Custody Hearing Tomorrow - How do I look as NT as possible?

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They said the rights should be increased, but that building it up too quickly would traumatize my son. Well what do they call taking him away as quickly as they did and keeping me out of his life for half his life?!?!?!?!?!?!?

Does that mean they're increasing the rights substantially?

They're promising that, but they are also hoping I'll screw up, so they can cut them back. This time last year, we had 6 hours a week, unsupervised. Now, it's 2 hours every 2 weeks, supervised. When all I did was confront my ex over the cut on the back on our son's head, and how it really got there.

And I'm the crazy one.

I can do nothing but cry for you. To have the family torn apart. Western Europe, the paradise on earth :/
I'd better not tell anything more or it would turn into quite a lot of blasphemy.

I think whatever country you go to, most people are nice, but the nasty ones end up being the ones with power. And those people usually label people like us as having a disorder just because we see through their BS.

Oh no! How awful for the two of you. I can understand your anger especially at their hypocrisy. What total bastards but now you need to start working toward the future. Have you talked to your lawyer about what you need to show at the next hearing in order to get a better outcome?
You can do this. I'm absolutely sure of it. Don't let them shatter you. That is what they want. The way to beat them is to get yourself together and succeed. Prove beyond all doubt that they are wrong. If you can, and I hope you can, direct all the anger into energy to get the studio working again. Money helps, it really does. Make the studio a success and secure your future for you and your son. Big (((cyber hugs)))

Speaking briefly, truthfully and calmly is best. If your lawyer knows about your autism, he or she will likely want to practice probable questions and possible answers. Most important of all, speaking quickly to fit all your opinions and facts into one long answer doesn't help ... it confuses your listeners. Stay calm as best you can, and understand that it is normal for people to pause in between sentences and even in the middle of sentences. Remember, you are your own best advocate, and you are telling a true story to others who might not have heard you before. They want to hear you describe your life.

Good luck!

A huge, huge obstacle I have to get past is I feel like the biggest hypocrite. I'm a yoga instructor whose child was taken away and who lately regularly has meltdowns in public. Most people don't bother to try to understand, they just judge me for being emotional, and my professional reputation has taken such a huge hit that I'm not sure if it can recover from.

Anyway, I'll talk to my lawyer tomorrow, but it looks like we have to trust them to build up contact at a decent and fair pace, otherwise in a few months if it hasn't changed much then we take them back to court. Meanwhile, we take my ex to divorce court, and hit his ass hard to recover the money he cost my business.

I can never use too many hugs, thank you.

I think the courts automatically decide to keep the child wherever they currently sleep.

I have a sneaky and manipulative idea for you for next time. Somehow, have your son spend the night with you more and more. Do this by playing on your ex's need for things to be easier. First build up to it by agreeing with your ex to pick your son up from school if that makes things easier for your ex. Make more and more agreements with your Ex to take care of your son - and play on his vulnerability to want things to be easier. Then one day say something like, "Since you have to leave for work early, why doesnt 'Johnny' just spend the night with me and I will take him to school in the morning". A problem might happen that 'Johnny' feels homesick, so give him is own bedroom with toys and make it like home so he feels at home when he is with you and not visiting. The whole thing is a sneaky transition but is fair, "All is fair in love and war". When you go to court you can say Johnny has a bed, his own room, and how you have been taking care of him more than your ex and that Johnny belongs with you.

I'm afraid for now, he hasn't spent the night with me in 18 months, and my ex does whatever he's told, it will probably be a long time before the social worker allows us an overnight. But, once the social workers are out of our lives and we're at 50-50, I could easily use that to get full custody, if I need to that is.

What about the other things like shared parental duties? Maybe taking him to school or picking him up? It would be an agreement of course between you and your ex, but otherwise is the court/social worker preventing you from contact?

Yes they are. I'm only allowed 2 hours every 2 weeks, supervised, because they're concerned about my moods, while staying totally ignorant to what really causes those moods, my son and I being abused and the law doing f**k all to stop it, actually giving people a free pass to continue this abuse, but if I protest, I'm the b***h. That's what this hearing was about, getting more contact, and we failed.

I wont ask what the abuse was, but if it is happening by your ex then there must be a way to expose it.

This thread says more, it's way too triggering for me to type out again. I've been spending the last year and a half trying to expose it, and no one believes me, which is also why I haven't been able to stop hitting myself for the last year and a half.

viewtopic.php?t=356741

Thank you, I read through it. It seems surreal.

I keep thinking of this movie after reading:

Changeling
https://www.netflix.com/title/70100378

Its about a corrupt police force that puts women in the "crazy place" when they cross the police. They keep treating this one lady crazy, but she is not crazy. The more she fights them the crazier she is made out to be. She wins in the end.