Juggernaut wrote:
It became such an identity for me. But I am far too emotionally and socially aware, and have always been empathetic as a child...I talked to a psychiatrist, and he said trauma for a sensitive person makes a lot more sense and can look a lot like autistic symptoms, since I shut down after experiencing abuse and trauma. I've realized the past year that the label just doesn't mean much any more...If I do have a touch of it, I also know that brains can change...it's called neuroplasticity. And at a certain point, a brain can change enough that the label just doesn't mean much anymore....
They diagnose you based on symptoms in childhood, then tell you it's a lifelong condition. But then what happens when the symptoms change as an adult? I have grown a lot over the years, and as much of a relief it was to find an identity in the label...I am relieved to finally let it go. I am who I am...whatever you want to call it.
For the record, the diagnoses I was given were Bipolar I, Tourettes, generalized and social anxiety, and PTSD, which explains a lot. So I am definitely not neurotypical - and I am OK with this.
I'm familiar with the concept of neuro-plasticity. I buy it .. to a degree. That the brain can change enough to where when you once had autism and then you don't? Hmm...My experience has been very different. I wasn't formally diagnosed with HFA until a little over a week ago and didn't even suspect it until maybe four weeks ago. A friend - who has a son with HFA - pointed it out. I started researching and things that I once viewed on their own and just wrote off as quirks or just things that were broken in me suddenly made sense in a larger context. As an example, sometimes peoples voices become too much ... too loud. I can't take it. I though my hearing was just sensitive. Florescent lights HURT. I just figured I was weird. Things like that. I'm an adult and those kinds of things haven't changed. Some have gotten worse. I am glad you have found peace with yourself, whatever the reason be.
23 Jul 2017, 12:21 pm
