New young female co-worker joined today.

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I think about the relationships I might have missed out on as well. I say just put those thoughts behind you. Whether you did or didn't miss chances wouldn't matter now, what matters now is what's going on right now!

You're right you know. If you let anxiety and shyness controll you, your chances nil. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. If you never venture forth from you comfort zone, you will end up alone.

As AquaineBay said, we've missed out on girls who were interested in us because we were blind to their signals. Women don't always need to be the initiator so why not send out some signals of your own?

I remember a family doctor asking me if I had been dating and I could only say no to her. My older brother, on the other hand, had a whole list of girls to give. It was like I was missing limbs while my older brother had just raced and won a marathon.

I am unhappy in other areas of my life as well. Despite playing the guitar for many years, I can't play most songs no matter how hard I try to learn them and I will probably never be able to perform guitar solos because they are punishingly difficult. I used to have artistic aspirations but my drawing ability is always underwhelming and I failed an art class in college.

I was in a similar situation once. I couldn't get female attention to save my life (remember my first date was at 28) yet my brother turned down women left and right. Fast forward just 5 years later and I am the happily married one and he is absolutely, almost suicidally depressed in his relationship. All the ladies that were into him have since gotten married and he feels like if (when) he gets divorced its over for him. Meanwhile when I last visited mom at the hospital her nurse asked if I was single and that she was interested in me.

My older brother's had a divorce and two cancelled marriages but he's now married to the woman from the second cancelled marriage. She used the children they had out of wedlock against him to finally ensnare him. They argue and fight constantly and he's very overwhelmed whenever I see him. He's even told me he wishes he could trade places with me and that is something he wouldn't have said seven years ago. Unfortunately, I am not in a relationship let alone married.

You're still better off than him. If I could choose the single life or being in his place, I'd choose bachelorhood every time.

Lordy. Seriously, he's right. His life doesn't sound all that fun. If you're going to compare yourself to him all the time anyway, you might as well figure this out, save yourself a crapton of misery.

There's no misery quite like having a baby with the wrong person.

He has three with his current wife and one from his ex. My younger brother has a baby with his fiancée. The year will end with me still just as single and disappointed as I was last year.

LOL....you should be glad you don't have to take care of kids!! !

It's really hard----especially when you want to go somewhere, and you have to get a babysitter....

When you want to have a family and kids but there isn't someone to settle down with, all the logical reasons why kids are are hard work and expensive, and being in a relationship is hard too, don't make any difference. If it's what you want most and you don't see yourself getting it then you feel like s**t.

I agree with that.

Sometimes, I feel like crap because I've never had any kids. I see people my age being grandfathers....

You are missing the point, kraftiekorie. I can wait until I am in a better life situation to have children. It's more that I don't have a wife or a long term partner that tears me up inside. I hate that I had to go through the year with only disappointments and the year will end in failure for me.

I do get you point. My previous post was in answer to the one which immediately preceded mine. She made a good point.

I think you spelled "fortunately" wrong.

Let me mention again that I was once a lot like you: I was so desperate for attention I jumped at the first person to show any sort of clear romantic interest in me and I was so desperate to not be a 30 year old virgin I formed a relationship with someone who, any way you slice it was a horrible match for me.

Sure I felt like a failure being the eternal single guy but I felt like EVEN MORE of a failure that I had such a loser girlfriend and that I stayed with her as long as I did, knowing full well her psychotic episodes were going to end up with one (or both of us) either in jail, hospital or a morgue. I still haven't forgiven myself for falling for someone who was very clearly messed up in the head and cannot even imagine what being married or god forbid having a child would have been like: I honestly believe it might have led to suicide. Imagine having to deal with a toddler day in day out and then finding out this same (25 year old) toddler was having a baby. On second thought that's not a fair comparison as most 2-3 year olds know far more about babies than my crazy ex did.

Remember when I turned 29 I had been on one pity date under my belt and that was it. I would have never imagined that just 5 years later I would be well established in a marriage and if not for a very cruel twist of fate, be raising two children as well. It would have been beyond my wildest imagination that could happen after the failures I experienced over and over in my late 20s.

If I could tell 29 year old GHF anything it would be to build self-confidence, be the kind of person you would be attracted to and the rest will almost magically fall into place and DON'T SETTLE FOR CRAZY!! !! I remember how crushing it was when women would reject me but by the end, when I had someone literally jump out of bed and run out the door, I laughed and told myself I was glad she showed me how nuts she was before I got into a relationship with her. Ditto to the one who went on a crazy rant based on twisting something out of context I texted her. They are doing you a huge favor by rejecting you!

He spelled it right; the sentence is missing a comma, though.

But I don't believe this will interfere with his pursuit of a lovely lady.

I have the opposite problem. I'm not sure if I want kids but most of the girls I date say they want kids!

You're right that being in a relationship is hard. I enjoy it but it cuts into my alone time.