I believe my 6 yr old autistic son was wrongfully suspended

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Hi guys, thank so much for maintaining this site which is a godsend now that I've discovered it.

Anyway, I've been reading a lot the past few days, but I think our situation is a bit unique.

We have a 6 year old on the severe side of the spectrum. Last week, the school called us to come pick him up early as he was scratching his 1 on 1 aid, as well as another student.

School lets out at 2:00, but they called me at 11:00 to come get him, which I did promptly. When I arrived the principal and his aid were calming him in a separate room. I asked if I needed to sign anything and they told me no, I could just take him home for the day. When I requested some documentation she resisted and said it wasn't necessary, they weren't suspending him, he just needed to calm down and they thought it best that he go home for the day. When I insisted on the documentation they then complied and made us wait a good 45 minutes for it.

[I had been told by a family friend who's a special ed teacher to always get documentation for sent home early's, as it limits it to 10 days they can do it, at which time a district intervention is required, which we feel would be necessary if it got to that point where he ever lost 10 days of school]

Upon receiving the suspension form, I signed it, but did not even think to look at the date as the thought never crossed my mind that they would tack on an additional day.

The next day when I brought him to school, the teacher looked at me funny but didn't say anything when I dropped him off. Instead, she called the office and had the secretary run me down at the sidewalk to inform me that Logan couldn't be at school that day.

Because of this incident the teacher is no longer communicating with either myself or my wife when we drop him off/pick him up, and the relationship with the principal is beyond repair due to the fact that I know she told me to my face that he just had to go home for the day, but punished him an extra day because of my request for paperwork on being sent home.

Do we have options here, was my request out of line? Both my wife and I feel uncomfortable dealing with this school in the future, and our secondary issue is that we have another child (who's not disabled) who also attends this school and we would prefer to not subject her to any unnecessary bias if that is the m.o. of how they deal with problems.

Thanks for reading this,

Nick

Yes, that is a problem, but not really wrongfully suspended, you still haven't told me what it was for, the information (needed) for me to arrive at my conclusion.

Well, the title has a character limit, so I had to find something to describe the situation that fit the box.

A better title would have been:

My 6 year old autistic son received an additional day suspension because I requested that his early release be documented.

The suspension itself was justified, it was written for (a) (1) Caused / attempted / threatened physical injury or (2) Willfully used force / violence, except in self defense

Short description was "Threatening Bodily Harm".

It was also written as a 1 day suspension but he was forced to leave early on Tuesday and was not allowed into school on Wednesday, so by my count, that's more than 1 day, but apparently, they don't operate that way?

My rationale, if a child is sent home early, it should be documented. If you ask for that documentation, it should not include an additional day for their trouble. That action intimidates me in asking for future events to be documented for our records.

Ok here is how I see it. You basically forced them to suspend your child when all they really wanted to do was send him home at 11am to give him a chance to calm down because it's likely he wasn't going to do that at the school. Generally when they suspend, because it's the same protocol for everyone (nothing special for special needs kids) they have to give a reason and each "Reason" has an associated mandatory suspension period. They put the reasons as violent and intent to cause harm, which mandated, it seems a send home early and a full day suspension. Had you not asked for documentation, it's likely they would have sent him home and he would have been welcome back the next day. They probably didn't have another way to officially document it for all parties involved. If they document it for you, they need to document it for themselves, suspension is an easy way to do that. Plus had they not suspended him or done anything official it wouldn't have counted towards his 10 days, which if this is the first time they have sent him home, is really a bonus for everyone involved. You don't want you kid out for too many days, they also don't want to be... for lack of a better way to put it, "Stuck" with him on a bad day after they've used 10 days already. You see? Also he now has a suspension permanently on record. It's possible they were trying to avoid that as that isn't really a good thing either. Yes, may not be totally on the up and up, but that's kind of the way it is or at least the way I'm reading it based on my own experiences. Seems like they were trying to do everyone a favor and you were maybe a bit of a pain. Maybe. But I wasn't there so I don't know, but that's the vibe I'm getting based on what you wrote and your description of how everyone is acting after the fact. Just... think about it a little.

