any college dropout here?
RetroGamer87
Veteran
Joined: 30 Jul 2013
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 10,970
Location: Adelaide, Australia
Good luck snollygoster!
I dropped out twice and had three nervous breakdowns while I was studying. I also switched majors four times but, eventually managed to get my undergraduate degree and then eventually a masters. I then dropped out of my PhD due to another nervous breakdown. I'm defiantly not cut out for the academic lifestyle.
RetroGamer87
Veteran
Joined: 30 Jul 2013
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 10,970
Location: Adelaide, Australia
Don't say that if you got a masters, those things are hard.
True - I am happy I eventually got my degrees. It was very difficult, but it's not done my mental health any good. I've basically got PTSD associated with research and academic writing now. The thought of ever going back to university terrifies me - not that I could ever afford it any more.
I dropped out from a previous college before because I just...couldn't do it. Living on campus and everything coupled with my extreme socially anxious personality did not go well. There were times when I couldn't sit and listen to a conversation being held in class and I'd have to walk out the room a few times to avoid exhibiting any "abnormal" behavior which would've gotten me into trouble and forced to seek help.
What initially made me decide that I couldn't keep up with school work is during one of my classes where we were assigned to read a book that talked about the spirituality and sexuality of non-contemporary cultures. It touched down on my sexual interest specifically which started me to sweat and become out of breath. I had to escape, I couldn't sit and listen to the possibility of people talk about my interests in a negative way. So I went to the bathroom and cried having flashbacks of being called out as a mental case, someone who needed to be locked up and killed by people from my past. I ended up yelling and throwing a fit in the bathroom, slamming the stall doors, flinging my body around and punching the walls. Again, Shadow tried to calm me down and provide support.
Once I did finally regain sanity, I decided to just grab myself and not continue class for that day. I gradually began to not go to my classes or finish my work. I was in a state of depression. I didn't want to leave my dorm and all I wanted to do was cry and sleep.
Eventually, I ended up going back home after the semester was over which ended up with me being punished by my mother and forced to get a job despite what I was going through. During that time I was suicidal, though my friends did all that they could to stop me from killing myself.
It was like a year before I decided on going back to college again. Now I do online college as my alternative.
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[Inactive - I have left WP permanently]
RetroGamer87
Veteran
Joined: 30 Jul 2013
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 10,970
Location: Adelaide, Australia
Don't say that if you got a masters, those things are hard.
True - I am happy I eventually got my degrees. It was very difficult, but it's not done my mental health any good. I've basically got PTSD associated with research and academic writing now. The thought of ever going back to university terrifies me - not that I could ever afford it any more.
Wow, that kind of makes me glad I never went to university. It sounds very unpleasant.
_________________
The days are long, but the years are short
Don't say that if you got a masters, those things are hard.
True - I am happy I eventually got my degrees. It was very difficult, but it's not done my mental health any good. I've basically got PTSD associated with research and academic writing now. The thought of ever going back to university terrifies me - not that I could ever afford it any more.
Wow, that kind of makes me glad I never went to university. It sounds very unpleasant.
Some of it definitely was unpleasant, although most of that was of my own fault for choosing very academically demanding courses without first mastering some basic skills like studying, writing essays, talking to people and time management. It also didn't help that I chose to try to study engineering while having severe dyscalculia (undiagnosed at the time). So while it has left me in worse mental health than when I started and now in significant debt that I have no hope of every paying off, there is still some good that came out if it.
Without attending university, I would have never met my husband or ever gotten an official diagnosis of my learning differences (Aspergers was still missed). I also wouldn't have had as much opportunity to develop my social skills. So, overall, I don't entirely regret going.
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