When did you know your social skills are poor ?

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I didn't even wander round the playground: I stood at the same spot by the railings from 1965-68!! !

I knew it around 7th grade when I said something absolutely random and was picked on for it.(though I probably knew ahead of time but, it didn't really click till then.)

And I'm still poor with social skills. But, oh well at least I can still talk to people here! At the moment that's what matters!

I didn't. I never really gave it much thought. I had one friend who was the child of family friends throughout my childhood until he moved away, and then none until 12th grade. Then I had lots of "friends". I had got kicked out of my house and I was doing a lot of heavy drugs. That lasted into college and then I stopped doing drugs and have had few friends since. I'm usually alone. It wasn't until a neighbor told me she thought I was on the Spectrum which ultimately led to a diagnosis that I gave it any thought. I started to realize all this time it was me. I'm just sh***y at interacting with people. That was, what, a month ago? Buh.

Haha, I did quite a bit of the railing standing too, lol!

Thats actually a good question!

growing up i had really bad social skills but i didnt know it, i would bite people. i would insult people. sometimes id randomly leave interactions, and because of this i thought people didnt want to play or talk to me but it turns out I was the one messing the interactions up and i didnt even know it.

i became aware of how awkward i am in grade 8 when i was 13, because the bullying became intense and people started telling me to my face. my dad would sit me down and say " you need to make eye contact, smile, listen to people about what they want to talk about and for the LOVE OF GOD PLEASE DONT TALK ABOUT SONIC UNLESS THEY ASK! and only a couple of years later i got diagnosed.

I don't have enough time to answer this as much as I'd like as I'm about to go on holiday today. I always knew others thought I was wierd, but I never understood why. Around my teenage years it got even more evident that I did not fit and I got very upset over it.

I've found that the social difficulties are my strongest atistic trait, but often the least talked about and least information available. I'm thinking I might make an essay or a blog or something about it, I wonder if that might be helpful to others.

Since forever. I just didn't realise it was social skills until after hs, maybe i am just slow. Back before I knew, I legitimately hated every1. I was a very, very, bitter person, and this wasn't a case of "teenage angst".

__________

Around age 13 had a lot of "teenage angst". And it did not seem that any other teen felt that way. With several exceptions

And now that I am 34 still feel residual teen angst

It could be just anxiety or fear of social rejection

The second I understood what social skills were.

Probably I was first made aware of my flagging social skills around 16 - when I was inducted into a group of students by a girl who I still very much admire; an extrovert, budding singer and all-round amazing person. Her natural confidence eased things a little, but it was nonetheless then, surrounded by people of my own age group, I realised I had no idea what to say to them. It felt like I should know what to say to a friend, but it was beyond me what you actually do or say without sounding completely fake. The one benefit of this situation was that I gained a reputation for being a good listener, something I still try to use to my advantage today.

When questions like this are posted, does the OP read each one, & if so, what do you do with the info? People unload their personal issues & then what? Doesn't seem like anything happens that would help solve the problem.

I didn't develop offline social skills, because I wasn't interested. Some people thought I was being rejected & picked on, which led to my disinterest, but that's not true. I rejected 1st, & that is when I was picked on -- still happens to me as an adult. They see my disinterest in them & they decide to pick on me -- not everyone, just the adults that never developed maturity (which is a lot of people like that here in TN). I grew up mostly in FL, but don't know what it is like to live there as an adult. Have lived in TN most of my adult life. People are poorly educated, have a small town mentality (even though the population isn't that small), & most of the adults I've encountered act like teenagers. There is no incentive to interact with them.

Being alone & interacting with people online occasionally, has worked the best for me. Since I have very little experience interacting offline, I just don't have the tolerance or energy built up for those activities. It must work a part of my brain that is small, which causes fatigue -- similar to how when overweight people try to exercise, or when people try to learn a new skill, it is hard work & brains don't like to work hard. Nature prefers efficiency, so you have to have incentives in order stay motivated to work through that difficulty in learning new skills or losing weight or socializing when you don't have much experience.

I think it's more of an invitation to share our experiences and feel a sense of community.

Not all threads are created with the purpose of fixing problems. Sometimes we just want to discuss a subject and share our experiences and ideas.

In seventh grade i noticed the other girls were standing around in groups talking like adults at recess and i didn't know how to be that way. I was always by myself at school.
In high school a psychologist come to the school to talk to me but nothing came of that.

it might appear to NTs that AS's have poor social skills.

But maybe everyone is better at interacting with someone similar to them than someone different

And NT are in the majority

So NT are better at interacting with NT than AS is at interacting with NT

Big deal

Maybe AS is better at interacting with AS than NT is at interacting with AS

Saying that AS have bad social skills is like saying Prader Willi patients are gluttonous

It might appear that way to someone without Prader Willi syndrome, but that is a skewed biased perspective

All my life.

I would say what Hurtloam said is probably true for most threads here.

People know that, sometimes, actual "solutions" might not be possible. So they seek a "commonality" with someone else which could be quite soothing.