9 yr old son REFUSES to take antibiotics-Rather looong!

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Hi, this is my first post on here although I've been on wrong planet apparently since 2012 lol.
I'm having an issue(s) with my son. But first a little background.
He is 9, in fourth grade in public school but within a "partner classroom" run by NECC specifically for kids on the spectrum, and is integrated with his peers as much as possible throughout the day. He is verbal when he wants to be (although usually he only wants to talk about whatever his latest DeviantArt project is)

He's a very lovable, good boy, generally happy, but when he gets upset or angry he can get very aggressive, destructive and violent...especially toward me. Recently for the past month or so, he has been refusing to go to school which hasn't been much fun but we're working on it w/the school.

Secondly, he eats just about nothing. I'm not sure if it's an aversion to different textures of food but he is VERY fearful to try anything new and the things he used to eat (nuggets/pasta etc) he began refusing one by one beginning about 2 yrs ago. Even things like gummy snacks, ice cream, M&M's candy cupcakes-things almost every kid will eat he won't touch. His diet is so bad now he is prescribed Boost nutrition drinks 3x a day. Luckily he likes the Boost so he's getting some nutrition but that's about all.

Also, and most likely pretty significant...his dad passed away in October of brain cancer. His dad & I had been separated since about age 4 but we got along great and his dad had him every weekend until he began a steady decline around June/July. I've been very honest with him up to and including his dad's death and it's been very hard for him. Although he didn't(couldn't?) cry and he has a hard time showing his emotions he has told me several times that he misses his dad and we talk about it as much as he's willing to.
So there's a little background. Ok , so on to my problem.

Almost 2 weeks ago now, he became very sick with a stomach virus. High fever, vomiting the while bit. This lasted several days and he obviously missed school during this time. As he began to get over the stomach virus, he began to come down with an upper respiratory infection which didn't get too bad but included a low grade fever (keeping him from school longer) and his nose & lips became very chapped. Which he picked at obsessively. His lips became so chapped and infected and he refused to let me put anything on them (Vaseline, chapstick).
By Mon of this week his fever was down enough for him to go back to school although he wasn't terribly compliant I managed to get him there for at least 1/2 the day. Tuesday morning there was a 2 hr delay due to snow here and he woke at 9am (9:30 bus comes) and when I'm getting him ready I look at his lips which looked horrible but I noticed his neck on the right side was completely swollen right up to his face.
Another day off, I made an appointment with his doctor immediately(which he refused to come with me until we missed it) so when I could get him to go on the Drs advice I took him to an urgent care clinic.

They diagnosed him with lymphadenitis (infection of lymph nodes)most likely from his chapped lips or upper respiratory infection.

They prescribed Augmentin liquid. But he will not take it! Nor will he now take the Tylenol meltaways to reduce his fever (he used to take those just fine) I had an appointment with the doctor for a follow-up but we got hit with a huge snowstorm & not only could we not make it on time, he was again resisting leaving the house. So they told me to follow up with the clinic.

I'm not sure what I'm asking as far as advice here- I guess ideas to get him to take the antibiotics...I tried to sneak a small amount into his shake, but he immediately recoiled at the taste and I can't turn him off from them, it's the only thing that is providing any nutrition at this point. Nurse said try chocolate syrup but he won't even eat that.

I'm beginning the process of getting him to go to the clinic for a follow-up now and hoping it won't be a battle. All he wants to do is stay home and watch YouTube videos but his health is just a bit more important!!
Any ideas or suggestions would be most appreciated! Thanks!

Would he swallow a pill, I mean I know generally its not typical for 9 year olds to take that over liquid, chewable or meltables. But if the taste is really that bad for him maybe that would work, if there is no way you can convince him to endure the gross taste.

Though I don't know if they have pills in a low enough strength for a 9 year old, the doctor would know more about that obviously.

Does he give any reason why he wont take it aside from the taste? It is also possible maybe he has some kind of fear about taking it or something.

He actually takes Tenex (guanfacine) 3x a day in tablet form very well, but it's tiny. In my experience antibiotics in pill form are, well...The opposite of tiny, lol! But I will definitely ask the doctor if that's a possibility for him. Thanks!

I wonder if he thinks that by not taking the antibiotic, he can stay out of school longer. It might be worth asking him about it.

I'm intrigued by the idea that he might be rebelling against "babyish" liquid meds in favor of pills. Or he could have felt sick with the liquid once and want to avoid it. Anyways. This is one of those time when I note how frustrating it can be to parent! Yikes! I would be so irritated with him by now.

I think you're definitely on to something regarding the school issue. He's not a fan of going lately. Which is something I will definitely have to deal with next week. Luckily his teachers at school are trained to help me come up with stragities to deal with these types of behavioral issues and even come to the house for up to an hour a week to help implement them.

Unfortunately there is really no talking to him, especially if it is a subject he is trying to avoid or causes anxiety. If it's something he doesn't wish to talk about or deal with he'll just straight out tell me to stop talking. If I persist, he becomes VERY agitated and will sometimes just snap, even becoming physically aggressive toward me which has in the past led to hours of basic insanity.

I really think it's just that he's afraid to put anything in his mouth that might taste "wrong". He definitely has vetoed foods he used to eat after it tasted different, or for example had a tiny crunchy part where before it was always soft. He's not one for second chances I guess!

