Are most men struggling to get healthy weight women?

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Of course, it's not an exact equivalency. A neurotypical woman might be in the same "league" of an autistic man because she has a physical disability, is unemployed, is older, etc. The OP perhaps doesn't realize that having a social disability is in fact a very big deal to the women he wants to date. An NT woman would be "settling" for life with an autistic, whether she's fat or not.

Any NT dating an aspie is "settling" in your view?

Of course, it's not an exact equivalency. A neurotypical woman might be in the same "league" of an autistic man because she has a physical disability, is unemployed, is older, etc. The OP perhaps doesn't realize that having a social disability is in fact a very big deal to the women he wants to date. An NT woman would be "settling" for life with an autistic, whether she's fat or not.

Any Aspie dating a fattie is "settling" in your view?

Yes, a lot of women are looking to make a "connection," someone they can relate to on a very personal level. Guys who can do this are often very successful at dating, even though they aren't wealthy, tall, or good looking.

No. Any person who takes care of their own body, dating a fattie, would in a way be "settling" in my opinion.
Like a rich person dating a poor person would be settling. Or a non smoker dating a smoker.

This is true. It would be hard to be with someone who doesn't have somewhat of the same lifestyle as yourself. Everyone has their "wants" I guess. You just have to be able to live with the other person. I'm beginning to not like the word "settle".

So you weigh 172, but a woman who weighs 175 is way too fat for you? Maybe you should make sure you yourself have a perfect body type before you decide women are un-datable if they weight even two more pounds than you.

Also it seems like the thing you value above all else when it comes to women is how much they weigh, or at least you are hyper-focusing on it which probably isn't helping. Lol if I had been such a stickler on weight I wouldn't have the awesome boyfriend I do.

Like most HF Asperger men I have a difficult time meeting women as it is, as I have no social circle to meet or be introduced to women. I never made any friends during my latter HS, college and university years due to appearance-based bullying and/or shunning (125lbs, 5'9 and a face of a 14yo boy doesn't sit well for a 21yo man at the time; then sprinkle undiagnosed low level high functioning Aspergers on the top). Thus I adopted the 'lone wolf', "sod the lot of 'um!" persona and had to accept it. So all I ever had to rely on was online dating or meeting women through volunteer work or hobby groups. My work is all-male based Blue Collar, so there is no women at work. Every volunteer work I have undertaken, and every hobby club I have done (martial arts, photography. walking) the healthy weight girls are already taken, or they are retired women over 60, and the only few single women are obese. Obesity is not my thing, I can't help the way I'm wired. I tend to lose all attraction if a woman (of 5'2 > 5'6) tips over the 150lbs mark, or a BMI over 26, 26.5.

I'm now 172lbs, 5'10, with an average appearance. Look younger than my 39 years - somewhat neotenous face, black hair light pale skin. The main thing is I'm a healthy weight (17.5 > 18% bodyfat) and not really ugly in the face/skull... I don't think. I'm not an "ugly bloke" like say Toby Jones but nor am I anyway near the likes of the Jessie Pavelka's or Rav Wilding's of this world.

Anyway, my experiences have been pretty depressing with online dating. My reply rate is probably under 1%. That is for every 100 average women of healthy weights I send a message to, maybe just 1 has the courtesy to reply back (probably more like 1 in 150). This tends to lead to nowhere because I feel they are often rude, standoffish or are just leading me on to bolster their ego. There is no "Game" to win these women over, they aren't pets than be 'tricked' into liking you, they simply have better looking guys holing them up from another browser. I never get messaged from a healthy weight woman, that is they never contact me first. On those rare occasions when a woman does contact me first (about one every 2 months I'm active) they are always very overweight women, i.e. 175lbs+, 200lbs, 250lbs. They dangle me a carrot, but big women/BBW is just not my thing and I don't message them back.

I think I know what is going on in a nutshell. For a start there is perhaps only 18 female profiles per 50 male profiles on most -- if not all-- dating sites. Then we could say that at least half of those 18 females are too overfat for the majority of men like myself, so we have about 8 or 9 healthy weight female profiles created per 50 male profiles created.

So any healthy weight/slim woman with an average face (or even below average face) gets inundated with hundreds of prospective suitors a month in her inbox. Women of healthy weights know they can use their healthy bodies as 'bait' (with seductive full body pics) to lure a male of higher genetic worth than herself (i.e. better looking than her) in outright lieu of ignoring, rejecting or even abusing average men of healthy weights in her own objective league.

So. No single healthy weight women in my real world (they are all taken) and online dating makes me feel like worthless ugly s**t.

Any guys going through the same stuff?

Imagine that 90% of men suddenly become shorter than all women.
I am sure then most women would compete fiercely over the remaining 10% and would express frustration maybe even worse than the OP.