Do you have anyone in your life who you can truly confide in
I'm curious about other aspies social/relationship situations. Loneliness and feelings of alienation/isolation are common threads in aspie life. For myself, I have some loving family members and a couple of "friends" but none of them are true confidants in the sense that I can just be myself without putting up any guards because of my aspieness. Do you have anyone you can completely let your guard down with in your life?
I really advise that you find someone locally to confide in rather than online. Online people are going to more than likely be passive rather than focus on the issues you have. I know the outside can be terrifying, but take the steps to go outside and meet new people you can't find on your computer.
Try also to strengthen your relationship with your family even though that can be difficult. For example, I never wanted to in my life be the mommy and daddy issues kid, so what I did was I kept on exercising and I focused on working hard without any complaint even though I am only human.
for the past 6 months, got a counselor. once a week for one hour. she is much better than all the other ones I have had, thus far. she ain't obsessed with mandated reporter duties. she is professional. she did not remark on my appearance, walking gait, etc. she did not give me syrupy condescending compliments. the insurance pays for 6 more months with her. once every 2 weeks. one hour each. then no more interaction. feel so much better after getting her.
in the past, could not "truly confide in" anyone. precious lil "friends" betrayed me. there were some exceptions, but that was not much interaction and not much depth of interaction. plenty of former precious lil "friends" ended up homophobic. some of them made comments about my appearance. some of them just had big egos.
Try also to strengthen your relationship with your family even though that can be difficult. For example, I never wanted to in my life be the mommy and daddy issues kid, so what I did was I kept on exercising and I focused on working hard without any complaint even though I am only human.
My relationships with my family are fine, and I can choose my own friends, thanks--you don't know my issues. Focus on yourself.
I have my mother, other than her there is no one I can confide in; I've no friends, no true acquaintances, and none of my co-workers or other relatives are particularly close. It often makes me feel very lonely, especially as years go on.
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clarity of thought before rashness of action
Interesting Raven, because I have the same thing with my only sibling. He's a little more obvious about my oddness though. He doesn't even try to hide how strange he finds me to be. A lot of head shaking or sighing when I talk about things or perspectives of things that I find interesting or whatever. In some ways, we're like any two close siblings, but when I really talk about being me, he sighs and gets noticibly frustrated. So even with my brother, I put myself in "check" the same way I do with the rest of the NT world.
I think I understand. There's a certain type of privacy that you can have when the person you're communicating with lives far away. You're not experiencing the same social interaction that you do if they're someone who lives in your town and knows the same people. Couple that with typing your words out and having time to process what the other person is tryin to communicate with you, and the whole nature of the relationship is different. It really is more like letter writing. I've had some good interaction of this kind with people online.
Yes, I can really be myself in front of my family. Also I can confide in my family, friends and a few people at work. Oh, and my boyfriend too.
Sometimes I find men a bit harder than women to confide in though, because men seem to see things from a logical point of view, where as women see things from an emotional point of view.
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Female
Try also to strengthen your relationship with your family even though that can be difficult. For example, I never wanted to in my life be the mommy and daddy issues kid, so what I did was I kept on exercising and I focused on working hard without any complaint even though I am only human.
My relationships with my family are fine, and I can choose my own friends, thanks--you don't know my issues. Focus on yourself.
I agree, I do not know your issues, and I do not know how to solve your issues. I will go ahead and focus on my own issues. I had no idea that my comment turned out to be rude. I thought that my comment looked like a helping response to the questions asked in this thread, and not an annoyance. Sorry for the mean comment.
Yeah. I relate a lot. My mother, being a mother, reacts better to me than anyone else in the world now that my fathers gone. She allows me to be myself without judgement for the most part. But even my mother doesn't understand the rigidity of my ideas on certain issues...and regardless of how important these issues are to me and however much exposition I give, she just can not understand some of my core beliefs. Yup, even my mom thinks I'm screwy.
most dangerous thing to do, it allows psychopaths to hook into that, everytime
or no, no one wants to know, listen
some want to hear you out if there's some gossip to spread, some turn around while you're answerring their inquiry
really, decency drops instantly when you're judged belower,
and you're sure judged belower by the low on QIs, instantly, its weird but a dangerous thing, too
- seriously, some spent time to come see you, after some (just one or two seconds) serious talk, there's only priority to not let you talk no more
listened all my life, heard everything hundreds of times till it got f-ing boring, but apparently it's never your turn
people ask for things they don't even want to hear you say anything about, really
and get angry, if you dare say more than three words they haven't asked for
ears are a burden in the human world,
and talking is the weapon to shut the ears, that's why it's used aggressively
assaulting the ears while shutting its own, who needs weapons of mass destruction?
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