Do aspies regret breaking up?

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AS12
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11 Jul 2017, 5:16 am

Would like to hear stories of guilt/regret post break up/divorce.



Raleigh
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11 Jul 2017, 5:18 am

^ why?


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TheSpectrum
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11 Jul 2017, 5:38 am

Nah I usually do that or the gf does that because it was the right thing to do.
Relieving if anything!

Also a sign that I haven't found the right person :?


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11 Jul 2017, 6:36 am

I was second guessing for a very long time, looking back now I am happy about the decisions I made.



AS12
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11 Jul 2017, 7:39 am

But still, doesn't it hurt?



Sweetleaf
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11 Jul 2017, 10:53 am

I am the one who has been broken up with usually, aside from my first relationship in highschool which I more broke up with him(I think mostly I just wasn't ready and didn't know what I wanted) I feel kinda bad about it since he didn't really want to break up and I am sure he was sad about it...but I don't really regret it. I think it was the best choice at the time.

But aside from that its been the guy who breaks up with me, or if it hasn't gotten to boyfriend/girlfriend status yet they've told me they don't think they want anything long term or one I met with once and then I never heard from him again. I take it he either met someone he liked better or just had no interest in dating me after hanging out with me for a while.

Truth be told sometimes I get a little worried of my current boyfriend losing interest, but pretty sure that just comes from those past experiences....as me and my boyfriend actually discuss the relationship and talk about how its going and any issues that need addressing. Not like past guys where that kind of conversation didn't really happen and then sooner or later they just broke it off.


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RetroGamer87
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12 Jul 2017, 6:17 am

No. I've never regretted any of the times I broke up with a girl. They were always times when she wasn't the right girl for me. I only regret the times when a girl broke up with me. Maybe I wasn't the right guy for them but it still hurts.


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izzeme
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12 Jul 2017, 8:00 am

I have nevee broken up with a partner yet; it was always them that broke up with me (so far)



AngelRho
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12 Jul 2017, 9:01 am

izzeme wrote:
I have nevee broken up with a partner yet; it was always them that broke up with me (so far)

It was always rare for me to break up with a girl. It was hard enough to get one in the first place and harder to keep her.

When I got older, I had to break up with my fiancée because she was abusive. I ended a fling with another girl. Left a girl for another girl who dumped me...TWICE. And left another girl because college was over and I went home.

In retrospect, the worst part of being dumped was lack of control or ability to end things on MY terms. I never regretted dumping a girl, except that one time. But we ended up getting married, so it's all good!



AS12
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12 Jul 2017, 9:13 am

AngelRho wrote:
izzeme wrote:
I have nevee broken up with a partner yet; it was always them that broke up with me (so far)

It was always rare for me to break up with a girl. It was hard enough to get one in the first place and harder to keep her.

When I got older, I had to break up with my fiancée because she was abusive. I ended a fling with another girl. Left a girl for another girl who dumped me...TWICE. And left another girl because college was over and I went home.

In retrospect, the worst part of being dumped was lack of control or ability to end things on MY terms. I never regretted dumping a girl, except that one time. But we ended up getting married, so it's all good!


You ended up marrying the girl you dumped earlier ?? That's interesting!



GiantHockeyFan
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12 Jul 2017, 11:15 am

The only regret I have about breaking up with my first girlfriend is that I didn't do it a lot sooner, like a year earlier when she had her first meltdown. I was so naïve I thought all women acted like that during their time of the month but I digress.

In short, I had the opposite problem: a combination of being loyal and fearful of never finding someone else led me to be in a very toxic relationship and stay in another which in hindsight was clearly one sided.



SpreadsheetMaster
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12 Jul 2017, 12:51 pm

I was only dumped once. I was devastated at the time but later was grateful for it because I was her doormat the whole time and was too desperate to be in a relationship to do anything about it.



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12 Jul 2017, 2:04 pm

I've never been dumped. When I feel the breakup coming I rush in to pull the trigger. Probably to protect my ego.
I don't think it's necessarily bad though, because I know some of the girls I've been with would probably find it very difficult to initiate the breakup. So in a sense I did us both a favor.



AngelRho
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12 Jul 2017, 3:17 pm

AS12 wrote:
AngelRho wrote:
izzeme wrote:
I have nevee broken up with a partner yet; it was always them that broke up with me (so far)

It was always rare for me to break up with a girl. It was hard enough to get one in the first place and harder to keep her.

When I got older, I had to break up with my fiancée because she was abusive. I ended a fling with another girl. Left a girl for another girl who dumped me...TWICE. And left another girl because college was over and I went home.

In retrospect, the worst part of being dumped was lack of control or ability to end things on MY terms. I never regretted dumping a girl, except that one time. But we ended up getting married, so it's all good!


You ended up marrying the girl you dumped earlier ?? That's interesting!

Yeah, peruse most of my posts and you can easily put it all together.

I dumped my fiancée for another girl, though I might have dumped her anyway. I'd had some history with her and thought it would work.

Well, I was wrong. She dumped me so she could have a guilt-free summer fling in Hawaii. Meanwhile, I started seeing one of the bridesmaids--or WOULD have been bridesmaid. lol Things got SERIOUS. FAST. Then other girl shows back up, so we broke up and got back together with her.

Things were even worse the second time around. And would you believe the bridesmaid was still waiting on me?

So we were together for few months when I left her AGAIN for grad school. We tried the LDR thing. We sucked at it. But we were always best friends, always hanging out when we could.

So I came back home looking for a job. She'd been with me every step of the way. So halfway into my first gig, she drops THE ultimatum on me: put a ring on it OR ELSE. I asked her to marry me, but she was still really pissed. I finally got a yes out her, but since it was, y'know, kinda sudden, I wasn't able to do it the "right" way. So we got out of the bathtub and went to the jewelry store. I proposed to her again, did the kneeling thing, and it was "official." We were good for a few months until she ran off to Mexico for the summer.

The gig didn't work out so I moved when my contract ran out. She moved to my town when she got back, got a job, and we got married soon after that. We've been together ever since, 3 kids, the house, and the works. We're doing pretty good some 11 years later!



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13 Jul 2017, 11:50 am

It's hard to get to the point of breaking up because I'm willing to put up with a lot and I can't imagine not having the person because I'm used to them, they become a part of my routine. When I do break up, it means I'm totally over them and I want nothing to do with them. I'm relieved and happy for them to go away and I hope to never hear from them again. They make me sick and I do not miss anything about them and there is no chance of us getting back together, so they can just F-off. :skull:



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13 Jul 2017, 12:46 pm

I just get crunched into place.


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