Met someone nice, don't see any point

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Alliekit
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30 Jan 2017, 5:40 pm

Sometimes it's like a self-fufilling prophecy where because you think something is going to go wrong you ultimately cause it to go wrong (unintentionally).

I think you really have to ask yourself what have you got to lose?

Instead of thinking ahead and stressing yourself just try to be more laid back maybe and if something happens it will, if it doesn't it doesn't. That way you aren't driving yourself crazy.



The_Face_of_Boo
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31 Jan 2017, 11:16 am

Alliekit wrote:
Sometimes it's like a self-fufilling prophecy where because you think something is going to go wrong you ultimately cause it to go wrong (unintentionally).

I think you really have to ask yourself what have you got to lose?

Instead of thinking ahead and stressing yourself just try to be more laid back maybe and if something happens it will, if it doesn't it doesn't. That way you aren't driving yourself crazy.


Sometimes a rejection makes you lose face.



hurtloam
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31 Jan 2017, 3:15 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Alliekit wrote:
Sometimes it's like a self-fufilling prophecy where because you think something is going to go wrong you ultimately cause it to go wrong (unintentionally).

I think you really have to ask yourself what have you got to lose?

Instead of thinking ahead and stressing yourself just try to be more laid back maybe and if something happens it will, if it doesn't it doesn't. That way you aren't driving yourself crazy.


Sometimes a rejection makes you lose face.


With who?



The_Face_of_Boo
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31 Jan 2017, 3:25 pm

hurtloam wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Alliekit wrote:
Sometimes it's like a self-fufilling prophecy where because you think something is going to go wrong you ultimately cause it to go wrong (unintentionally).

I think you really have to ask yourself what have you got to lose?

Instead of thinking ahead and stressing yourself just try to be more laid back maybe and if something happens it will, if it doesn't it doesn't. That way you aren't driving yourself crazy.


Sometimes a rejection makes you lose face.


With who?


With the one who rejected you, and the social social you are both in.



hurtloam
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31 Jan 2017, 3:47 pm

Alliekit wrote:
Sometimes it's like a self-fufilling prophecy where because you think something is going to go wrong you ultimately cause it to go wrong (unintentionally).

I think you really have to ask yourself what have you got to lose?

Instead of thinking ahead and stressing yourself just try to be more laid back maybe and if something happens it will, if it doesn't it doesn't. That way you aren't driving yourself crazy.


Yeah, not stressing and going with the floe is good advice.

However, my problem is that my natural default setting is to ignore people. When I like some I know that I have to bother talking to them which is OK if they are nice, but they never talk to me first. I ALWAYS have to make the first move. That makes me feel like I'm pushing myself on a guy who couldn't care less about me.



The_Face_of_Boo
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31 Jan 2017, 4:11 pm

I would give then the very same advice that I gave to all men here, but in your case with genders reversed but still applicable and very true nevertheless: Someone who cares for you, will initiate communication with you sometimes, and someone who never initiates means he doesn't care for you.

You can initiate with him 1, 2 , 3 ...nth times, but at some point if he really cares he would initiate with you at least at times. Like I have said in the old thread, it doesn't matter if he/she initiates the conversations 30%, 20% or even 10% of times you two talk, but at the very least it must be above zero.



Alliekit
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31 Jan 2017, 4:14 pm

hurtloam wrote:
Alliekit wrote:
Sometimes it's like a self-fufilling prophecy where because you think something is going to go wrong you ultimately cause it to go wrong (unintentionally).

I think you really have to ask yourself what have you got to lose?

Instead of thinking ahead and stressing yourself just try to be more laid back maybe and if something happens it will, if it doesn't it doesn't. That way you aren't driving yourself crazy.


Yeah, not stressing and going with the floe is good advice.

However, my problem is that my natural default setting is to ignore people. When I like some I know that I have to bother talking to them which is OK if they are nice, but they never talk to me first. I ALWAYS have to make the first move. That makes me feel like I'm pushing myself on a guy who couldn't care less about me.


I can relate i'm like that with trying to make friends. This year I just bit the bullet and randomly started talking to people. Its weird because for the first time they actually invite me to stuff so I'm starting to wonder if my feeling that I was being annoying was just in my head.

Sometimes in a weird way you have to care less about other people because if you care too much about if you are bothering them you ultimately mess yourself up (If that makes any sense at all).

Also I know its easy to say and harder to put into practice



kraftiekortie
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31 Jan 2017, 6:44 pm

Hey Hurtloam,

I like it that you are conquering your "down-ness" (I don't know if you are actually "depressed" clinically). I like it that you come on here, and debate with us.

This shows that you are not complacent, that you want to change your "status-quo."

I find that to be a sign that you haven't "given up the ghost."



The_Face_of_Boo
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01 Feb 2017, 2:12 pm

You have a social life, and that's key. I think you are doing well.



hurtloam
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01 Feb 2017, 5:20 pm

Hey Kraftie, I am depressed clinically. The Dr took me through a Ericsson of questions and gave me antidepressants.

Anyway thanks for the positive comments.

And thanks for the positivity Boo.



diablo
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01 Feb 2017, 5:21 pm

Alliekit wrote:
Sometimes it's like a self-fufilling prophecy where because you think something is going to go wrong you ultimately cause it to go wrong (unintentionally).

I think you really have to ask yourself what have you got to lose?

Instead of thinking ahead and stressing yourself just try to be more laid back maybe and if something happens it will, if it doesn't it doesn't. That way you aren't driving yourself crazy.


Damn catastrophic thinking.

Image


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The_Face_of_Boo
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01 Feb 2017, 6:24 pm

diablo wrote:
Alliekit wrote:
Sometimes it's like a self-fufilling prophecy where because you think something is going to go wrong you ultimately cause it to go wrong (unintentionally).

I think you really have to ask yourself what have you got to lose?

Instead of thinking ahead and stressing yourself just try to be more laid back maybe and if something happens it will, if it doesn't it doesn't. That way you aren't driving yourself crazy.


Damn catastrophic thinking.

Image


Image



Alliekit
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01 Feb 2017, 6:28 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
diablo wrote:
Alliekit wrote:
Sometimes it's like a self-fufilling prophecy where because you think something is going to go wrong you ultimately cause it to go wrong (unintentionally).

I think you really have to ask yourself what have you got to lose?

Instead of thinking ahead and stressing yourself just try to be more laid back maybe and if something happens it will, if it doesn't it doesn't. That way you aren't driving yourself crazy.


Damn catastrophic thinking.

Image


Image


Thats such a good representation, It is a daily struggle.



Boxman108
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01 Feb 2017, 8:14 pm

Often wish I had more of it to keep me from having done really stupid s**t in my life lol


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Cad
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04 Feb 2017, 6:09 pm

hurtloam wrote:
I've been invited to a barn dance,so may see him there.


I absolutely love barn dances. You should go to it anyway, just because barn dances are fun, but also because you may get a dance with him.


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hurtloam
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18 Feb 2017, 12:00 pm

Cad wrote:
hurtloam wrote:
I've been invited to a barn dance,so may see him there.


I absolutely love barn dances. You should go to it anyway, just because barn dances are fun, but also because you may get a dance with him.



Barn dances are boring. No body ever dances with me. I've decided not to go. I'm so tired today, I'm too tired to even wash my hair. Last thing I can deal with is a room full of people I don't know very well.