I probably wouldn't have gone down this path unless I thought they were just sending my kid home to get rid of them for no really good reason or unless they were doing it way too often.

But is it legal to do it?

I had been told an unofficial exclsuion was unlawful? Schools are allowed to send home children and look the other way on the problems that cause it?

Wright's Law is a good source for legal information related to disability.

On a very quick search, (Iam sure you can find better)I did not find anything relating to sending kids home without suspension and no documentation, but I did find this:


http://www.wrightslaw.com/info/discipl. ... abtree.htm

Long term Suspensions or Expulsions

Most importantly, a school system cannot impose a long-term suspension or expel a student with special educational needs if the behavior for which s/he is being disciplined was a "manifestation" of his or her disability. (§1415(k)(4)(B),(C)) IDEA provides that the IEP team must find that behavior was a manifestation of the child's disability if:

the conduct in question was caused by, or had a direct and substantial relationship to, the child’s disability; or
the conduct in question was the direct result of the local educational agency’s failure to implement the IEP.

If either of these circumstances applies, the IEP team must correct the IEP or its implementation and, except for the 45-day provisions I described earlier, the school cannot legally suspend the student beyond ten days. If the team finds that the behavior is not a manifestation of the child's disability, the school can suspend longer than ten days as it can a student without a disability, but must still provide ongoing education under his/her IEP during the suspension.

___________

To me this seems to indicate that if they are going to give you documentation that this counts against the 10 day suspension rule, they are going to give your kid a suspension.

When we were in public school, the school did a lot of things off the record --that in our case benefited us more than it hurt us. I think CWA may be correct. I think you may have outsmarted yourself by asking for documentation, but maybe if you take a closer look at the legalities, you will still disagree.

I was thinking the same thing. Have a meeting with your IEP team.

Maybe you could iron things out at the meeting. Make sure you assert your rights.

Greetings Nick,

I can see why some of the other responses thus far suggested that maybe you had taken it too far. I offer this... based on what you have indicated why did the "some form of documentation" HAVE to be a suspension? If in the one moment she said that were not going to suspend your son then why is that what she came back with? That would be something that I would ask her personally. I cannot believe that this is the only way for them to document the morning's events. Hell, a simple email might have sufficed. In some ways it seems like a "damned if you do and damned if you don't" kind of situation. I am a firm believer in documenting everything when I deal with my sons school because it may be the only leg that I have to stand on if it were ever get to the level of the school board or further. (I have gone as far as recording our "team" meetings) As a parent it seems like you were trying to do right by your son, and take a friend's advice that you would think is familiar with these types of situations. (he must have recommended that you get documentation for good reason. Right?) My son is in first grade, and I find it very hard to strike a balance of advocating for my son within a system where I get the impression that their work day would be a lot easier if they did not have to contend with some of his behaviors. I am of the opinion that you did what you thought was right. In retrospect, would you do anything different? Are you able to talk with the principle one on one and see if she'll share her thought process on the change in heart? Moving forward, you will be better equipped either way. Kind regards. Shark

Civility is an asset on Wrong Planet Pieplup and your post falls well below the standard of netiquette here, Pieplup. It has been edited to remove insulting comment directed at the OP.

This is my line of thinking, too. They felt backed into a corner and defaulted to being hard a$$es who follow the letter of the law.

OP, I think you really need to re-evaluate your stance that your relationship with this principal has been "irrevocably damaged." School personnel are human beings. They need forgiveness sometimes, too.

