How would you compare your childhood self to who you are now

Post Reply New Topic

How would you rate yourself? (Arrgh I can't put a question mark at the end of my question AARGGH)
-
I can say that I was kind of incredibly awkward, acting like a toddler, throwing tantrums and making people look at things they didn't wanna look at, or even raising my hand and saying 'Ooh, ooh, pick me, pick me, PICK MEEEEEEEEEEEE!' up until, like, 13 or 14.
At my old special ed school (Stepping Stones), there were these programs meant for younger kids, such as being the line leader and stuff. I just wanted SO badly to be the line leader. But that was then, and this is now.
Today I can say I have grown into a 17-year-old with... the mentality of someone between the ages of 12 and 15, varying in different areas. I am self-aware of my autism, and many times I can't stand certain parts of it: my speech impediment where I talk funny and have difficulty getting the right words out, mispronouncing the beginning syllable and having to start over, looking like an idiot socially.
I can say that I have grown a lot mentally and emotionally, and even socially, as a person, but I am not as far as I would like. In fact, I think I can say I may be regressing, because I haven't socialized or done anything in so long, mainly spending my time dulling my mind with kids' TV, Google+, and regular, more mature programming (for ages 13 and up).

When I was 3-7 years old, I was almost always being loud, carefree, hyper and silly most of the time. Even though I did talk to other kids, I didn't have actual conversations because I was just saying stuff without staying on topic. I used to stim and talk to myself in school too. I raised my hand in school a lot. I stopped doing this by 1st grade. I also liked to collect random things on the playground and call it treasure. I talked to strangers sometimes. When I was 8-12, I became more isolated at school because the other kids would bully me and say that they didn't like me. I became a little more quiet to avoid bullying. But I wasn't shy yet. I talked a bit less but I was still able to talk to others without getting all embarrassed and nervous. I was able to give presentations without anxiety. I actually wanted to be in a spelling bee in 5th grade. I was just a bit more introverted but not shy. This was the childhood me.

Now that I'm in my late teens, I'm more of a shy, quiet, reserved and socially anxious. I start blushing when someone compliments me or puts me on the spot. I don't talk to that many people. I almost always wear hoodies to cover up. I have poor eye contact and look down at the ground most of the time. I fidget with my fingers a lot. I fear rejection and humiliation. I clam up when talking to authority figures and in class if I get an answer wrong. I still raise my hand though. I speak in a quiet voice outside of home. I stutter and get nervous on the phone. I get anxious giving presentations in class but I'm working on that. I'm getting a little better. I'm also very gentle and kind.

I am self-aware now which use to be a problem for me like for example, it wasn't until I turn 18 that I finally realized I never had real friends and never kissed a girl. I am also slowly becoming more open to speak to people and I am becoming even more motivated to finally chase my dream of making music.

No, I'm better than my childhood self by far.

Though I did always feel like I was kind of unique, different from the rest of the crowd as a kid, I didn’t realize that I was different on a neurological level. Overall, I would say I was more awkward, wasn’t as reserved about my interests, and spoke up more often in class as a kid.

I have never changed as a person since I was 6. Sure I pee my pants sometimes, so what? I call my brother a stinky doodoo brain, nothing wrong with that. I'm half dragon, so don't mess with me .

I still don't know where babies come from, pls help.