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MSBKyle
Deinonychus
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Joined: 12 Aug 2014
Age: 30
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Location: Kent, Ohio

10 Apr 2017, 12:06 am

I have always wondered this. How do people figure out what they want to do with their lives, how to get jobs, how to manage money, how to build relationships, how to be independent, how to cope with change, how to cope with aging, how to deal with loss, how to be constantly responsible, how to make the right decisions, and much more. Life is hard. I sure haven't figured out how to do a lot of stuff that a typical person my age would know. I feel like a child trapped in an adult body. I've never figured out how to grow up and be an independent adult. There is so much that I don't know how to do that I should probably know how to do. I don't know how anyone else learns or know how to do certain things.



kitesandtrainsandcats
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Joined: 6 May 2016
Age: 60
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10 Apr 2017, 1:49 am

I don't know how to detail the 'how to'. I do know it is not all instinctive, a lot has to be learned. And in order to be learned it has to be taught by someone, somewhere.


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Kiprobalhato
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Joined: 25 Mar 2014
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10 Apr 2017, 3:05 am

there is usually some crying involved.

what convinces you, that those other people your age see to have it sorted out?

it is often easier to rule out what you don't want to do, in terms of job, career or major, than to decide what you do. after working as a dishwasher for 5 months, i am thoroughly convinced that i DON'T want to do that for the rest of my life.

it was not great, i got cut quite a few times, but it taught me a great deal of indispensable lessons, such as having a work ethic, how to communicate with coworkers, managing time, etc etc. in that sense, it was one of my most valuable experiences.

one learns by doing, usually. as a kid, i thought adults (hell, people my current age) had it all figured out, knew it all and i was in a rush to grow up. i....i don't think i would have been in such a hurry, if i knew it was all going to be ad libbed....

despite being guilty of it myself, it must be harmful to affix ones self worth to the realization of something. because in my experience, i eventually do obtain/achieve that thing, and then i think....."now what???"


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FeardyBase
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
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Joined: 24 Mar 2017
Age: 59
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Posts: 69
Location: UK

10 Apr 2017, 10:39 pm

By making errors, and doing your best to correct them and live with the consequences.
It's a pretty futile losing game.. nobody gets out alive anyway.



Windigo
Raven
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Joined: 16 Oct 2015
Age: 36
Posts: 105
Location: Netherlands

11 Apr 2017, 10:11 am

I get through life one day at a time.

Seriously, I have stopped looking backward or forward. I live in the moment.

I have a chronic illness that almost killed me twice, that made me very appreciative of being alive on it's own and made me realize worrying about either the past or the future is futile. So I live in the here and now. I also practise mindfullness and meditation to help me keep this state of mind and for me it works.

I am happy and whatever comes my way will come.


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Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 152 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 64 of 200