I do think that I would deal with it the way you did. I was a special educator. And yes, we document EVERYTHING. I probably would have just given you a cope of the incident report if you had asked me for documentation. Which, BTW, we have to do every time we lay hands on a child in a crisis situation anyways. I suggest asking for that incident report, now anyways. Make sure they are writing them up. It's a special education thing. It is possible that the teacher just hadn't written it yet. We do have other kids. I suggest asking WHEN you can pick up a copy of the incident report. It should be done before any involved personnel go home that same day. That might get you better results than just asking for any documentation. And it would still be proof that they sent him home for the day.

As for your relationship with the school. Please treat them with every professional courtesy. Nobody likes being yelled at or publicly called out when they mess up. Make an appointment with that principal, sit down and have a calm, rational conversation about this incident and about your fears for your child. This meeting would be about YOUR relationship with them. Please state that you'd like an informal meeting, NOT and IEP team meeting, because otherwise, you'll get the whole team there and that's more than you probably want to deal with. If you don't think you can do that calmly and securely, find a friend to come with you who can act as a buffer.

You are on a team with these people to raise your child. Most people in education sincerely love kids. You'll get better behavior from them if you honor that in them. I've said this on these boards before - in a way, you are their boss. You want to be a good boss. Insist on high standards, but don't micro-manage. Encourage their successes, but also help them see it when they have strayed off course. Employees need to know that what they do does matter to you, but they don't need to be humiliated or treated harshly when they mess up. And they are going to mess up from time to time, expect that and be prepared to help them correct that.

Definitely have a meeting with your IEP team.

If this child has another incidence of acting out violently, yah, its time for an IEP. Because you'll want to evaluate what needs to change in his whole program to address the new behavior. But if it was just a bad day for everyone involved, that's really going overboard. IEP meetings mean time and paperwork that could better be used teaching. Informal meetings are what we do inbetween the IEP meetings, to keep lines of communication open. IEP meetings mean gathering the whole team, even those who had nothing to do with this incident. They mean everything said becomes fair game for a legal document. It's a whole thing that has a pretty rigid structure.

There is a gentle balance between relationship building and following procedures. If you are only willing to talk in official IEP meetings, you aren't going to have the best possible relationship with your team. Yes, things need to be documented and such, but there is also a behind the scenes relationship between the family and the school. Both need to be nourished.

Nooooooooo. It's not legal EXACTLY, however they were clearly willing to bend the rules because he's autistic. It's likely that they thought you wanted documentation to either cover your own butt or for some legal purposes because a LOT of parents love to turn everything around and cause legal troubles with the school. Basically.... there is a big difference between suspending a kid who willingly and knowingly hits a teacher and suspending an autistic kid who during a meltdown may have harmed a teacher. LEGALLY they are suposed to suspend BOTH IIRC. HOWEVER Obviously the kid who punches a teacher SHOULD be suspended, no doubt. But many would argue that the autistic child having a meltdown might deserve some leniency ESPECIALLY the first time it happens. That being said a suspension is a good way, and likely their only existing route, to document everything *on both ends* and cover their own butts- they can't issue a written report of an incident in which a teacher is injured or harmed without also documenting consequences and actions taken, that opens them up legally in some pretty bad ways. It's likely they were going to look the other way and let it go, but when you demand a write up it makes them feel the need to cover their own butts too so they did everything the "legal" way which included an official suspension which was probably a mandatory 2 days.

Trust me, you don't want your kid suspended. It's also, imo, not fair to suspend an autistic child for having a meltdown. If my daughter was suspended every time she had a meltdown at that ade she never would have been at school. She melted down every day and yes, often ended up kicking or scratching her aid or teacher. I felt really terrible about it.

In the future if they offer you an "out" like they clearly did, TAKE IT. What you did was raise suspicions, and generally make them not want to deal with you.

HERE IS WHAT YOU SHOULD DO.

