I'm too weird to date

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Hi, all. I realized i'm just too weird to date.
I'm introverted, reserved, and I have a lot of interests, some of them are quite strange esp for a female.

I'm still friends with an ex. He was talking about people who have in door pools. Then I started talking about this serial killer with an alleged haunted house with an indoor pool Lol i know. He said,'You're a strange one."

He's gone on to other women. He's told me they are so thoughtful. He said his current squeeze was "such a great conversationalist." Oh, thanks. We've had arguments about him bringing up stuff like this.

He says im immature. He says im not a good housekeeper and not helpful. He acts like doing a few things will magically keep men around. Let's be honest, I will naturally weird men away once they get to know me. The only relationship i ever had that lasted was with an abusive man. He never really knew me and hence stayed with me.

I tried cooking for men. I tried having sex with them when they wanted. I tried 'being myself,' which definitely hasn't worked.

I'm 30. Most of my peers are married. Many have been married for a decade and with their spouse for longer than that.

Maybe i'm just too weird.

I like weird women.

And I'm sure there are lots of other men out there who do. Don't give up.

It doesn't sound to me like you're "weird". It just sounds to me like you're interesting.

Interestingness is the #1 quality for a woman, in my opinion.

Michael829

Some men like weird women with unique interests. Personally I think your aside about the serial killer is much more interesting a topic than indoor pools in general.

I'm more concerned about your ex claiming you're not helpful. What does he mean by that? Are you perhaps lazy, or did he just have unfair expectations of you?

Nomoretears,

I can relate to thinking I'm "weird." A lot of my true friends see me as a nice person, but casual observers would only see that "crazy cat lady" or "Oh, that crazy tennis fan." I love cats because I have had pets all my life and like my favorite players because they are nice people, are the best at what they do or came back from great odds to succeed. I tend to gravitate toward largely positive or inspirational themes, although I distrust scripted inspirational quotes from the same people over and over, usually in the political and entertainment spheres. Some feel-good stuff turns into feel-bad stuff if you think you are being lectured to or if you think that you can't be as good, flashy, and the like, as that person. I don't like today's relentlessly depressing fare passed off as entertainment, either. The best inspiration comes from people who have come through hard times and now live their lives in pursuit of excellence.

Don't give up. I'm sure if there are weird girls out there, there are also weird guys who are looking for them.

I wasnt the best gf, tbh. There are things i wouldve done differently.

I told him i wasnt experienced in relationships from the get go. I had issues with being single for years then all of a sudden being in a relationship.

He told me this after we broke up. When i would tey to do something (we were still hanging out), he said it didnt count bc he had to tell me.

My sister had a boyfriend like that, they don't think you're helpful and in their minds they probably don't think you will ever be!

It's good you left him, those kinds of people are not good mates. I don't think you're too weird to date, I understand the whole serial killer thing, sometimes it's just hard to come up with something to say!(unless serial killers are a special interest of yours.)

Weird is fun to me, if there were no weird people life would be boring! I think you just have to find a person that you are compatible with!

Hugs

Meh I would consider ending that 'friendship' with your ex.

If all he has to say about you is negative things, and making comments about how much better his current girlfriend is than you...he doesn't really sound like a very good friend, that seems kinda mean-hearted.

I felt like I could do nothing right with him.

Ive been interested in serial killers and crime off and on since childhood.
He broke up with me, and every guy broke up with me.

He finally quit after several arguments. He does have an issue where he thinks he's always right.

You guys are all assuming that weird women would automatically be attracted to weird guys: You are all wrong.

I am sure there were weid male accquaintance guys in the OP's life; there are always weird guys out there in every school, college...

But none were her choice, and the OP didn't even mention the possibility of dating one- it's just you guys who are suggesting that weird guys will like her and assuming that she may want one - (Based on her comment in the other thread, she doesn't find most guys sexy-looking except those who spend many hours in gym to work out).
All that should tell you something about the type of guys she likes.

Guys, stop with the silly wishful ideas. Please.

nomoretears: yes, talking about serial killers all the time is considered weird by most and frankly may even be scary - if you want a normal sexy boyfriend, you should pick better topics.
Stop talking about serial killers to them for instance, you know it's weird, so pick less weird random topics.

I was 35 when I started dating my husband. My sister was 39 when she started dating hers.

Both of us had accepted that we might never marry and had gotten comfortable enjoying our lives on our own, but without shutting ourselves off to the possibilities around us. My sister traveled the globe on her own for a year; I bought a house on my own and built a solid career.

I guess I'm weird in my own way, but my husband and I are a good match. Marriages are about two people who agree to accept each other's quirks and baggage and somehow make a unit that was stronger than either alone. It is a strange thing; it isn't for everyone.

One thing I realized when I started dating my husband was all the ways I had unconsciously avoided serious relationships. I had self-selected incompatible men or done stupid things to sabotage chances with men I really liked because, well, I guess I just wasn't ready. I needed to reach that point of enjoying my life on my own, of being happy with myself and my choices, without wondering when some other person would finally "complete" me.

I don't know where you are in your life's journey or what lies ahead for you, but I encourage you to stop wondering if a man is in your future and build yourself the best life you can. On your own, for you. While you are doing that stay open to the people around you and the possibilities, but don't force anything or worry about it. It is surprising what happens when you are just happy and strong.

I've seen some pretty unusual people meet their person, btw. There are all kinds among school parents. You just never know.

Last edited by DW_a_mom on 05 Sep 2017, 2:52 am, edited 1 time in total.

^^^ good post DW