[Men thread] It's a trap...? It must be a trap.

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The_Face_of_Boo
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20 Aug 2017, 12:26 am

Chronos wrote:

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

So.... men, imagine that a hot looking woman showed interest in you on okcupid.

Describes herself as next door girl and introverted.

You exchange few messages.

And then she gives you her facebook!

While you're browsing her photos on her fb, you quickly realizes that she isn't really that much the "next door girl" you may imagine, at least not from what she looks like in photos, but she looks much more of a party lover (with tons of pictures with 'babe-type' of female friends), and all in the fanciest places locally typically attended by high class people and plus she's a world traveler too, she obviously looks like the type who never spends a Saturday night indoor. She seems to be really an opposite of you in every way.

Then she accepts your request, and asks you are planning for the weekend ...bla bla.

Then at 11:48 PM, she asks you mundane questions about how many siblings you have...bla bla.

Then soon after she tells you she's in XX [two abbreviation name of a place]with her sisters and friends, and asks you if you want to join. Wtf....

and you have no idea what this "XX" <_< place stands for too, Google didn't help much to figure anything, but most probably it's a known local night club that you're not aware of due to your typical aspie-related ignorance of such nightlife places; which makes you too afraid to ask her what and where the heck this XX is and sound like a total creepy fool living under a rock.

I mean yikes!!

Imagine you just met someone hot online, and after few hours of very limited exchange, then out of the blue, around midnight, she asks you to join her to a such nightlife social event, in a place that you probably never been there before, with the whole presence of her social circle!

What would your instinct feel about all the above if it happened to you?

[img]http://i.imgur.com/bfcelyY.png[/im]

Your brain is saying it's a trap and your heart is saying you might be lucky. Go with your your brain. It's the only one of the two that can think.

There's a third organ involved in this dilemma too.

Sabreclaw
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20 Aug 2017, 12:32 am

I don't understand, are you romantically interested in this person? Don't you have a girlfriend already?

And yeah, smells like a trap to me. Though I'm not the most trusting of people.

1Biggles1
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20 Aug 2017, 12:45 am

If the profile goes back some years then less likely a trap.. Also the only way of finding out such abbreviation is simple to ask her.. Not much more i can give on that,,, Cant assume everything is a trap but also cant assume it isnt... Just tread with caution and make sure it is a public place and not some back alley!

The_Face_of_Boo
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20 Aug 2017, 1:02 am

Sabreclaw wrote:

I don't understand, are you romantically interested in this person? Don't you have a girlfriend already?

And yeah, smells like a trap to me. Though I'm not the most trusting of people.

I have a fwb parner (I do call her gf sometimes) who allows me to keep seeking for a LT partner, she understands that time is against me since I am not getting younger; while she is a single mom, and she got enough of marriage in her life and doesn't want a LT or marriage anymore;
She even did tubal ligation surgery years ago (sterilization) because she no longer wants more kids.
So it's kinda of a weird one-sided open relationship arrangement.

She won't be staying in the country here for long too.

I did have a date with someone on friday; a half ivory-coast black/lebanese girl (but doesn't speak arabic), a smart girl- but this latter isn't interest in something committed too because she will leave on september for phd studies, so umm... no, one fwb is enough for me (but she's still contacting me... oh well).

The "trap" girl is local, and she states to be wanting a long term in her profile; she's obviously Christian (based on her full name) and very liberal but doesn't seem to care about what might be, never asked (which is unusual for those who seek LT in my experience, I am agnostic atheist but my lastname sounds Muslim).

The_Face_of_Boo
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20 Aug 2017, 1:37 am

1Biggles1 wrote:

It goes back to 2008 with tons of pics with friends in fancy places and interactive posts (I counted at least 7 countries she traveled to btw lol).
There's no way this profile is fake - it looks so genuine; the worst could be stolen but it's so unlikely.
I guess part of me is totally puzzled why someone like her even needs okcupid and why she would even interested in someone like me.
And her sudden invitation made me so anxious, not just because of safety, but also was anxious to end up in an awkward situation of her finding out not liking me and to be a disappointment for her in front of her friends (in my exp, girls only know whether they like you or not upon meeting you first time - the "chemistry" thing you know) in front of her friends, like for example being too uncool or too short for her (even tho it is revealed in my okc, but many don't read the heigh info).
So yeah, I prefer the firsr meer up to be 1 to 1 or with less people, like in public cafe for that reason.

jrjones9933
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20 Aug 2017, 11:07 am

Could they be staging a dating competition, with dates selected for mockery? It seems more plausible, given the likely legitimacy of the profile. I know that frat boys in the US sometimes hold parties where they try to invite the most socially awkward and least attractive women, in order to humiliate them publicly.

Strictly in terms of criminal liability, it poses less risk, but I can't compare the level of evil with kidnapping in any meaningful way.

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The_Face_of_Boo
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20 Aug 2017, 12:21 pm

^^ I thought this happens only in movies.

There's something else I didn't mention before that made me concerned, earlier during the okcupid messaging exchange....

I didn't disclose the AS in my profile nor to her in PMs - so she knows about autism, which is rare among people really, I wonder what she knows about it though.

Geekonychus
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21 Aug 2017, 9:52 am

jrjones9933 wrote:

That doesn't happen in real life. ^^^

I'm not sure what the trap is supposed to be. Is it possible she may actually be shy and wants to meet you in a more comfortable setting for her (in public around friends and other people she's comfortable with) rather than deal with the pressure of a traditional first date? Plenty of girls (in America at least) prefer to meet through hangout before they actually date a person. That being said, I can see why that would be awkward for you and why you wouldn't want the added pressure of meeting with her friends. If you are interested in this girl, i would do one of two things:

-Accept her invite the next time she invites you to a group hangout but insist on bringing a friend or two of your own along. Having people you know there should theoretically help take some pressure off of the hangout. At the very least you'll know someone there.

-or-

-Be honest about how you feel. Tell her you'd prefer a regular first date at a more relaxed location without the added pressure of meeting her friends. If that's a problem for her, then she's not worth bothering with in the first place.

Wolfram87
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21 Aug 2017, 10:05 am

I smell shenanigans; probably originally a real account that was hijacked and used to luring people into s**t (hence the going back a long time). I got a Tinder-match once that was a small-scale variant of the same thing, and the first message from "her" was "I'm super horny, follow this link mkay?"

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The_Face_of_Boo
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21 Aug 2017, 12:40 pm

Anyway, it seems she lost interest, I told her I slept early hence why I didn't notice her invitation (I saw it in my notification but I didn't open it).
We chatted a bit afterward.
Today I sent a follow up mundane message (asking her how was her beach time on sunday) that she read but choosed to ignore.

Oh well, maybe she did realize we are not compatible too - that's good.

TheSpectrum
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21 Aug 2017, 4:02 pm

Another humble brag / false appeal for advice thread?

Cmon, man... :roll:

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kraftiekortie
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21 Aug 2017, 4:07 pm

What would be the consequence if you happened to be "trapped?"

jrjones9933
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21 Aug 2017, 4:14 pm

Also plausible: someone corrected her understanding of the difference between introverted and extroverted.

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The_Face_of_Boo
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22 Aug 2017, 1:50 am

TheSpectrum wrote:

Another humble brag / false appeal for advice thread?

Cmon, man... :roll:

I've actually screwed it this time, so how is that bragging? I am sure a normal guy on a Saturday night would have taken the opportunity (maybe with his friends) instead of worrying about the risks and embarrassment.

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