Well, after reading my post and taking several other issues we've been dealing with over the past 6-8 months into consideration, it's become very clear to me that he is developing new behaviors that directly relate to some of the bigger stressors in his life (like dad dying ).
I think I need to try & get him past this sickness and then get him into some greif counciling (do they have that for ASD kids that won't talk about or face their feelings?) as well as some type of feeding/swallowing therapy to address the eating problems. It may be extreme sensory issues or emotional...But whatever it is, it needs to be figured out and addressed ASAP before things get so bad he has to be hospitalized ...or I do!!
Thanks for your reply!

I can't imagine how hard it must be for him, losing his dad like that. I remember being so afraid of my family dying. Any kid might show up as stressed out after something like that happening. I hope he gets the help you both need him to have.

Switching from liquid to pills was a solution I successfully used with my son. It is counter intuitive in one sense but makes the taste much more brief, at least potentially. You might suggest to him that he takes a bit bigger mouthful of water or whatever he drinks.
I don't know how he feels about injections but they may be a valid substitute for your son. Back in the day a one time injection was often used to take care of certain bacterial infections. Perhaps that was before all the pills and liquids were available.
It does seem as if this is part of his grieving process. Intervention/Therapy/Counseling sounds appropriate to make sure the current repertoire of behaviors don't become permanent.

Thanks for your replies.
I will explore both options at this point. If it could be done in one shot, although I know he wouldn't like it, I'd concider it because this isn't something that can be left untreated. Or pill form. I'll discuss it with his Dr tomorrow.

And yes, although he doesn't speak of it often, and when he does shows very little emotion, he definitely is having quite a bit of trouble coping I think. He has expressed to me that he's afraid I'm going to die soon now. Which is really tough to handle because I've always been honest with him and as much as I'd like to, I cannot promise him I will be here forever and make his fears go away.
The best I've been able to tell him is that I do my best to stay healthy, to eat right, see my doctor for regular check ups or when something doesn't feel right and right now I am perfectly healthy. Also, I remind him that my own mom and dad have always been healthy and in fact are still alive (at 89 & 81 yrs old!).

Unfortunately his dad's side of the family seems to have quite a few members who've been stricken with cancer his paternal grandmother passed away from it 15 yrs ago and his dad was diagnosed just after he was born but it was a very slow growing tumor and most likely had been there for many years before being detected.

But still, he thinks logically. And although his dad had been diagnosed with brain cancer, he was too young to see the affects and the personality changes etc...his dad physically seemed very healthy. Until he wasn't. And who's to say the same won't happen to me out of the blue too. I wish I could tell him 100% it won't, but Ive learned from experience, one never knows. The only thing I can tell him is that it's very unlikely based on all the other factors. And that leaves him with fears.

Yes, I hope I can find someone who can help him to learn to grieve in a way that is right for him. There just doesn't seem to be anyone who knows much about the way ASD kids cope with greif except that it tends to be different from NT people.

I don't know if this is an aspie thing or not. But my fear that my parents would die was so present. I used to tie my teddy to my wrist at night, just in case there was a fire. I didn't want to loose him. And I knew all about where we would go if my parents died. (My grandparents, and then my Aunt and Uncle.) And I was really worried about moving out to their farm where I felt the kids would make fun of me. I think most kids just avoid the idea that death happens. But I didn't. I was super aware. I didn't have any relatives die. I just didn't have cognitive coping mechanisms to deal with that reality. I wonder what my NT brother remembers about that. Like, if he also had thoughts about death and dying.

I think you are doing the right thing being honest with your son. He would know if you were being illogical. I can't tell you what would have helped as a child. I can tell you for certain that antidepressants did not help me as a teen. This was in the early days of prozac, before they started to understand that some kids would get agitated on it. I was one of those kids.

As an adult, I continue to have a fascination/focus on death and dying. I help sick people as a professional. I am able to sit with them as they talk about death because I've researched it and I'm willing to discuss it. It's become a strength. Although, it's still somewhat painful that I think about it as much as I do. For example, I started teaching myself Indesign, and I'm a little concerned that I'll die before I'll be able to make use of all this hard work. It's such an insane thought, but I've had it.

Did his father have liquid medicines near the end? Seeing that would certainly give any child an aversion to liquid medicines.

When my daughter was very little, she was given chewable Augmentin. It was a fight to get it down her. Second dose, it partially melted in her mouth, I got a bit of spit/melted pill on my finger and I just automatically licked it off. Gross! The stuff tastes like how I imagine bread moldy for a week would taste. I'm pretty sure the liquid probably doesn't taste much better.

When I didn't want to take antibiotics as a child, my mother told me I would have to get a shot from the doctor instead. My fear of the needle made me drink the nasty pink medicine.

My son has at times refused medicine. The worst incident lasted a half hour. I held him down and forced him to take medicine. It felt like I was torturing the kid. But I didn't know what else I could do.

Now if he resists I remind him that he may end up in the hospital where they will give him ivs, etc. Then he takes it. Or have someone else administer the meds. You can leave the room or house entirely and he may act like a completely different person, he may be very compliant with someone else.

Good luck. I know this must be really rough on you. You're a good mom. Keep doing all these supportive things for your son!

My kid also went through a difficult time and reduced his food intake dramatically. He lost weight, he was so skinny. But eventually things did turn around and now he eats fine again.