Getting "control" over Obsessions to function

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I am going to attempt to stay coherent here,not my forte'........


At 26 I learned about "addictions" and stopped drinking.I then found that many of my "interests" took up a great deal of my time and energy and thought that it was just my "addictive personality"as my therepist convinced me.


The poplular belief was that addiction included anything that destracted you from doing what needs to be done thusly causing problems in your life.Now,usually I dont put much faith in "popular" belief,but I was trying to be "higher functioning" and willing to make major changes to avoid stressers(not going to appt,not paying bills on time,rushing to work).....So,I decided to try and apply the principles of AA to my obsessions.But,just like the problem foodaholics face.....it's not something you can avoid all together,like you can by not going into bars,parties,places where people are drinking.

So,my main interests were.....reading both fiction and faction(to learn about an interest),spending hours dumpster diving or hunting for rocks in the little islands of parking lots,biking,making "art" projects.None of them are destructive in and of themselves and are positive ways to spend my "free-time"....the problem is being able to stop.

The latest and most time sucking has been WP.And I know it is for many who visit here...but like the "Hotel California" cant seem to leave.I dont want to leave,I want to control my time here.I set a 2 hour limit for myself and am now on hour 5.I am getting off after I make this post...at least until I get some cleaning done(which I hate).

Some of my interests I have just stopped doing only to get hooked on something else...I try and not even pick up a book unless I have the time to finish it....if I start...thats all she wrote,I'm a goner.My crafts are stuffed in a drawer faintly calling my name.
I resist.

I know a part of this is an avoidance of things I find very frustrating,overwhelming..like making and keeping DRs appts,lloking for a new job,cleaning the aprtment(I hate to get rid of anything but have run out of places to put things in an organized way...which is the only way I can find them when I need something....so I end up buying something I already have because I dont know where it is....aaarrgg.

ANyone else having difficulty with keeping interests in "mederation" without having to give them up.I appear to have n self restrant,is this AS or addictive personality?

I don't know what you'd call it, but I have exactly the same problem. For me it was pot, not alcohol, and it's video games, not crafts. I don't think I have an addictive personality though. There are lots and lots of addictive things that I've tried but just wasn't that interested in.

I don't know how to get away from the obsessions. I really just don't know. If you figure it out, please tell me. I'm lost and struggling too, drowning in my own interests.

If I could figure it out I wouldnt be Here to tell you..... ,just kidding I would sneak back on and let you know

mean while...here I am....still not cleaning...hohum

I have trouble focusing on anything outside of my obsessions. I want to be able to indulge in my obsessions, but also finish the things I need to do but don't want to do. I would suggest taking one or two days to organize your house and just getting it done with. I would make a schedule of everyday with the things you don't want to do at the beginning of the day in order of importance. That way you can get everything you need to do done and then enjoy the rest of your day absorbing yourself in your interests. Set a definite time for meals and bedtime as well. As for apointments, I would suggest setting two alarms, one ten minutes before you need to get ready to go, and the other when you do need to get ready. Then try to wrap up what you're doing in those last ten minutes, so you are not so caught up in something by the time you have to leave. Also, when you have to go somewhere, set out the things you will need to take with you the night before. Plan everything ahead and set out specific times for things each day. And last but not least, stick to the schedule!

Last edited by ChrissandraChrissamba on 09 May 2007, 1:31 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Addictions and obsessions are two different things.

I don't have an addictive personality at all. But I can obsess about things. Or people.

I got really bad once... and discovered that anti-depressants helped.

I have found anti-depressants(effexor and Zoloft)do not help motivate me because they decrease my anxiety....I swear anxiety and fear of negative consequences are the ONLY thing that will break me away from my interests(lots of cramming and last minute paper writting in college)I seem to go from catatonia to overdrive and have no "settings" in between.

I have the same problem. I tried antidepressants and everything just got much much worse. I am motivated by two things: 1. Obsession, and 2. Intense anxiety.

