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When they find someone... again

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314pe
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14 Mar 2017, 5:26 am

But it doesn't mean that others will never find love. It just means that some people are an "acquired taste" and have to work more to find someone.

People like to deny this and imagine that we all have unique requirements for a partner. It makes us feel special.



rdos
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14 Mar 2017, 6:05 am

izzeme wrote:
well, they might take one of the single people your age off the market, but they also place a new one in there: they were married/paired up before, and not anymore.
The total number of single men and women remains the same (except if one of the pair was in a heterosexual relationship and enters a gay one, or where one of the two dies, but those situations are rare).


Could also be somebody that becomes polyamory. They would steal one of your potential partners. :mrgreen:

Also, if one in the pair quickly finds a new partner, but the other doesn't, then the market will also change.



Sabreclaw
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14 Mar 2017, 9:25 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Sabreclaw wrote:
hurtloam wrote:
Yup rebounds are not a good idea.

This little train of thought was inspired by someone who has been single a couple of years before finding someone else. This is no rebound.

I'm actually happy for them. Ive got good feelings about this one working out long term.


A couple of years? Huh, that's quite a while. My former next-door neighbor got cheated on by her husband. She was considering letting it slide until she discovered that it wasn't a one-off thing, so that was the end of that.

A month later she found a new partner. I don't understand how that's even possible, frankly. At this point, even getting into a shallow fling seems well beyond anything I'll ever be capable of. It's amazing that people can find partners so easily.

I dunno. I guess getting into relationships requires some kind of unfathomable "x-factor" that people either have or don't have. EVERY single argument I see people make about what does and doesn't get you into relationships has countless real-life counterexamples. There's no strict rules like some people insist.


How did she find her new man? Online or offline?
If online then her x-factor should be called a XX-factor, she simply signs up in some dating site, waits for few days, and scrolls her inbox among literally the hundreds of messages she gets, she ignores the most, she chooses some dates and she eventually picks one. And that's it, there's not much of a mysterious x-factor there. Now the guy who got chosen by her, is the one who might have this unknown and unclear x-factor....

Now of course, for the ladies who refuse use any kind of dating sites and want to remain things offline only, they would need this mysterious x-factor as much as guys. I bet this x-factor is pretty much related to social skills and the ability to always meet and know new people.


Refuse to? You make it sound as though that's a small group of people. Maybe things are different where you live, but I don't know a single person who met their partner online. Online dating is frowned upon around here.



The_Face_of_Boo
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15 Mar 2017, 2:59 am

Sabreclaw wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Sabreclaw wrote:
hurtloam wrote:
Yup rebounds are not a good idea.

This little train of thought was inspired by someone who has been single a couple of years before finding someone else. This is no rebound.

I'm actually happy for them. Ive got good feelings about this one working out long term.


A couple of years? Huh, that's quite a while. My former next-door neighbor got cheated on by her husband. She was considering letting it slide until she discovered that it wasn't a one-off thing, so that was the end of that.

A month later she found a new partner. I don't understand how that's even possible, frankly. At this point, even getting into a shallow fling seems well beyond anything I'll ever be capable of. It's amazing that people can find partners so easily.

I dunno. I guess getting into relationships requires some kind of unfathomable "x-factor" that people either have or don't have. EVERY single argument I see people make about what does and doesn't get you into relationships has countless real-life counterexamples. There's no strict rules like some people insist.


How did she find her new man? Online or offline?
If online then her x-factor should be called a XX-factor, she simply signs up in some dating site, waits for few days, and scrolls her inbox among literally the hundreds of messages she gets, she ignores the most, she chooses some dates and she eventually picks one. And that's it, there's not much of a mysterious x-factor there. Now the guy who got chosen by her, is the one who might have this unknown and unclear x-factor....

Now of course, for the ladies who refuse use any kind of dating sites and want to remain things offline only, they would need this mysterious x-factor as much as guys. I bet this x-factor is pretty much related to social skills and the ability to always meet and know new people.


Refuse to? You make it sound as though that's a small group of people. Maybe things are different where you live, but I don't know a single person who met their partner online. Online dating is frowned upon around here.


It's a not a small group - but yeah, you are right, online dating is a last resort.