When they find someone... again

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Do you ever feel kind of annoyed when someone who's already been in a long time relationship or married before finds someone else?

You've already had a turn. Why are you taking one of the few single people our age off the market?

Annoyed? No. But I find it inconceivable that some people can so quickly start a new relationship after just wrapping up their prior long-term relationship. They make it seem effortless.

Yeah annoyed isn't the right word.

I'm not irritated with them. I'm irritated with myself. I can't even find one person.

Because people who were in long term relationships are more likely to be more attractive than us.

And those who are more attractive than us, are more likely to beat us (in having a new partner) every time.

There are those who also seeking while they are 'within a relationship' planning to abandon the current partner completely once they find the better one, usually behind the partner's back. So they look as if they jumped from one relationship to another instantly but in fact they were dating the new one for a while.

This tactic is mostly common among the non-working w.... *cough* I mean people, who live financially-wise dependent on their m... *cough* I mean on their partners, and once the deal is closed with the new one, they do the switch move - you know in order for them not to end up homeless or without any income source for some period.

There are also people who realize the relationship they were in was unhealthy, so they end it...move on, and find someone else who is better relationship material.

This can be a rebound effect. Its very likely to develop mental health problems after experiencing issues. Forgetting about yourself, like loving yourself is not healthy. I know few people in my life stayed single after their long term relationships. So they handle it pretty well. It is also a same when my friends told me they used to have short term (<2 years) meaningless relationships. They also stayed single for rest of their 20s.

Mental health is very important. Why go for another relationship right away after your terrible experiences forgetting about your own health? That is not good.

Yup rebounds are not a good idea.

This little train of thought was inspired by someone who has been single a couple of years before finding someone else. This is no rebound.

I'm actually happy for them. Ive got good feelings about this one working out long term.

A couple of years? Huh, that's quite a while. My former next-door neighbor got cheated on by her husband. She was considering letting it slide until she discovered that it wasn't a one-off thing, so that was the end of that.

A month later she found a new partner. I don't understand how that's even possible, frankly. At this point, even getting into a shallow fling seems well beyond anything I'll ever be capable of. It's amazing that people can find partners so easily.

I dunno. I guess getting into relationships requires some kind of unfathomable "x-factor" that people either have or don't have. EVERY single argument I see people make about what does and doesn't get you into relationships has countless real-life counterexamples. There's no strict rules like some people insist.

There are no time limit on that. I wish people stop focusing about time, place and who about their relationships and partners. It not worth it. Everybody have different times, it can be short as 1 year and others can be five years. Although, being just out of a relationship into another in short-term is not a limit what I am talking about. Think inside a square, the mentality of yourself. You have to think about what you have in your life, take care of your health, manage them and adjust. It involves reviewing your thoughts and that.

Jumping into another relationship in such short time it doesn't have enough time to get yourself adjusted and review your thoughts and issues. It reduces alleviation on your health and wellbeing. That why there are lot of single people out there being responsible about themselves, but unfortunately some just still doing casual sex partnerships without strings attached. This can be another, but new problem.

Yup, totally agree

How did she find her new man? Online or offline?
If online then her x-factor should be called a XX-factor, she simply signs up in some dating site, waits for few days, and scrolls her inbox among literally the hundreds of messages she gets, she ignores the most, she chooses some dates and she eventually picks one. And that's it, there's not much of a mysterious x-factor there. Now the guy who got chosen by her, is the one who might have this unknown and unclear x-factor....

Now of course, for the ladies who refuse use any kind of dating sites and want to remain things offline only, they would need this mysterious x-factor as much as guys. I bet this x-factor is pretty much related to social skills and the ability to always meet and know new people.

Offline through friends. Also a single mum, your nemesis.

well, they might take one of the single people your age off the market, but they also place a new one in there: they were married/paired up before, and not anymore.
The total number of single men and women remains the same (except if one of the pair was in a heterosexual relationship and enters a gay one, or where one of the two dies, but those situations are rare).

I am sometimes a bit annoyed by how easy it apparently is, but not becouse they empty the pool, becouse they dont.

I think it's the main reason. If they were with someone before then it's likely that there's someone else who might like them.

Yes, it seems you are are either seen attractive by the majority of the opposite sex of certain culture, or you're not.

This what the dating sites experiments are proving.

But it doesn't mean that others will never find love. It just means that some people are an "acquired taste" and have to work more to find someone.

People like to deny this and imagine that we all have unique requirements for a partner. It makes us feel special.