order to be mentally healthy, and it'll probably be an ongoing decision process that I'll have to work on with my therapist, my parents, and other people who can help give advice.

I may just not be in the best mindset to think about this stuff right now, but since this mindset doesn't seem like it'll be going away any time soon, do you all have any ideas or advice? I'm not exactly sure what to ask for right now, but I may be able to specify more later.

(Edit: To give a sense of the kinds of Autism-related issues I have, I'm a product of early intervention. I "shouldn't" have been able to not live with my parents until I was in my 30s or 40s, if at all, but because of the intervention I received starting when I was a toddler, I've been taught coping mechanisms and social skills that have enabled me to get this far this early when others who weren't as lucky might not have. Executive dysfunction is a big deal for me when I'm stressed, but I do have some coping mechanism for that such as pre-written steps for figuring out how to eat food or do dishes or things like that, and finding someone to come with me for more complex tasks like going to the store if I absolutely need to. Sensory issues are a big problem for me--I've got some pretty hardcore synesthesia and hypersensitive touch, hearing, smell, and sight. I also have OCD traits such as invasive thoughts, and I have sensory distortion that sometimes gets pretty crazy when I'm stressed, like seeing a large wolf with antlers and no face out of the corner of my eye--usually it's just dots and waves and vibrations across my vision and distorted sound when I hear loud sounds. I am extroverted in many ways and love people, but human interaction is draining, especially now that I have these trust problems. I also have difficulty processing generalizations and making assumptions, and I have face blindness and have trouble controlling my tone, in addition to the ordinary "can't understand body language/tone/facial expression/implications" stuff Autistic people usually have, although I can understand most jokes and sarcasm because someone explained irony to me when I was four.)

Is there anyway you can work with your employer to do part time hours instead right now? You would make more money part time than you would with disability benefits. You could use the extra time to do more indvidual and group therapy as well as some stress relieving activies/hobbies like BTDT mentioned.

You could probably benefit from having a prescription for some benzos like ativan or clonazepam to take as needed to help you make it through this crisis until you can get things settled. You said you damaged your stomach with too much naproxen, you should consider taking L-glutamine which is really helpful to repair the tissues in your digestive tract.