Frankly, some women on date are uber rude.
The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 41
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 32,890
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.
I have the feeling that you don't like to have a relationship after all, but maybe it's just me.
No, you're right, I think there's something wrong in me, I've became like Aspie1 somehow in this, I am afraid from serious commitments, and it's like I am just wanting to experience dating, hook-ups, sex, like a promiscuous teen or young adult - as if I want to "compensate" my whole totally date-less 20s. It's like I want to acquire enough relationship/sexual experience before I feel confident enough for a real serious relationship, but I know that I am not that young anymore and may never catch up.
Today i had an unexpected sex the whole day, and I went out for a dinner date again with the other girl: viewtopic.php?t=342913 --> Yes, she initiated, she complained about her fight with her boss and she wanted to go out to vent. And I am always the Ready-guy!.
Last time I kissed her on the cheek after escorting her to her apartment but she was like "In South Korea we don't do that on a first date, personal distance is sacred" but tonight I just stood still and she kissed me instead, ....so it's all good.
The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 41
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 32,890
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.
But did you ever stand up for yourself and clear up that it was rude of her to just invite her friend along without asking and assuming you could pay for her to and that she shouldn't do it again? If not then all you did was give her positive reinforcement for negative behavior...might want to convey that before the next date or she might make a habit of it.
I think that it wasn't the gf one, I have the feeling that it's a new date. But maybe I am wrong.
Tbh, the "gf one" did bring along a friend too; but it was only over a coffee...so ok.
It happened even with Lebanese dates before, it's actually a common thing for first dates here, I don't know why, maybe it's a safety measure - and I do know that the wing-woman evaluates the guy "objectively" and would give her opinion on him.
It's not the bringing friend part which annoyed me, but the ordering for fancy things part; and expecting the man to pay all; those two Indonesians were just too much.
The 7-languages girl doesn't even allow me to pay anything, she is very insisting on the splitting - good.
I mean, even when my boss invites me to lunch, I keep it to minimum, I wouldn't order a steak and wine with soup and dessert for instance.
I understand bringing a friend, however I would never expect my date to pay for my friend. In the U.S. when the food is being ordered, you can direct the server to split the bill. If, in the future, she shows up with a friend, perhaps you can direct the waiter to split the bill two ways so you only pay for yourself and your date, or even three ways so each person pays for themselves.
How do you think you'll acquire relationship experience if you don't want to get into one?
The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 41
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 32,890
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.
How do you think you'll acquire relationship experience if you don't want to get into one?
Via temporary ones of course; by 'real serious relationship' i mean something that ends up with marriage.
How do you think you'll acquire relationship experience if you don't want to get into one?
Via temporary ones of course; by 'real serious relationship' i mean something that ends up with marriage.
Were you going to be serious with that gf if she weren't going to leave the country? And will you keep seeing her if you get on other dates with the 7 languages girl?
The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 41
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 32,890
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.
How do you think you'll acquire relationship experience if you don't want to get into one?
Via temporary ones of course; by 'real serious relationship' i mean something that ends up with marriage.
Were you going to be serious with that gf if she weren't going to leave the country?
Umm...I don't think so.
Nope, I shouldn't.
Yup, I keep the dates, to coffee only. And I have found the younger, girls, they love to convert the coffee dates into lunches or dinner, and they get free meals and just walk off. Never again. So now when I say coffee, only they suddenly, appear to not be interested. Free loafers!
Bit of a sidenote, but Boo, have you read any Feynman? Specifically "Surely you're joking, Mr. Feyman?". The mans life is fascinating in plenty of ways, but the chapter on dating was awesome, and mildly related.
_________________
I'm bored out of my skull, let's play a different game. Let's pay a visit down below and cast the world in flame.
That's why in my final months of dating I refused to have a meal for a date. Starbucks was the most expensive place I was willing to go. I *did* treat my lady on date #2 though but only because I wanted to, not because I felt obligated to.
I once went on a date where after I paid the bill, she immediately got up, said "I-have-to-go-right-now-thanks-see-you" and when I got up and followed her out to see if she was okay, she ran down the busy downtown street like I was going to drug her. I've said it before and I will say it again. There is a usually a GOOD reason these women are on dating sites for months or years at a time.
Sweetleaf
Veteran
Joined: 6 Jan 2011
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 34,474
Location: Somewhere in Colorado
I once went on a date where after I paid the bill, she immediately got up, said "I-have-to-go-right-now-thanks-see-you" and when I got up and followed her out to see if she was okay, she ran down the busy downtown street like I was going to drug her. I've said it before and I will say it again. There is a usually a GOOD reason these women are on dating sites for months or years at a time.
I was on okcupid for years, and I cannot recall acting that way on dates. I did ditch one guy after he made me uncomfortable the second time we got together and just kind of rubbed me the wrong way...like he didn't even seem like the same person I met the first time. IDK you might be missing out if you just assume any women who's been on the site for months or years at a time is batsh*t crazy. It can also just take time to find a compatible person, and leaving it up and checking it from time to time is much more convenient than deleting it, then making a new one over and over.
_________________
We won't go back.
The girl who is leaving for Turkey in 9 months.....sounds really swell for you.
Sounds like somebody I wouldn't have minded having a whirl with
And she's intelligent, too!
They had this expression in the 1950s: "You've got it made in the shade!" It means the same thing as "you're in like Flynn."
That's very true but in my experience, the good profiles only stayed up for a few weeks. My wife only had hers up for about 4 weeks and that's only because I took 2 weeks to write her back. I certainly agree you should never automatically assume that someone on a dating site a long time is a bad match or crazy (I certainly wasn't!) but more often that not, in my experience a woman on there for than a couple of months is almost always one of the following:
* Too independent/emotionally unavailable (I dated one of them for a few months. Ugh.)
* World travelers who must have mounds of debt yet still want a family (who might try to fit you in her plans)
* Already married..... to her career
* Snotty, entitled attitude (usually under 30)
* Bitter and jaded, usually divorced (usually over 30)
* VERY long and specific laundry list that no human being could possibly meet
Still, I never automatically assumed any of these things, I only learned through years of painful experience.
The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 41
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 32,890
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.
Sweetleaft; as if I have proven it to you before; men outnumber women by at least 9 to 1 on dating sites.
Therefore women literally received hundreds and even thousands of advances within a year.
So of she can't find a good bf among this *tons* of options then frankly it's very likely that something is wrong with her.
Therefore women literally received hundreds and even thousands of advances within a year.
So of she can't find a good bf among this *tons* of options then frankly it's very likely that something is wrong with her.
but you must consider the quality of this contact – very few are serious or able to keep a conversation.
The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 41
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 32,890
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.
Therefore women literally received hundreds and even thousands of advances within a year.
So of she can't find a good bf among this *tons* of options then frankly it's very likely that something is wrong with her.
but you must consider the quality of this contact – very few are serious or able to keep a conversation.
Even the 10% of your contacts exceeds by far the contacts most guys have on dating sites. Let's say only 10% of the guys there are good and the rest are jerks.
I have created once a fake female profile in a dating site; I got 1400+ messages in a single week, a week! the 140 out of those is still too much!
Similar Topics | |
---|---|
Reasons women do not date us! |
15 Apr 2024, 4:05 pm |
Where do you go for a blind date or first date? |
04 Mar 2024, 5:57 pm |
When was the first time you got in trouble for being "rude"? |
08 Mar 2024, 8:07 am |
Am I too ugly to date? |
27 Feb 2024, 11:19 am |