I feel so alone. How can I do stuff if I don't know want to do? Tomorrow is my mom's anniversary of her death, it been 4 years since she died, I'm still so lost without her. I can't talk to my grandmother, she don't understand that people grieve differently, she was brought up in tough times, she was hard on my mom & her siblings growing up. I'm getting depress & want to cry. Everyday life can get more harder, I don't know what to do, I don't know how to calm down all the time, when things are tooooo much, I feel like a ticking time bomb, I feel like jumping out of my skin. I HATE being so weak, I want to die, I want to die in my sleep.