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As good as place as any for an introduction. I found wrongplanet this morning in search of some beacon of hope, so this my come off a bit heavy for a hello world post.

i was diagnosed asperger/asd about 5 months ago, its been life changing in both positive self realisation and difficult confrontation. a lot of big decions have been made since, mainly leaving my job and moving back to my home town to be around family with my wife and 4yo daughter.

Though for the most part and for the future view of all things considered this has been a positive move i am finding more and more frequently im taking dives into a very alien disconnection from humanity and the futility of this condition is swallowing me in depression. I feel less and less able to make sense of non-verbal cues and emotional dialect, im losing all sense of when to talk, what to say, when to touch, its all becoming so abstract i can't make sense of my relationships anymore. im getting to points where i feel my absense would heal the world i leave behind. i know thats not true but the weight of this human experience yerns for release. i guess this is my cry for help for some kind of understanding.

this feeling is fleeting as are the great highs, i could be back to functional tommorow, who knows, but im here now and it hurts like hell.

its crushing my sense of who i am as a husband, as a father, as a friend, as a son, as a human.

how do we overcome such intangible, inexpressible paradigms? how to we change the fundamentally unchangable? is there a fundamental unchangable? if it can change, how in the hell do you make progress in a non persistent reality, where the conditions of any given day are determined by the roll of dice?

ive got too much to do in this life time to dissintigrate into nothingness. how do we escape the gravity of this lonely planet?

Welcome to Wrongplanet ! I hope you feel better and are able to realize that life is worth living, no matter how hard it is at times. I have OCD, and when I am going through an obsession I feel the same way. Like nothing matters anymore. The good thing is, I am able to get through those obsessions and bad feelings. Sure, it might lead to another bout of them, but I have hope that one day, they will be over and I'll feel great and like myself again. Don't give up. Not only will your family be devastated if you do, but I will also. Welcome; you've found the Right Planet .

Welcome to Wrong Planet!