Would you tell anyone you'd developed terminal cancer, if..?

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Would you tell anyone you'd developed high grade/terminal cancer, if you didn't want to live anyway?
Yes 47%  47%  [ 8 ]
No 53%  53%  [ 9 ]
Total votes : 17

MorningSue
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14 Nov 2017, 9:43 am

I'll keep it hypothetical, despite concern and urging for diagnostics etc. by the GP, there is no diagnosis yet to speak of. I'm just desperately curious to know what others might do...

If you had no one that you felt you could trust: no one in your family; you don't have any friends, save for your elderly dog; whilst you work full time (and get along with everyone there), you don't 'get personal' with anyone at work.
If you're Aspie, but have a long history of misdiagnosed mental illnesses and have previously (albeit temporarily) been stripped of your decision-making rights under the law because of them, at the hands of your ignorant family and doctors.
If your life to this point has made you realise that there is little to no reason to live anyway and you know that anyone you tell will pressure/compel you by force to undergo treatment that you genuinely don't want.

If, despite these things, you don't really want to die alone or to hurt anyone that you might still care about, and long for just one person that could really understand and maybe even support you...



BTDT
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14 Nov 2017, 9:49 am

https://www.cancer.org/treatment/unders ... tment.html

http://www.foxnews.com/health/2016/04/1 ... found.html
In Connecticut, a 17 year old can be forced to under go cancer treatment. She can decide for herself when she turns 18.

Insurance companies and Medicaid will usually pay for hospice care if you refuse treatment and are diagnosed as terminal with less than six months. Hospice care is much cheaper than most cancer treatment options.



IgA
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14 Nov 2017, 11:00 am

I don't have any family -- have people I'm related to, but I don't allow them in my life -- & no friends in my area. Do have a few online friendly acquaintances, but they wouldn't come looking for me if long periods of time went by without hearing from me. So, no I wouldn't tell anyone if I were to ever be diagnosed with a terminal illness. There would be no need. I prefer to die alone, even though I very much empathize with any living creature (human or non-human) if they are suffering in anyway & would sit with them & try to help them be comfortable. I did that with a few baby birds when their parents abandoned the nest. I was so sick over how they were crying alone in the nest starving. 1 died & the other I took care of for 11 days but it had a seizure & died also. I gave it a warm place to sleep & feed it earthworms. I think it was happy & felt safe with me. However, if I were the one who was sick, I wouldn't want to be mothered, simply because I would feel too guilty taking up someone's time -- I'd know they didn't really care about me. No one ever has (not even my real mother). I would only want someone taking care of me that actually loved me -- that won't ever happen. I wouldn't believe them if they said they did. This likely won't help you, but this is my truth.



kraftiekortie
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14 Nov 2017, 12:19 pm

I’d tell my family and people I’m close with.

This is not something I want to think about.



Joe90
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14 Nov 2017, 3:49 pm

Yes, I would. I couldn't just bottle up my thoughts and feelings, even if I wanted to die, the thought of dying a horrible long painful death is still frightening. I would never suffer alone.


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ASPartOfMe
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14 Nov 2017, 4:08 pm

My cancer was not terminal but I was transparent about it on my Facebook page.


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bunnyb
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14 Nov 2017, 7:02 pm

I had an ultrasound done on my gall bladder a year ago. They found something not quite right with my gall bladder but everything else was OK. I was told I had to have another ultrasound a few months later. When they did that one, they found something wrong in my liver and said I had to go back and have another ultrasound done in few months. My GP said it's probably fatty liver but I know enough about medicine to know that fatty liver does not happen in 3 months. He was just trying to make it sound innocuous. I haven't gone back. Whatever is in my liver is adjacent to the portal artery. My Mother had liver cancer. It was adjacent to the portal artery so surgery was not an option. Chemo failed and just made her last year totally miserable. I would never agree to chemo after seeing what it did to her, so I am just going to ignore whatever is happening in my liver. If it's cancer it would be inoperable and I wouldn't agree to chemo so knowing would make no difference. If I become unbearably ill, I will just exit at the time and place of my choosing. But that's just me and my choice should not influence anyone else. It's very much a personal decision.


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soloha
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14 Nov 2017, 8:12 pm

I wouldn't tell anyone if I had cancer regardless if I wanted to live or die. I don't like people worrying over me and I wouldn't want the attention.

I had surgery recently and I didn't tell anyone. I took a cab to and from the hospital alone.

People found out later and were angry that I did not share such a significant life event.

If you have people in your life that care about you if you don't tell them you'll probably hurt them.

But you shouldn't make decisions exclusively around other people.

It's a tough choice. I hope it's one you don't have to make.



MorningSue
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15 Nov 2017, 1:20 am

Thank you so much for sharing and for your honesty, all of you xx

My apologies for such a downer of a topic. I've been sitting on this for months and losing a lot of sleep, while it's slowly gotten worse. I haven't discussed any of it with anyone around me, partly because I don't entirely trust myself either.
Reading your replies has given me a little more confidence to move ahead and make some basic decisions as they come, knowing there is no 'one size fits all' answer...

XxXx