I'm on Zoloft and I can't even feel a difference. Now I'm on medication for ADHD, but it hasn't had a chancce to work yet.

I was on 200mg of Zoloft and beside the 30 pds I gained It turned me into a zombie.I really had no feelings.No outrage,no joy....the scaary part was I didnt realize it until after I weened myself off(lost medical insurence and couldnt afford it)I lost the 30 pds and regained my anxiety,depression and rages.

The Effexor just keeps me from throwing things and crying all the time but at least I still have feelings on it.(75mg)I still have the urge to throw things but not the overwhelmong compulssion to do so.I dont feel depressed any more but I think that is situational...knowing about AS and being in a supportive relationship(and avoiding social events as much as possible)

I agree - obsessions are different from addictions. And this is brain-related - AS and OCD are definitely part of the neuroanatomy.

Our choices are to accept it, fight it, and/or use medications.

Re meds, I've heard anafranil is good for OCD stuff. I also will reiterate something I've been saying - try taking a LOW dose of whatever you're on. I'd like to do a research study on meds and aspies, as I've noticed others also say they do better on lower doses. I'm on Prozac 10mg, which is a really low dose, but it's wonderful - no side effects, and no suicidality! I feel pretty good. I'm also on Chantix for quitting smoking, which has helped my depression - in fact I feel better than I can honestly remember. I'm going to be doing med research for cancer pretty soon at my new job, and I'm going to see if I can't start a study of whether chantix is a good anti-depressant. Also, for anxiety, I've taken 1 to 1.5mg of Klonopin every day for over 5 years, and it's helped immeasurably. Again, a very low dose, and haven't had to raise my dose in 5 years which astonishes all my psychiatrists.

Okay that's my med story.

Back to how to deal with obsessions. Here are my two cents.

About WP obsession: I think it's perfectly understandable that we get obsessed with this place. For one thing, we have a tendency to perseverate. Also, if you take into account the fact that most of us have been isolated and misunderstood all our lives, and then we find a place where (I get goosebumps typing this) WE READ ABOUT PEOPLE JUST LIKE US, of course we're going to be fascinated! I find so much value here. Even if I spend five hours and most of it is immature stuff, I always come away with an incredible insight into my life, and I how I can function better and be happier. What better use of my time could I do right now? (I'm not working so I have the luxury and am taking advantage of it)

Also, the on/off switch. I think that's an aspie thing that the psychologists don't yet know about. I'll do nothing for 5 hours, then go to clean, and will clean like a whirlwind without stopping until I'm done and it looks great. On/off - yup.

Then there's one more thing: I believe if you really need to get something done, if it's really really important, you will stop perseverating and get it done. If it doesn't really need to be done, don't worry about it.

One tool that helps me get important stuff done is Outlook Calendar. I will always put calendar entries on it for the next day or when it's due, then I know I have to do that. I spread onerous tasks out. So this thread reminds me that I need to pay bills, but I'm not going to stop and go pay bills. I will stop and put an entry for tomorrow to pay bills

For a long while there when I was in not so good situations I had to learn how to adapt to change rapidly. Because I'm strategic I came up with a system that used my in-depth analysis on people or characters to "mold" myself into different people. Each city was a new name, new look, ner persona. They usually followed the flow of a current or one of my obsessions of a character or a person. I would get so involved with it that I would learn everything there is to know about how they work, what they like, their patterns, how they present themselves and than I would become them so to say, of course.. not really but I would "borrow" their traits and just about everything about them.

It got to the point where I lost myself completely and was spindling off a new interest everytime one came along. Last year did me in because fo the first time in over five years i did not need to do this. The problem was I learnt how to do it so well that it was like air to me, I didn't really realize. A new interest in _____ of (band)(show)(Manga)ect and I would get so involved with their research, their psychology and what they could do, what they would do it would change my whole world and entire being. I've lived like this up until maybe a month before I found this site for seven years.

