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Sweetleaf
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Joined: 6 Jan 2011
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 34,439
Location: Somewhere in Colorado

10 Aug 2018, 1:32 am

So for the second day I have seen the same person in the smoking area, and I didn't say anything. Just not sure what to say, but its going to get akward if I keep going out there smoking a cigarette and just going back in without saying anything when I have seen her two days in a row. I mean she does not say anything either but maybe she is even more socially awkward than me and has more trouble talking to a new person. Anyways just not sure what to do, should I say hi next time and try and start a conversation? Or just say hello and see if she has anything to talk about...I just feel rude going out and not saying anything when I have seen her multiple times now. I mean she is older than me but she could have more issues than me...So I am thinking next time I see her I should say hello and just see if she has anything to say. I am just so akward with people, I don't want to bother her...but if I keep coming out and not saying anything I worry she might think I have an issue with her. I am working at a place that helps people with mental problems and things so I don't want to inadvertently make someone feel unwelcome I am just bad at talking to people I don't know.

I mean at this place I think I could maybe even say that, like 'hey sorry I didn't say anything the last couple times, I'm just akward around people I haven't met before.' I mean maybe she has the same thing I have where its really hard to initiate an interaction with someone you don't know. Either way I would prefer to be friendly than akwardly go out and not say anything. I did notice when a familer person to her came up she said hello to them and was fairly friendly so its very likely she has a simular issue to me in that area. Like she had no problem talking to this person she already knew, but when I showed up to the smoking table she didn't know what to say or anything and same with me. So I mean maybe she is like me, but hard to know unless I actually talk to her I suppose. It occurs some people would find that rude, but I just figured maybe she struggles with it. So I did not find it rude when she talked to them and disregarded me, I mean I did not say anything to interact and then a person she knew came up, if anything I just felt maybe they have a simular issue to me in talking to people they don't know.

I am just bad at talking to people. But yeah for my specific issues I mean I have seen her like 4 times in the past couple days, so I can recognize her and that is kind of like knowing her so now I probably can go out and say hello...but at first when I had never seen her before there was no way I would have been able to go out and greet her, but now that I see she is doing work here and such and have seen her more than once in my mind that counts as knowing her at least enough to say hello. I just hope she did not take offence to the first few times I did not say anything, but I suppose that is why I was wondering if I should apologize for that bit or not. I guess I just want to show that shes valuable and not just someone who gets ignored at every smoke break, which I could have given the impression of by not talking, but as I said I just don't know what to say to people I don't know at all yet.


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BeaArthur
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12 Aug 2018, 3:14 pm

You are way overthinking this.

Since you are pretty sure she knows you have been out there at the same time as her, you kind of have to "explain" yourself if you want to start talking to her (or greeting her) now. So you could say "I saw you talking to that tall guy. Where do you two know each other from?" or something like that. No apology needed for previous times.

However, if you don't want to converse with her in future, don't say hello to her now. Since you both smoke in the same place at the same times, it could end up being MORE awkward, not less.


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