Describing autism is making me doubt myself

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I was diagnosed last year. I am very near the spectrum limit but there isn’t any doubt I’m autistic.

However I cannot explain it for the life of me. Whenever I try people normally say that they are also like that...or this happens to everyone. It’s making me doubt myself very much.

No-one?

I think people like to relate to other people. They find it a way to (1) understand the thing the other person is describing and (2) a way to let the other person know they are not alone. So chances are people are saying this and linking it to their own behaviour to make you feel like you are just like them or try to make you feel like the way your autism presents is not far from how they feel and act.

In terms of your own doubt. I think at the high functioning end of the spectrum there are plenty of people that will go through most, if not all, of their lives never really knowing. If life is easy on those people and they live in the right circumstances they might never really need to figure it out. Having figured it out and having got your diagnosis is another valuable piece of self knowledge. It doesn't change who you are but I think it might change very much how you view yourself and what you understand of yourself. It was only last year though....I would assume settling into real awareness of this new knowledge might take some time.

i was diagnosed at 14. it was a screening that was insisted by a psychologist after i got arrested. they suggested Aspergers and i was sent to a specialist and he said i was very "typically aspergers" almost hit every cliche for most girls like Diagnosed at puberty, obsessions with animals, misdiagnosis of bipolar, messy hair and clothes. ect, (i of course hit the bill for actual symptoms as well) the diagnoses REALLY felt spot on for me. even looking back at my early childhood, i would have a lot of meltdowns, inappropriate stims, i disliked airplanes A LOT and would cry inconsolibly for a long time if one would pass by; plugging my ears. |

but sometimes i get that feeling you do. a little bit of doubt. usually when some people say "you dont seem autistic" but i dont really let the doubt get to me too much.

i think the feeling of Doubt comes from a common problem amongst autistic people; difficulty with self awareness. apparently i do some cooky things out in public, like spinning in circles every now and then, staring at nothing, wearing a sonic hoodie complete with quills. i wasnt aware these things made me stand out but people im with usually point it out.

i relate to what you said though, but i realize even if i were to erase the label it wouldnt change the major problems in my life.
i would still be very socially awkward, sensory sensitive and overall just "behind" everyone else. im just stuck being a weirdo and a goof. Diagnoses or no, it doesnt change anything.

I found that when I explain the way I am to people, they often relate to it. The "everyone's a little autistic" is BS, but it is true that most people do have a few of the traits that is standard for autistics. People relate to the parts where they are similar, and don't pay much attention to the rest.
For example, my mother in law, ever since we started talking about autism, she's started to believe that she might be "a little autistic" too. Because of things like disliking small-talk and being somewhat anti-social. But that is not an unusual trait in NT's. She ignores that she is very good at reading body language, don't have any obsessive interests, no sensory issues, etc..

I also feel like I have a difficult time accurately describing Asperger's. And still have some doubt, and possibly some guilt.
I get really carried away trying to describe it, and tend to get stuck on one aspect at a time. Maybe any one of my descriptions of any particular aspect of it could be accurate and understandable, but even then it's just one thing at one time. (But I think I've also heard that focusing on details without necessarily seeing the whole picture is kind of an aspie characteristic, I don't know about anyone else but I do quite a lot of that sometimes.)
It's helped me to be here, and occasionally stumble across someone else's statement using almost the same words to describe something I've never heard anyone else talk about before.
It helps to have a piece of paper now that says this is real, although it's still really confusing and I still question it.
As far as other people's reactions, the "oh everybody's a little bit like that", or "it's just a different way of thinking", or "I think we're all a little autistic".
Honestly I think that's where I really see the difference, and can begin to grasp how different it is for me compared to others.

I do this all the freakin' time! Not only when trying to explain Autism, but that's definitely one of those subjects where I get really carried away on one particular detail.

Something that I think has helped me to explain it better to people, is to talk to a NT friend about how different our brains work. Before the diagnosis we didn't think about that at all, but now it's all we talk about because it's very fascinating to both of us. Sorting all that out with them, has probably given me a better idea of what the specific differences are, which in turn makes it easier to explain it to others.
I still get stuck on details though.

I feel that I'm put on the spot every time someone asks me to describe what it's like to be autistic. I find it hard to put into words. I wonder if they ask me that question to compare me to someone in their family.

You have to simplify it and make it a short answer. I'd suggest something like:

My brain receives too much sensory information, unlike yours. My brain can't interpret that sensory information, so it shuts down important functions in my brain. This means I need to use the analytical side of my brain to socialize, and do pretty much everything else. I hope that makes sense. Would you like a crumpet (for this last line you'd need to carry a large supply of crumpets with you)?

I get it with the ADHD part. People say that ADHD symptoms are just common personality traits, and people say "anyone can be inattentive and hyper". That may be true, but there is a line between hyperness and inattentiveness being part of a person, and hyperness and inattentiveness being a disorder that interferes with your daily life and causes stress and anxiety and even a slight learning disability.

There are also people who tell me that it's normal what I experience. They also tell me of a severely autistic child, telling me that I'm not like that. There are some people who say that they would have never have guessed and that I don't look autistic.