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Km1993
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09 Nov 2017, 10:47 am

So I’ve been messaging back and forth with a guy that also has Aspergers. We’re both around the same age, I’m 24 he’s a year or two older, and we live fairly close to each other. He asked if I have a fb account which I said yes and asked him what social media he had and his username for them. He hasn’t responded back since then and I’m not sure if it’s me? Maybe I made him nervous. I didn’t know if I could get a male with Aspergers perspective on this. Maybe I’m just being impatient or assuming the worst case scenario. Any feedback would be appreciated!



kraftiekortie
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09 Nov 2017, 12:26 pm

It could be that he's shy.

If you really like this person, send him a message, perhaps asking him out for coffee or something.



Km1993
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09 Nov 2017, 12:56 pm

I messaged him my phone number last night, but he still hasn’t responded. I don’t want to message him again because I’m afraid I’ll scare him away. I’m feeling a little hopeless now.



kraftiekortie
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09 Nov 2017, 1:14 pm

Some people think that phone numbers are quite personal. Many people don't give out phone numbers to people they are only messaging---unless it's mutual.

You're right. You probably shouldn't message him until he messages or calls you.

I don't sense that you are the problem; I sense his shyness might be more the problem.

I hope he messages or calls you.



Km1993
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09 Nov 2017, 4:18 pm

Thank you for your insight. I’m hoping he’ll text me.



TheSpectrum
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09 Nov 2017, 6:38 pm

Km1993 wrote:
I messaged him my phone number last night, but he still hasn’t responded. I don’t want to message him again because I’m afraid I’ll scare him away. I’m feeling a little hopeless now.

There might be things going on in his life that is going to impact on his dating such as a heavy pre-Xmas workload, family matter, or financial troubles.

I say this because a girl gave me her number last weekend and I really want to hang out but I haven't messaged her or called because I have no idea how I'm going to explain that I can't even buy her (let alone myself) a drink or meal.

He could also be shy about meeting and initiating. Has he said anything about his personal life that would indicate there might be something up, or does he generally go quiet at any point?


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Km1993
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09 Nov 2017, 6:54 pm

He ended up responding back to me. I think he’s shy and doesn’t really know what to say, but I’m not sure how to get him to feel comfortable opening up to me. I want to get to know him better, but I feel like I’m the one asking all the questions.



kraftiekortie
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09 Nov 2017, 8:52 pm

This sort of thing happens pretty often with Aspie/autistic guys.....and girls, too.