I honestly feel like a broken toy waiting to either get fixed or destroyed. The psychiatric care in my country is basically just moving me around to different places. The only non-drug help I've got is from a psychiatrist who just told me to "accept uncertainty", and he simply ignored the problems that I described to him. I have been on SSRI with no effect; the psychiatrist who prescribed me this believed I was living with depression. When I talk to my parents about my condition and tell them that I want serious help for this, they either play down the seriousness of my problems, tell me that I have already received help but have not fully accepted and committed to it, blame my ASD, or they tell me that I am a hypochondriac and that there is no reason to reasonably believe that I have a mental disorder.
My parents are trying to make me live life as though nothing is seriously wrong with me, and even though they've told me that I'm going to relax this summer after studying intensely for the whole 2016-17 school season, they constantly demand me to be talkative in their presence and do stuff with them when they're not working. But just because I may look normal on the outside doesn't mean I don't have my constant personal struggles. But my parents are under the belief that if nothing is wrong on the outside, then so is the inside.
I asked my doctor for a new investigation into any specific health conditions, but she refused, saying that there is nothing more to investigate. This is honestly BS. I have never been thoroughly investigated, so why can she deny me that? How could they then give me the right treatment?
I would honestly have no regret taking my own life over my mental condition. Nobody is sincerely believing me or trying to help me and since everyone expects me to live a normal daily life, I feel I do not have enough time to help myself. My mental problems have been going on for at least 15 years and I want to end the suffering. What should I do?
06 Jun 2017, 4:21 pm
