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Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

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Joined: 16 Dec 2013
Gender: Female
Posts: 150
Location: Arrakis

14 Jul 2017, 8:25 pm

A little bit of background. Diagnosed with GID 20 years ago, MtF - now 13/14 years post-op, and Asperger's diagnosis approx. 5 years ago. Always been a very solitary self-reliant person. Never felt a need for people in my life. Much preferred aeroplanes, computers, etc. Trained as avionics eng, commercial pilot and subsequently computer eng - h/w and then s/w, with most of this occurring well before I transitioned.

I've never had any libido to speak off - no drive to fulfil the biological imperative to procreate, and to be quite honest have tended to avoid physical contact with people - possible a function of being on the Spectrum.

Now well and truly retired, and have been corresponding with a retired airline pilot via forum I run. He is going to be passing through my locality in a month or so, and I have invited him to stay for a few days. Which he has accepted. I am aware that he was involved in an aircraft crash, and injured his back some years ago. In his last message he spoke of needing his back massaged to ease the pain instead of having to take painkillers regularly.

We have become quite good friends via emails, etc. and I am quite looking forward to his visit, but I find the thought of massaging his back quite abhorrent. Almost gut-turning. Is a dislike of physical contact common amongst those on the Spectrum ? And for anyone who experiences it how do they cope in a relationship?


Rev Mother Bene Gesserit

Sent from my PDP11/05 running RSX-11D via an ASR33 (TTY)


Joined: 18 May 2016
Age: 19
Gender: Female
Posts: 16
Location: Czech Republic

20 Aug 2017, 4:28 pm

Hi, I saw there were no replies ... hope you found your answers... it may be a little late, but yes, it is quite common to not desire any physical contact. Good way to cope with this may be occasional touching with a person you really trust - from sitting close or tap on hand when excited to light hugs - just go easy at first, step by step.