KagamineLen wrote:
Maybe I should try to become addicted to something healthy, like literature or mountain hiking or serenity.
Literature is a balm, and a doorway to the connections few of us find in the "real" world. Maybe this would help?
I'll also say a good walk is great for unwinding. Then to come home, rested, put on music and lie on the couch with a book? That is Heaven. Just add coffee.
I don't know if my problem was as great as yours, but I used to go through a couple bottles a week after graduating college, starting work, and going through a bad breakup. I didn't understand then, but looking back I can see that all these changes in routine and the consequent sensory overload drove me to drink, since I didn't know what was happening to me. I was trying too hard to create and regulate happiness, with booze. I could feel this running it's course, and once I finally quit, it was walking and jogging which really helped. That and a deep desire to return to childhood optimism and joy. Do you have a rails to trails system near your home? I find those ideal for going out and letting my mind wander, while getting necessary physical exercise.
I wish you resolution.