So... this is kind of a weird situation.

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rats_and_cats
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03 May 2017, 2:17 pm

I was on another social media site and somebody said they're feeling suicidal and really need to talk to someone. I started chatting with them online. And he felt better after talking to me, but he wants to be friends and I don't think that's gonna work out for several reasons.
1. he lives in Sweden and I live in America
2. he's in middle school and I'm in college
3. he refuses to seek professional help
4. he self harms which is beyond my ability to talk about because I have no experience with it
5. I have my own mental health issues and I don't have the energy to play counselor
I have no idea what to do. I don't want to be the only person responsible for this kid's mental health because he refuses to talk to anyone else, not even his parents. He says he's too scared to seek professional help but he's not nearly as worried about talking to a stranger on the Internet? I felt like I couldn't say no to being friends with him because he was considering suicide. I think I might have gotten myself into a toxic friendship. He seems to benefit from having someone to talk to but it's a drain on my own mental health and he needs more help than just a friend. And he needs friends his own age from his own country.
There is every possibility he could be lying and I could be talking with a creepy stranger who wants to know where I live, but I'm not sure how to tell if that's the case.



ZachGoodwin
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03 May 2017, 4:30 pm

Politely reject the offer and focus on something else.



Shahunshah
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03 May 2017, 4:41 pm

People in that situations often want friends. I know that from talking to a few people in that situation. If you do not do that you risk making that person feel rejected and even worse as they can't reach out to those around them. You don't have to be that person's constant therapist and you can set guidelines, but please consider it maybe talk to him every now and then. You can make a world of difference. Sometimes it can feel hard being friends with someone who has so much baggage, but it doesn't have to be like that 100% of the time, you can try talking about other things, see what you two have in common. You might be able to persuade him into getting help, if he knows it can work for you then why not him.



rats_and_cats
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07 May 2017, 1:22 am

I told him again that he needs friends his own age from his own country and that he needs to get help because I'm worried about his self harming. I said I'll listen if he wants to vent or something, but I am not a replacement for a therapist and if he doesn't see one soon he could have bigger problems in the future. That was a couple days ago. I haven't heard from him since.



AshtenS
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07 May 2017, 8:02 am

Try finding things in common and talking about that instead. As you said, its not your job to be his therapist but there's nothing wrong with being his friend. Getting his mind off of matters might help him more in the long run and having a friend might help open him up to getting more friends.



rats_and_cats
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12 May 2017, 11:09 am

Seems like he moved on to someone else. He got mad that I wasn't there for a day or two because I was moving (after I told him several times I am busy and I live in a different time zone), and I couldn't see the picture very well before it disappeared but he might have been threatening suicide. Then he sent me another message saying he's talking to somebody else now. Good, maybe they will know what to do. Maybe he's been doing this for a while, and it's all for attention.