Corny wrote:
This is a big problem that I am so worried about. This fall I'm planning on going to college. But I won't be able to see my girlfriend since she's still in high school for 2 more years. And I'm just leaving and going to college. I'll be far away from her and still have feelings for her. But then at college I fall for another girl and start dating her and stuff. But I still have feelings for my girlfriend in high school still. I am so worried something like that is going too happen. And I won't be able to see my girl in high school still while in college. Is it wrong that I would go with another girl that I see at college far away while I still love my current girlfriend a lot?
(This hasn't happened yet. But worried it will.)
I didn't read through the entire thread, so my apologies if this is a little late:
*sigh*
I went through the exact same thing. Trust me, break up with your hs gf. It's gonna suck. But you're going to be better off.
Don't bother confessing your cheating (if that happened, I'm not saying it did). Plan a full day on a Saturday. Take her to the zoo, park, something. Have a nice picnic, and at some point get some ice cream if you can. Don't beat around the bush, just say that circumstances have changed and you can't be with her anymore. If you do love her, say so, and let her know it's simply not going to work out. It's just too much. She will find someone who can do better, love her more, and be more the man she truly deserves. Take a few minutes, shed all the tears you need to, and cut off all contact for a while.
The tricky part is this is going to take some time, so clear off your entire Saturday. She may just want to go home and deal with it on her own, she may want a goodbye kiss, a lot of hugging and stuff, whatever. But you deal with it and take as much time as you need to. At the end of the day, it doesn't matter. Either way it's over.
DO NOT SEE HER AGAIN until you can do so on casual, friendly terms. The younger you are, the longer it takes, and I'd say that's going to take no less than a year. Forget her, or it's going to drag out and end up making you miserable.
In my experience, dating high school girls in general is just wrong. I've done that twice. I figured the second time I did it I wouldn't have the same problem because the first girl (I'd dated her since, like, 9th grade or something) ended up being very manipulative and abusive. The second girl was more the gold-digger type, always needing to be entertained. That was also a strictly LDR kinda thing, and once the time and money ran out, she drifted away elsewhere. Soon after we started dating she dropped out of high school, we tried again briefly when she eventually did start college, but there were just too many guys interested in her and closer to her than I could be. Nobody can compete with that.
Thing is, people need people who are THERE. I've strung along girls, I've cheated--and been cheated on... Some people are cut out for LDR commitments. I'm not one of those people. Chances are, though, if you're not cheating, she is. Or if she's not, you are. And it's just a lot of stress during your school years, both high school and college, that you really don't need. Just don't do it.
17 Mar 2017, 9:11 am
