No attraction at all to men or women.
Yeah, there's a real disconnect sometimes. You'd think that girls would be less sex-centric, but it's much the same for me, except that females tend to focus more on their own sex-appeal than their impression of men. And heaven forbid you tell people about it. Even if they're not phobic about deviant sexualities, there's this misconception that asexuals consider themselves superior, or "above" animal instinct. People can be defensive to the point of aggression sometimes, just based on that. Others will take a more complimentary view and see it as a sign of being an intellectual. Personally, I can't wait until I'm in my thirties. I expect that my peers' sex drives will have toned down by then, or at least I hope that will be the case.
_________________
I have not the kind affections of a pigeon. - Ralph Waldo Emerson
billegge
Snowy Owl
Joined: 12 Sep 2017
Age: 54
Gender: Male
Posts: 147
Location: Lat: 27.889636 Long: -82.665982
I went through something similar, not feeling any sexual attraction and not having a clue why guys were looking at girls. The only time I really felt sexual attraction is with my wife or in the past a girlfriend. This changed however as I grew older. Now I look at porn, but honestly, the porn girl has to look similar to my wife for me to be interested.
If I look at a girl I might think, wow she is hot, and assume this is sexual attraction but if I try to imagine sex with them I feel nothing. So I conclude that I am simply admiring a sexual quality. Sex or sexual things do not seem to represent the physical things - sex is not about anatomy, its something on a philosophical level. Ayn Rand said sex was a celebration of life.
billegge
Snowy Owl
Joined: 12 Sep 2017
Age: 54
Gender: Male
Posts: 147
Location: Lat: 27.889636 Long: -82.665982
I think the 30's for women is their max sexual drive. It seems that late 40's is when it declines.
Seriously? I always thought it was all downhill once puberty was done with you...
_________________
I have not the kind affections of a pigeon. - Ralph Waldo Emerson
My parents have always been like that. They know im not the most sociable person and that I have bad anxiety issues and they still always mock me for not going out drinking and stuff like every one else my age. I have been to a nightclub drunk maybe 3 times with friends and had a good night but still not my thing. Recently they keep saying I should go partying in Ibiza wich sounds like hell to me. I wouldn't even make it out of the airport and they know this. They Always say "when I was your age" I was doing this and that. And I think piss off I'm not you. I'd rather be different anyway
GoSensGo
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Joined: 31 Oct 2017
Age: 37
Gender: Male
Posts: 70
Location: Newfoundland
I think I might be demisexual then. I haven't heard of it until it was mentioned on here. I do think there's a possibility that if I was with someone for a good amount of time, say 5 months as an example and this person understood me, understood my shutdowns and eccentric behavior and didn't judge me then i think I may well develop sexual feelings towards them if I thought they felt the same.
Its extremely difficult to form a connection with someone when you feel misunderstood, and have to mask your behavior and act normal, just like my last relationship
You do sound like me. It has caused issues in the past. I was in a nightclub once, not the usual place for an aspie I know but I was too drunk to care and had friends with me and a pretty woman started dancing sexually right in front of me, touching me, trying to get with me I think and my friends were cheering me on saying how hot it was and how turned on they would be if they were in my position and I sort of ignored her as it really didn't turn me on at all, It had no affect on me. She got bored and walked off and wouldn't talk to me. Got some odd looks of my friends too. I see things every day my friends always comment on like how hot it is that that woman's boobs are showing out her bra and how her ass moves and all I see is a woman. I don't notice these things
Hey, the same thing happened to me.
Don't feel wierd, it's ok, you're an Asexual Aspie.
Welcome to the club my friend.
_________________
AQ: 42
EQ-60: 3
Aspie: 147
NT: 54
RAADS-R: 186
Its extremely difficult to form a connection with someone when you feel misunderstood, and have to mask your behavior and act normal, just like my last relationship
That'll happen. If you're patient.
I've been in my current relationship for 13 years. Luckily, my partner is not sexually charged at all, and is pretty much asexual also. She's also into the same things as me, and understands how my thought processes work.
We just get on well. There's obviously some compromise on both sides, just as in any relationship, but no pressure on either of us to be anything other than ourselves, and it seems to work great.
_________________
AQ: 42
EQ-60: 3
Aspie: 147
NT: 54
RAADS-R: 186
MakaylaTheAspie
Veteran
Joined: 21 Jun 2011
Age: 27
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 14,565
Location: O'er the land of the so-called free and the home of the self-proclaimed brave. (Oregon)
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