I literally want to dig a hole and never leave it.

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I will feel so stupid to post something like this, but I am feeling lonely right now.

I have always wanted to be in a relationship since high school. I'm 19 and a sophomore in college. I'm literally surrounded by couples and I know of people asking each other out. I feel like I'm the only one who has never dated, had her first kiss, nada. I know there's something wrong with me. Besides being autistic, I feel so ugly. I dress very poorly. I have bad social skills, so talking to people is a daily challenge for me. I have a lot of different interests than everyone else, and when I try to describe myself, I feel like a wannabe or someone who is just never going to be good enough.

I also realized that I am attracted to both genders. I have made accounts on several dating websites, and I get no matches. This is frustrating to me. I know my main priority right now is school, but the thought of never being in a relationship is irritating me so much... I want to bang my head repeatedly until I knock myself into a coma. I know I will never find someone who will like me.

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I made this account three years ago and I deeply regret my username

I'm so sorry. Everything seeks to coming in all at once.

I've felt this feeling---many times.

You're better off than me, in a way. I'm only attracted to one gender. You can have double the fun! LOL

You should build a treehouse instead of digging a hole.

Yeah, I feel pretty much the same. Still being single and a virgin at 20 (nearly 21) makes me feel very ashamed of myself, and it seems there's a huge amount of people that will instantly reject people like that; they assume something's wrong with you. I guess that means there is something wrong with me.

I feel so hideous and undesirable.

I can only advise you to be the best you can. If you think your clothes are not fashionable then reevaluate your wardrobe and do some shopping. Don't like your hair?Go to a hairdresser, don't like your figure? Diet and sports.

The first thing that will attract most guys is your outer appearance. Be the best you can be in that department.

Secondly you should force yourself to go to gatherings ( even though you rather avoid all that social stuff). For us women its easier then for man. We don't have to make the first move. If a guy approaches us we can decide whether to accept or reject. We don't have to approach guys and get send walking every time.

I had my first relationship when i was 23. And i know many that had their first in their late 20's or thirty's. Some of us need time to open up and let someone approach them.

So work on the things you feel you can work on as in clothing, hair, make up etc, go to places where people are and let things happen naturally..

And before you know it you will be here telling us about your first romantic quarrel

I once felt exactly the same.

However, I still feel the same.

Only difference is, I am now married.

Go figure.

How can you be married and still feel the same? Aren't you accepted by someone now?

Many times, a non-disabled spouse might be scornful of a disabled spouse.

That's sad.

Then why stay?

Better to be alone then with someone that rejects me on a daily basis? That would be terror!

You don't have to be alone to be lonely.

My mind does not strictly adhere to the criterion of culture. Thus being married has no bearing on how i feel. I will always want someone else to love me.

You could try to meet other Aspies on this forum. I met my 2nd & current girlfriend on here but I was extremely lucky. I think there's lots of Aspie guys on here who would love to be in a relationship with another Aspie. Finding someone in your area may be problematic thou if your not willing to do the long-distance thing.

Could we see your profile?

I doubt your not good enough. I'm not good enough so I should know
Women inheritely have more worth then men. You also sound like your going somewhere in life with college and such
Congrats

Idk. Some holes are quite comfortable. Like Hobbit holes. When I was small I found making a fort out of a big empty box comforting.

i am sad that the OP is discouraged and despairing. I hope OP can understand that with people like us, it is a numbers game. there simply aren't too many other folks out there that match up with us. so we either have to be more patient, or learn to do without.