I understand the frustration behind not being able to stop but the first step you took; you realized it. I also understand avoidance, I do it too and its hard. What I think you need is something healthy AND productive, like a job you like or going back to school or something like this? Something that you could incorperate a couple of your interests in?

I'm just starting to do this myself, its pathetic how much of a mess I was. Since I hunger for knowledge and competence and love application of abstract thinking and theory, patterns and analysis I'm choosing college courses that fit these things, Computer Tech and Science Lab Tech.

We all struggle with these things though, aside from my "personality" absorbsion I too have troubles with smaller obsessions like me reawakened Beast Wars obsession there for awhile, a good week or two all I did was watch that damn show and I'm still sadly torrenting it to DL them all.

OMG this is the beast I'm fighting too. (Wasn't there a book about depression titled"The Beast"?) Mine are books, video games and now WP. I spent all last night catching up to one thread I like... when I finally reached the end, I was too tired to post, and unsure whether I'd be welcome.

Thanks aylissa, for the word: Perseveration. The tendency to keep at something way beyond the initial impetus, spending far too long on something. One therapist pointed out that I'm really bad at stopping activities, saying goodbye, "Transitioning."
My current theory is that my feeling-good neurotransmitters (serotonin?) are depleted, and anything that makes me feel bad is too much to handle, since the system doesn't compensate. So only feel-good things keep me balanced (anxiety about what happens when the money runs out and I'm still this dysfunctional is the inescapable bad.)

And i hate cleaning too. Even my ADD ritalin doesn't help with that anymore.

As for appointments, I've finally convinced myself to allow extra time to get a burger, etc, so that when procrastination collapses the plan, I can at least rush and get there on time.

Anyone else "bribe" yourself to do something you dislike that needs to get done?I actually have to buy myself something,eat something unhealthy(chocolate goodness)just to get something done.It does work sometimes but feels like I am bribing the "spoiled brat" that dwells within.

Yeah,and yep.Me too.I "need" to explore what I am interested in at that time,and have the flexibility to adjust interests as they wax and wane.I need to exhaust whatever idea I'm fixated on,really explore every aspect until I feel satisfied that I have some peaceable comprehension of it.It may take an hour or a decade."Perseveration" is the best word for this.

And it aggravates me when uninteresting aspects of life intrude and steal energy from what I really care about at the time,or when other people try to sway my attention or diminish what I find fascinating.I'm of the school of thought,at least for now,that attempting to halt a perseveration only intensifies it.That's been my experience.And I agree that it is not the same as common addictions or bad habits.It's a sense of total wonder and purpose.

Does anyone else hate the word "hobby"?Doesn't it totally trivialize the nature of an obsession?

Yes,sometimes I will balance work,labor,or obligation with self-indulgence.That's not bad,in my mind.It reminds you that your life is ultimately yours,despite your willingness to accomodate necessities when need be.

Let me ask you:is your occasional self-image as "spoiled brat" realistic or is it self-loathing based on external ideals?I've thoroughly compromised and denied myself,self-medicated,been in therapy thrice,been on SSRIs twice,tested for all manner of nonexistent psychopatholigies.And my persevarations have never gone away.I can't speak for you,but I think I have to accept for now that they are somehow central to the way I am "wired".

Maybe ask yourself:are the ways other people manage their time/energy really any "better",or just different?It seems to me that most people fill their lives with busy-work,obligations,and distractions because they never honestly feel a sense of purpose.Maybe that's just defensive thinking on my part,but I wonder.

Methinks you're right ,to an extent.I do keep my life as uncluttered by "trivia" as possible.I have chosen low paying jobs to avoid more stress and dont care about material possessions(other then all my books,rocks,crafts and two dollar thriftstore scores. )but I am so consciously aware of the process.....it is an actual adult talking to this little kid who doesnt want to clean the bathroom....I was never "bribed" as a kid....so my "super-ego" isn't my parents.It just seems weird that I need such external rewards,when all I needed growing up is my parents saying..."do it" and "now"....It might not feel so embarrassing if I wasnt so conscious of the whole progress.