I want to die in my sleep

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I feel so alone. How can I do stuff if I don't know want to do? Tomorrow is my mom's anniversary of her death, it been 4 years since she died, I'm still so lost without her. I can't talk to my grandmother, she don't understand that people grieve differently, she was brought up in tough times, she was hard on my mom & her siblings growing up. I'm getting depress & want to cry. Everyday life can get more harder, I don't know what to do, I don't know how to calm down all the time, when things are tooooo much, I feel like a ticking time bomb, I feel like jumping out of my skin. I HATE being so weak, I want to die, I want to die in my sleep.

(((Kitty)))

I lost my mom six years ago, and it still hurts. There is nothing I can say, but I hope you will accept hugs. I hope you can find someone to talk to who understands.

I second what IstominFan says.

{{{{{HUG}}}}}

Your grandmother sounds like a real piece of work. I've known people who have had "tough times"---but they are the nicest people in the world.

Thanks


My grandmother is nice, but she was the raise in the 1930s, she taught her children never look back at when we lost a love one. My mom was grieving her father when he died, she was probably secretly grieving. I love talking to her on the phone, it gotten bad, I'm uncomfortable talking to her now & I always can't wait to get off the phone with her. She thinks she have to be right, cuz she is the grandmother. I know people didn't know about Aspergers back then. It can be really hard to talk to her.

Thanks, do you believe in spirits? I can feel my mom's spirit, she helping me move on.