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rats_and_cats
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12 May 2017, 10:29 am

I collect a lot of things: pins (which I display on a framed cloth and they don't take up much space so they are not the main problem), blind bag minifigures (though I've lost interest now), Renaissance Faire dragon statues (small, and I don't go to the faire that often), books and plushes (these are a big part of my problem, they take up a lot of space and I have to cram them into boxes and some of my shelves are going to break under the weight of the books), and momentos for scrapbooks that will probably never be completed.
I need to go through all my stuff and really think about what should go. I do regularly go through my books and plushes, but I feel like I'm not making progress. And it doesn't help that my mom is not very clear about where to put things that we don't want anymore, and anything I tell her to put in the donate pile somehow finds its way back to my room. And she tells me not to give away a lot of my things like old school reading list books, because my siblings might need them when they're older. She also doesn't want me to throw away things like my graduation gown, but she doesn't want it either. It's super cheap fabric that could be ruined just by being wet.
I keep a lot of old notebooks that are half-filled and, let's be honest, I'm never going to fill them anyway because I prefer typing. I do want to keep some notebooks for sketching and if I'm somewhere without my computer when inspiration strikes. I think my next step will be to digitize the written pages I want to save and throw the notebooks away, but I feel guilty about contributing to landfills.
When I talk about decluttering my room, Mom always says that I should focus on cleaning it first. But that's the problem: I have so much crap I don't have room for it so it ends up piled everywhere! And without her help, I can't figure out what to do with everything! She says she could just pack some things away, but the basement is filled with boxes of that kind of stuff, all our old artwork and everything.
I have no idea what I'm saying here. The mess is causing me a lot of anxiety and I'm not sure what to do. Do I need to go to therapy? Because I'm not sure if I can afford that.



kraftiekortie
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12 May 2017, 8:08 pm

You're a hoarder if you just can't get rid of useless things.

Hoarders frequently can't get rid of their paper plates and other sorts of junk, too.

Saying this, you should really try to go through your stuff and really determine what is "useful," and what needs to be thrown away. You might have to set aside a whole day or two.



Raleigh
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12 May 2017, 10:01 pm

1) Put all the stuff you don't want in big garbage bags.
2) seal the garbage bags tightly.
3) immediately call a charity shop that picks up donations to come and pick them up.

You have to declutter before you can clean - your mum's wrong about that.

If you pick up an object and it is not useful or joyful to you, there's no reason to keep it.
You don't have to keep 'sentimental' items or gifts from your great aunt or whatever if they don't give you joy.
Also, don't keep things in the off chance someone else might use them.
They can find their own things if it's that important to them (it probably won't be).
Tear the pages out of the notebooks you want to keep and put the rest in recycling.
Or you can use large clips to clip together the paper into your own recycled notebooks.
And really, if you have to 'cram things into boxes' so you can't even see them, what's the point of having them?

You could put out a pile to sell, but I think it's better to give things away.
Selling takes time and you rarely make much from it.
There's more joy in giving.

Really, YOU need to take charge of this situation.
Bringing other people into it, especially if they're intent on you keeping things, will only derail your plans.
Do you really need your mother's input?


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rats_and_cats
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12 May 2017, 10:26 pm

I never asked for my mother's input. But because I live in her house, I guess I have to live by her rules.And the plushes that I have to cram into boxes, are only because all the other crap is taking up so much space. I still find joy in them, and I'm trying to find a way to display them properly.

However, I do appreciate the advice. Tomorrow I'm going to start sorting things.



Raleigh
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12 May 2017, 10:37 pm

You said you needed her to help you decide what to do with things.
Is that not input?
Must have misunderstood.


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arielhawksquill
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13 May 2017, 8:03 am

You are not a hoarder, although your mother might be. You have just not worked out a system for the ecology of stuff in your life.

My advice: get one of those mesh hammocks to hang your plushes from the ceiling, out of the way but where you can still see them. Cull all of the books and other media you don't want to read again and take them to sell (Half Price Books if you have them where you are; otherwise look at the web pages of your local used bookstores for their buying guidelines and hours.) Put your collection of minifigs up on Ebay as a single lot priced slightly lower than the next comparable one to sell them quickly, all at once, with one trip to the post office; that special interest is never coming back.

Tear or cut all the used pages out of your notebooks and put them in a file folder near your computer to digitize; now you have a stack of empty notebooks to use (put one in each bag you carry so you'll always have one.) Create ONE box for the mementos, graduation gown, and other souvenirs you are supposed to be sentimental about.

When a mother says "cleaning", she means to remove all eating utensils from your room to the kitchen, throw all trash into the wastebasket and carry it to the garbage can, put all dirty laundry in the basket/hamper and take it to the washing machine, change your linens and make up your bed, and vacuum the floor. Having clutter should not impede you from doing these things. If it does, you should prioritize removing that particular clutter first.