Unending Dissatisfaction

Post Reply New Topic

There is not a single thing I am satisfied with ever. All I ever think about is somewhere I'd rather live. Someone I'd rather be. Something I'd rather do. I am never happy for more than a few minutes.

I constantly think about moving places. I don't have a job. I wasted high school. I hate everybody. Everybody thinks I'm a jerk. I hate them all, they're all stupid and easy to manipulate, they're like cows. People are all stupid animals. I hate the species. I am not human. I was born with a different condition to humanity. An altered being.

Every summer, I become plagued with visions of my own death. Every object I see that could kill me, I start visualizing me being killed by it. Even power drills and jumper cables.

Last night, I had a dream that someone was coming at me with a knife. I cut their arm over and over until they'd drop it. Somewhere around 10 cuts.

I've always felt like the world isn't worth anything. I could imagine a million worlds better than this one. Creativity is my only positive trait. Living in a world ten thousand times inferior to an imaginable one has made me an escapist. I'd start taking heroin if I had money. If I left my parent's house, I'd die in a minimum of 5 days. I would jump off a roof and land on my head in the streets.

I don't believe in good and evil anymore. I don't care about anything. There is so much pain in the world that now it means nothing on an individual level. Everyone freaked out over the election and all I could say was "bring on the chaos." The people rioting in the streets and blocking traffic are all losers. They are weak and irresponsible and cannot accept their failure, both as a party and as individuals.

Now I just cheer destruction and chaos and pain and hate on, because nothing else is as permanent and I wouldn't be happy in a happy world anyway. World War 3 would be a godsend. Just end it already. I'd be guilty if I killed myself and everyone else kept on continuing with this pointless and tiring enterprise, like stupid cows that can't help but mate and fill the entire world with s**t.

Sounds a lot like depression dude , are you getting any treatment.

On a side note in the TV series Z-Nation , the new world order is being started in Spokane

You're wrong about 1 thing, that you are not the same as everyone else. You are, you're just as much as an as*hole and a sheeple as they are.

The people you are so disdainful of are the people who envision a different world and then -take the action to change it- while you're the poor sod who envisions but has given up. There is no acceptance of failure as being a good thing if that acceptance makes you want to die. Yet you accept failure and now you want to die because of it.

You hate other people so much that you will do -anything in your power to not be one of them- so much so that you would rather die than be like them. Which basically just means you practice a whole lot of self-hatred, or, apparently, consider yourself an entirely separate species (which is entirely -factually- wrong). If you don't believe me, all you have to do is imagine meeting yourself and see what you think of that person.

Failure is inevitable, but one's reaction to failure isn't.

There is no 'greater' pain than what exists for individuals. Pain -only- exists on an individual level, as individuals are the only things that have perceptions.


You need to experience love. This is not the same as someone loving you and you not experiencing it, you need to -feel the emotion- because without love we're all hollow shells.