I look like a mentally disordered person

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Awkward
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17 Jan 2017, 8:17 am

Everytime I open my phone's front camera I look like a disabled person with a fat face. I think my brain works properly but I look like a disabled person with some serious disability like down syndrome. For example, i can't laugh and i can't smile like other people. I force myself to smile and it looks like a fake smile. My face expressions are sometimes weird. And I look fat (95 kilograms). I have aspergers syndrome and social anxiety.

Please help what can i do to look like other people.



EzraS
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17 Jan 2017, 8:45 am

I think you have posted your picture before and you look okay. Most people don't look perfect and aren't satisfied with their face or body. At least you don't have a serious deformity or birth defect on your face like some I know. Sometimes disabled people look disabled and that's all there is. I know I certainly look disabled. So I understand just wanting to fit in.



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17 Jan 2017, 1:19 pm

Well, there are many fat, awkward people here, and I am awkward and way too skinny. People here will love and respect
you.
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SocOfAutism
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17 Jan 2017, 1:35 pm

People on the autism spectrum sometimes see a distorted image of themselves when they look in the mirror. A monster or an impossibly ugly person, or just someone they don't recognize.

I would recommend spending some time trying to accept that what you see is not what other people see. Then I would work on just not spending too much time looking at yourself. What is YOU may not have a lot to do with what is in the mirror. Focus more on the parts of your identity that you are comfortable with.



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17 Jan 2017, 10:16 pm

I looked in the mirror yesterday and thought I looked terrible, although other people think I look okay.



CockneyRebel
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17 Jan 2017, 11:34 pm

I used to hate looking at pictures of myself. I felt that way for similar reasons except I was skinny in those pictures. I've also seen recent pictures of myself at the weight that I am, now. I think in my mind that it is what it is and I have better things to worry about.


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18 Jan 2017, 12:16 am

yeah, every time i accidentally open my phone's front camera, i wince and look away.

people tend to hold their phones at an odd/different angle relative to their face when opening their front camera, as opposed to just looking in a mirror straight-on, so of course you're going to look different there.

focal length might also be a factor, whether real or simulated digitally.

i rarely ever truly smile unless i'm made to, like when i'm tickled or something (i'm very ticklish). i don't have a mirror in front of me on those occasions, so i don't have a comprehensive picture of what my true smile is like. only the fake practiced ones.


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EzraS
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18 Jan 2017, 12:22 am

SocOfAutism wrote:
People on the autism spectrum sometimes see a distorted image of themselves when they look in the mirror. A monster or an impossibly ugly person, or just someone they don't recognize.


I have that problem.



invisiblesister
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18 Jan 2017, 11:25 am

EzraS wrote:
SocOfAutism wrote:
People on the autism spectrum sometimes see a distorted image of themselves when they look in the mirror. A monster or an impossibly ugly person, or just someone they don't recognize.


I have that problem.


I do too. Every time I look in the mirror it's like I see a different person. When I was a teenager, I saw a girl with baggy eyes, a unibrow, and a mustache. Now that I'm older, I just see a brown-haired young woman with a tired smile. But it's never quite the same face, and I don't have a good grasp of what I look like.

Have you ever looked in a mirror in a dream? That can tell you a lot about your self-image. Reminds me of a kid's cartoon I saw: the character dreamed he was surrounded by a circle of funhouse mirrors, each one giving him a different distorted reflection.



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18 Jan 2017, 12:01 pm

SocOfAutism wrote:
People on the autism spectrum sometimes see a distorted image of themselves when they look in the mirror. A monster or an impossibly ugly person, or just someone they don't recognize.

I would recommend spending some time trying to accept that what you see is not what other people see. Then I would work on just not spending too much time looking at yourself. What is YOU may not have a lot to do with what is in the mirror. Focus more on the parts of your identity that you are comfortable with.


This is very true and it also runs in the family. My mother H-A-T-E-S getting her picture taken and "sees" ridiculous things in pictures that don't exist. In my case, it was hard not to think that way because a) as a child I was told it all the time, even by grotesque, morbidly obese kids and b) all the rejection I had in online dating. Of course, now I know that plenty of women DIDN'T think that way especially when I wore a suit as I would have women blatantly hit on me all the time!! I know my wife thinks I am drop dead handsome and reminds me to wear my wedding ring when I leave the house to keep attention away from me. That's good enough for me :)

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Every time I look in the mirror it's like I see a different person. When I was a teenager, I saw a girl with baggy eyes, a unibrow, and a mustache. Now that I'm older, I just see a brown-haired young woman with a tired smile. But it's never quite the same face, and I don't have a good grasp of what I look like.

In my case, I have been told by countless people that I look like a different person in every photo I had posted online. That's why I had no problem posting an image of myself here once: nobody would have recognized me even if they held the photo up to my real face.



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18 Jan 2017, 12:18 pm

I don't like looking at pictures of myself. I feel like I start looking stupid whenever someone points a camera at me.



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18 Jan 2017, 12:39 pm

Try taking a selfie from a different angle , on most selfies it appears that the best angle is to hold your phone above your head and angle it down as you look up - see if this makes a difference ?


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Pieplup
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18 Jan 2017, 1:47 pm

Awkward wrote:
Everytime I open my phone's front camera I look like a disabled person with a fat face. I think my brain works properly but I look like a disabled person with some serious disability like down syndrome. For example, i can't laugh and i can't smile like other people. I force myself to smile and it looks like a fake smile. My face expressions are sometimes weird. And I look fat (95 kilograms). I have aspergers syndrome and social anxiety.


If your serious 206 lbs./95kg. Isn't terribly bad for someone who's male though. If your female I'd be concerned though. Also depending on your height maybe be worse. I'd tell you you shouldn't be so worried about your image and focus on being a better person.


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18 Jan 2017, 4:59 pm

I do not know how I look.


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