I have a very social job and a husband who does not (so he likes talking when I get home), and I used to go into shutdown every day, around lunchtime or end of the work day. For years. For a few months now, I've managed to avoid this pretty consistently.
A few things have helped me:
1. Meditation. I've written some other posts on this, but basically ten minutes a day has taught me how to center myself whenever I get too stressed, and this gives my brain a mini time-out from real life. I even attended an event with thousands of people and managed to do OK for several hours! I use Headspace (https://www.headspace.com/how-it-works), but any meditation program would be as effective (uh, except maybe Transcendental Meditation, which has a totally different effect on the brain, according to the PubMed research I've seen). It takes about two months for it to feel natural, but then it's like you can create a happy place in your brain instantly and wipe out the stress. It's not actually magic, but it's good for dealing with the world when you can't get away.
2. I DON'T MAKE EYE CONTACT, BUT NO ONE CAN TELL. This is my secret weapon. I unfocus my eyes so that I'm looking at a blurry face, and then just look near where the eyes are. I wear glasses (I'm mildly nearsighted) and I just take them off in face-to-face conversations altogether. I did this for several weeks while working closely with some colleagues in lots and lots of meetings and finally told them what I had been doing. THEY HAD NO IDEA. They know I'm autistic, so I felt safe telling them. Since then, I've been doing this all day at work and is seems NO ONE can tell. The only exception is my husband -- daily, I make a point of looking into his eyes after dinner, when I've had a glass of wine. It's important for the relationship to do this, and I have it on my daily checklist.
3. I'm on a ketogenic diet. Don't know why, but my ability to understand people and deal with them, like, disappears when I have a normal, carbohydrate-based diet. When I am on a fat-based diet, I suddenly can think clearer about people and can care about them easier. Empathy is easier, I guess. I DON'T KNOW WHY. To my knowledge, there has been zero research on this, and I may be an anomaly or may not be observing myself properly. But about a year of experience bears this out. Oh, and the fat I run on HAS to be animal fat, preferably cream. I know it sounds insane, but I'm just telling it like I see it. I tried every other fat first (I thought casein was messing me up. Turns out it wasn't.). My hypothesis is that the pseudo opioids in the dairy may be a factor, but I have no way to really test this at all.
4. Not required, but really nice: I integrated drawing into my every day. I attend and lead a lot of meetings, and I carry a big clipboard with a couple markers, and use Sketchnote (http://rohdesign.com/sketchnotes/) techniques to take down my notes. I also draw to explain a point when my mind is just giving me images and metaphors and I have to quickly get my point across: I use Bikablo (http://bikablo.kommunikationslotsen.de/en/) to quickly convey visual concepts. Drawing calms me immensely, and this way it's work-related so people don't think I'm not paying attention.
Anyway, I don't know if these techniques would work for anyone else, but man, do they work for me. I dropped all my stims (spinning ring, Sculpey clay, etc.).
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Diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder 19 June 2015.
09 Mar 2017, 6:17 pm
