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Dman21
Emu Egg
Emu Egg

Joined: 18 Jul 2017
Age: 27
Gender: Male
Posts: 1
Location: Dallas, Tx

18 Jul 2017, 7:27 pm

Hi! Iam 21 years old who has aspergers and sometimes I wish I never had it. I have completed two years of community college and I will be transferring to Texas A&M University at Galveston in fall of 2017 to pursue a bachelors in marine biology. I want to study sharks and also be a conservasionst for them. I have a real hard time making and keeping friends. Some people would act like iam a bother, will talk to me for a while and I will never hear from that person again and people never let me be open in a group disscusion. Heck I even have girls that have no intrest in me even though I try to be nice and respectful. Most of the time I come across people who are real jerks towards me. I hope to meet some people who may be going to the University and also having the experience to meet people who may have the same issue.



Chronos
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Joined: 22 Apr 2010
Age: 44
Gender: Female
Posts: 8,698

24 Jul 2017, 3:34 am

Dman21 wrote:
Hi! Iam 21 years old who has aspergers and sometimes I wish I never had it. I have completed two years of community college and I will be transferring to Texas A&M University at Galveston in fall of 2017 to pursue a bachelors in marine biology. I want to study sharks and also be a conservasionst for them. I have a real hard time making and keeping friends. Some people would act like iam a bother, will talk to me for a while and I will never hear from that person again and people never let me be open in a group disscusion. Heck I even have girls that have no intrest in me even though I try to be nice and respectful. Most of the time I come across people who are real jerks towards me. I hope to meet some people who may be going to the University and also having the experience to meet people who may have the same issue.


Lots of people are nice and respectful. A person has to have more facets beyond nice and respectful to attract others. People will often be "jerks" to those who are socially different. I don't agree with treating those who are socially different poorly, of course, but I do understand the motivations behind it. Humans are a social species that relies on other humans for their survival. Because of this, social cohesion is extremely important at a fundamental level and humans seem to be programmed to be very bothered when someone does not conform to social standards. In many respects, socializing with another person is like doing a ballroom dance with them, in that if one person is not coordinated properly, the dance will not go smoothly. When people sense that someone is not on the same page as them socially, the interaction does not go smoothly.

If people are becoming annoyed with you, you are likely transgressing social norms in some way, and missing social cues about the flow of the interaction. I suggest seeking social skills training if you can find it in your area.