Schedule an IEP review meeting. Submit a request IN WRITING and they must honor it. It may not be the full team, but you don't need the full team. BRING TO THE MEETING a full travel container of hot coffee (like one you can get from tim hortons, a gallon container with a spicet), cream, sugar, cups, and DOUGHNUTS. (note: if you live in a hot climate iced coffee is acceptable). Set it out, make it available for everyone. ALSO FOR THE CLASSROOM TEACHER bring a large container of clorox wipes, hand sanitizer, and anything else she might need in the classroom. Now you discuss the incident, what "triggered" the melt down, how to better handle future incidents, and what YOU personally can do (even just advice on how to help) and apologize profusely for any injuries caused during meltdowns. Act like you are on their side even if you secretly hate them all. You all NEED to have the feeling of being on the same side. I used to even bring my child to the meetings. You would be surprised how much nicer everyone is when the person you are all talking about is sitting right there.

Two things: First, I like the way you are thinking. Its not the way that I would go about it, but I like it. Especially the part where you bring the kiddo in question. Secondly, yes. It's legal to suspend an autistic kiddo just like any other kid unless it's written that there is a different plan in his IEP. I'm hoping for the OP's benefit that this was a one time thing, but if its not, it really might be worth having a behavior plan in place. But you also might think that he's 6 and sometimes, he might just need to go home sometimes. (Maybe your IEP plan could be that it gets documented and he only goes home for the afternoon? I don't know what your situation is.)

My DD has an Aspie friend in elementary school.

When this girl would get upset, she would claw and try to bite.

She wound up clawing a para pro's face.

The principal tried to do the same thing, just sign her out for the day.

Mom said, "No, I want paper work stating the reason for leaving."

Really the principal was throwing the mom a huge bone, and she threw it back at him. The girl clawed up the para. Mom forced the principal to document the event, which triggered the suspension because of the "assault" (face with 3 deep scratches), which trigger the union automatically getting involved for the para pro since the skin was broken. Which also triggered a workman's comp case because the para was "injuried on the job".

The principal, teacher and para pro were fine with letting mom take the girl home.

I get there are s**t schools with s**t administrators, and parents are loaded for bear because they want the best for their kids.

The request caused a cascade of legal nonsense for no good reason.

The previous posters gave you some good advice on dealing with school in the future. My school could have played hard ball with going right to the suspension, but offered just going home. Sometimes you have to trust the school system and administrators are not out to screw your kid over.

Just another point of view. That elementary school had a huge Autism Intervention program and loathed to document meltdowns which lead to scratches or a bruise as assaults.

It's possible they wanted him to be sent home because they felt he was too distressed to stay in school, for his own sake. And yeah, it's likely you triggered something by asking for a write up. I feel they should have explained to you when you requested it that formal documents would mean an extra day off.

When I was working in a summer camp, I sent a child I was a 1:1 home for exactly that reason. It would have been cruel to keep him there. I did have to submit an incident form but it was for the meltdown and didn't ask for further suspension.

If he already has a 1:1, it would seem odd to me that the school would send him home without paperwork unless this was the case. If the school was trying to seek extra support/funding/etc they'd be documenting everything for that reason.

I work as a 1:1 (well, 1:2, really but that's a staffing issue and is good for no-one involved) and with the child I'm technically working with, if I wrote down every time I got hit/bitten/scratched I'd need an extra person to actually supervise them.

When I had my first aid training, the school the training it was based in had had a court case because a parent tried to sue them (unsuccessfully) over a first aid incident a few years before. Some schools are very worried about this sort of thing. But then, that school is pretty toxic over all, so...

While it does seem a bit odd that your teacher called the office, my school also have a rule that bad news or child protection type stuff is dealt with by a different member of staff to the class teacher because if the teacher does it, it can impair the parent-teacher relationship. Or possibly even that they have a something other that meant they didn't have time to speak to you.

I would try calling an informal meeting and explain that you wanted it documented for (whatever reason you did), though I'd suggest that saying that you wanted it documented in case he needed further support in the future, such as potential transfer to a special school (if he's in mainstream). That you didn't realise there was going to be an additional day off as you hadn't read it closely in the moment.

Some schools do have dickish staff, and if that's the case I'd want my child out of there ASAP.