Hypothesis: Obsessive thoughts and spiritual connections.

Post Reply New Topic

So what is really the evolutionary reason for neurodiverse people obsessing about their loved one?

One possible reason might be to form strong attachments, but then surely, regular sex must be far more effective in achieving that.

A better reason might be to form a spiritual connection, which then can be used to exchange things at a distance without having to meet up. Surely, being able to communicate at a distance is far more effective than always having to meet in person. It's similar to today's Internet, which also is far more effective than people meeting for real.

Now, some people might claim that you cannot communicate like that, but since I've experienced this myself, I actually know that it works.

You might be right.

Just a little nitpick: Why assume there really is an evolutionary reason? That question seems loaded to me. Also, the reason people make those claims is that it's not observable, you are just one person, and your evidence is purely anecdotal.

Personally, I think possibly you're onto something. The issue is the way you've presented it makes it easily dismissive by more "scientific" people. "Science" in its present formulation doesn't really allow for the kinds if things you're bringing up here.

Thinking obsessively about something can create the same neurochemicals and hormones in your body as if it were actually happening, which feels like a "spiritual connection"; but in reality, the person about whom you are obsessing is not feeling the same thing. In order to experience an autistic's love, neutotypicals need to have it actually expressed through words and actions.

I think an absolute requirement for a spiritual connection to form is that it is mutual. That also means that obsessing about somebody is not enough for a spiritual connection to form, but a spiritual connection cannot form in the absence of obsessing.

A good scientific experiment, that more people should do, is that both people involved write down what they feel and experience. You could also have an online communication channel where you exchange the information in some way.



That's true. The neurotypical world is based on verbal expression, so most neurotypical people are unable to connect spiritually at all. Most meditation techniques are based on silence and self-contemplation, and silence is something NTs are afraid of, especially when they are in groups.

Because courtship is innate and species-typical, which means that if NDs have a different courtship (and different relationship preferences), then they must be a different species (or have inherited courtship from another species). And courtship always has evolutionary reasons.

Yes, but what does that have to do with spiritual connectedness? You're having to assume something that needs to be proven, or we need to define "spirit" in physical, tangible terms.

Of course, you could reframe your hypothesis in Jungian terms... Connectedness wouldn't necessarily be "spiritual," strictly speaking, but rather be something facilitated by the collective consciousness.

True. I don't think there is a really useful term for it, and the best I've come up with is spiritual connectedness. The definition should be easy: The ability to read each other's emotions, and possibly communicate other things without having information from the physical senses. Being at different places is a good setup where the physical senses cannot be used.



I'd rather not involve new age and collective consciousness. Too much pseudoscience there.

Also, my assumption is that this is something that works over the species barrier, which in fact can explain why autistics connect so easily with animals. It's most NTs that has lost this ability due to their fixation on language and verbal communication.

in terms of speciation we are just as human as NTs.
a divergent neural breed, would be a better description of what you are trying to mean.
i'm not convinced we are even as divergent as that, although it certainly feels like it a lot of the time.

i don't dismiss that your understanding of ND courtship and intimacy is true but i don't think there is one truth. it's probably more like a cluster of commonalities for ND love that aren't always or necessarily distinct from NT, and all human, traits.

saying most NTs can't connect with each other and other animals, spiritually or however, is not cool imo. haven't you heard some thick headed NTs call autistic people inhuman/robots/unempathetic/unfeeling/etc before? are you no better than these as*holes?

It's my working hypothesis that neurodiversity is the legacy of Neanderthal interbreeding, and because Neanderhal was a different species, that implies that neurodiverse traits actually are from a different species. The evolutionary framework to understand the peculiarities of neurodiverse traits, including courtship, then would be ice-age Eurasia and sparse populations, not larger tribes with overlapping territories in Africa.



The composition of traits is individual, which means people can have (and often have too) a mixture of ND and NT traits. One could also be diagnosed with ASD, but have a completely neurotypical relationship profile. So, it is not the intention to "push" that aspies all have ND courtship but to gather a better understanding of the ND courtship traits for people that actually have them.



It's kind of interesting that it is possible to view NDs as more spiritual and empathic than NTs, especially given that the diagnostic labels claim the reverse. Still, the facts are that NDs are more often into spiritual things, and more often dislike organised religion. And my hypothesis is that it is not only that they are more interested, but actually have more advanced abilities in that area and that this is connected with courtship and obsessive thoughts. That doesn't mean NTs are bad or stupid. They are just different, with other strengths.

I always thought that obsessing about a person could be part of the special interest tendency, but taken in a social direction.

I can relate to the idea of connectedness you describe and how that could have a spiritual element. If it's rare to connect with people in general, then being in a genuine loving relationship is going to feel quite significant. I think the deeper feelings relate to the tendency to focus on the real and concrete features of a love interest and not so much on the superficial distractions. The spiritual association could also come from sub conscious observations and the ASD tendency to notice patterns.

Last edited by Amity on 24 May 2017, 2:00 pm, edited 1 time in total.

BS.

Yeah I feel like I've had that other level sort of connection 3 times. I don't call it spiritual. I find it very chemical and emotional.

However, I am not entirely convinced that it wasn't just all in my head.

Do you think it could be sensitivity to another person's electrical energy? I think that it happens with other very emotional people. The ND men I've had this happen with were all very different from other people I've met. They have strong emotions in a deep caring way. They are sensitive types, not like regular stiff upper lip NT guys.

I am very emotional so I felt like their emotional vibes fed my emotional vibes and it created this kind of feedback loop. It was/is like the way magnets interact. That's how it feels to me.

You have to consider confirmation bias and the null hypothesis (what are the chances of this result if my hypothesis were false?).

I'm saying nothing would be done as an action at a distance. Just you feel something as a connection based on prior experiences.

Based on my own experiences, and online sharing with the girl, I'd say p < .00001 that this could be a coincidence. We simply had no way to know the things we first exchanged spiritually and then shared online.

Who says they obsess about their loved ones? I don't see much point in debating a moot point, and why would anything with ASD be "evolutionary" in nature when it's almost certainly not an evolutionary condition?

Your sample size is a bit small. If any data exists at all.