So I had a debate with a female acquaintance regarding dating; and it started by coincidence.
I showed her a woman's profile (who's very good looking) on my phone screen, because she was curious what kind of women I message on dating apps (long story) - she liked how she looks and what she wrote, so I sent her a first message .... she replied to it after like 20 minutes, so I sent her the next question, which is also something based on her profile and that acquaintance's advice.
During the evening outing, she kept asking me 'so did she reply yet?' and the answer was always no, she asked like for 10 times, at the end I was like "You have to be patient, a woman who looks like her probably receives tons of messages from other guys as well, maybe she won't reply anymore".
And she was like:
She: "It does matter! Numbers don't matter! What matters only is your confidence and if two click well! Even if she has 1000 other guys chatting her, that won't matter if you are "the one".
Me: Come on, how does that not matter? of course it does, if she has 1000 other options it means I have 1/1000 chance that she will pick me.
She: But nooo this is not how it works really! Confidence is the most attractive trait ever.
Me: How confidence is even relevant in that use case? we just exchanged only two texts.
She: Anyway any girl online receives tons of attention, that doesn't mean she's of high quality.
Me: Look...are you telling me that a very unattractive woman who gets 0 male attention in her daily life would have the same pickiness and standards as someone super attractive who gets tons of male attention everyday? You really think that the amount of options has no effect on that?
Come on ....of course numbers matter!
She: <kept denying with her soulmate narrative>.
She: Confidence means to believe that only you can be you, no one else can be you, and you are well educated and cultured.
Me: And so some of the 1000 may also be well educated and well cultured too. Some among them may even be better than me in every way.
Me: Let me give you an analogy, let's say you are lost in desert starving and you found 5 rotten apples in a box, ...of course you are gonna pick first the least rotten apple and eat it. Right?
She: right.
Me: Ok, now imagine you are a in supermarket, and you wanna buy an apple, of course you are gonna buy the most shiny apple out of the hundreds of apples on the shelf, right?
She: But people are not apples ....<soulmate narrative>.
<the whole evening passed and the online girl didn't reply yet>
So let's the fight begins!
Which school of thought you find the more logical one?