The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 41
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 32,890
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.
29 Jan 2024, 6:30 am
29 Jan 2024, 7:28 am
29 Jan 2024, 7:31 am
29 Jan 2024, 8:26 am
29 Jan 2024, 8:28 am
29 Jan 2024, 10:40 am
Nades wrote:
MaxE wrote:
One way in which the episodes produced in the US were better was that the producers seemed less beholden to the idea that autistics are the best match for other autistics.
They can often be a terrible match. Two really shy, socially unskilled and anxious people dating rarely cancels out, rather, they withdraw even further into themselves.
It's happens to me from time to time. I had to work so hard over the years to try and smooth off the sharp edges of my own anxiety (the best I can anyway) and dating an autistic who just cant or wont try and tone down their problems makes me withdraw too.
Totally understand this. One of the reasons I'm into the more extroverted athletic/cheerleader types is since I feel our personalities would complement each other so well
29 Jan 2024, 10:47 am
29 Jan 2024, 11:32 am
29 Jan 2024, 11:42 am
SportsGamer35728 wrote:
Nades wrote:
MaxE wrote:
One way in which the episodes produced in the US were better was that the producers seemed less beholden to the idea that autistics are the best match for other autistics.
They can often be a terrible match. Two really shy, socially unskilled and anxious people dating rarely cancels out, rather, they withdraw even further into themselves.
It's happens to me from time to time. I had to work so hard over the years to try and smooth off the sharp edges of my own anxiety (the best I can anyway) and dating an autistic who just cant or wont try and tone down their problems makes me withdraw too.
Totally understand this. One of the reasons I'm into the more extroverted athletic/cheerleader types is since I feel our personalities would complement each other so well
Controversial to say this, but the more socially experienced women, even the ones with very high "body counts" so to speak are fairly easy to get along with and if you're lucky, reach last base so I prefer them.
Chances are, if a woman is a social butterfly and loves hanging around with men, then they're going to be a lot more approachable towards men (even autistic men) than an introverted woman. I've had more luck with the cheerleader types than social introverts.
Easier to befriend, easier to talk to, easier to relax around, easier to have banter with.
29 Jan 2024, 12:55 pm
29 Jan 2024, 1:06 pm
29 Jan 2024, 1:12 pm
29 Jan 2024, 1:41 pm
Nades wrote:
SportsGamer35728 wrote:
Nades wrote:
MaxE wrote:
One way in which the episodes produced in the US were better was that the producers seemed less beholden to the idea that autistics are the best match for other autistics.
They can often be a terrible match. Two really shy, socially unskilled and anxious people dating rarely cancels out, rather, they withdraw even further into themselves.
It's happens to me from time to time. I had to work so hard over the years to try and smooth off the sharp edges of my own anxiety (the best I can anyway) and dating an autistic who just cant or wont try and tone down their problems makes me withdraw too.
Totally understand this. One of the reasons I'm into the more extroverted athletic/cheerleader types is since I feel our personalities would complement each other so well
Controversial to say this, but the more socially experienced women, even the ones with very high "body counts" so to speak are fairly easy to get along with and if you're lucky, reach last base so I prefer them.
Chances are, if a woman is a social butterfly and loves hanging around with men, then they're going to be a lot more approachable towards men (even autistic men) than an introverted woman. I've had more luck with the cheerleader types than social introverts.
Easier to befriend, easier to talk to, easier to relax around, easier to have banter with.
This very much reminds me of Tony Attwood's concept of "social secretaries" where the more extroverted NT partner plans most of the autistic partner's social outings.
The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 41
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 32,890
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.
29 Jan 2024, 2:40 pm
Nades wrote:
SportsGamer35728 wrote:
Nades wrote:
MaxE wrote:
One way in which the episodes produced in the US were better was that the producers seemed less beholden to the idea that autistics are the best match for other autistics.
They can often be a terrible match. Two really shy, socially unskilled and anxious people dating rarely cancels out, rather, they withdraw even further into themselves.
It's happens to me from time to time. I had to work so hard over the years to try and smooth off the sharp edges of my own anxiety (the best I can anyway) and dating an autistic who just cant or wont try and tone down their problems makes me withdraw too.
Totally understand this. One of the reasons I'm into the more extroverted athletic/cheerleader types is since I feel our personalities would complement each other so well
Controversial to say this, but the more socially experienced women, even the ones with very high "body counts" so to speak are fairly easy to get along with and if you're lucky, reach last base so I prefer them.
Chances are, if a woman is a social butterfly and loves hanging around with men, then they're going to be a lot more approachable towards men (even autistic men) than an introverted woman. I've had more luck with the cheerleader types than social introverts.
Easier to befriend, easier to talk to, easier to relax around, easier to have banter with.
That had been my experience too.
Case 1
Me: Hi
She: Hi
Me: How are you?
She: Good
Me: …Ok.
Case 2
Me: Hi
She: Hellooooo been a while eh? Come sit have a coffee with me. Let’s catch up!
Surely the case 2 is gonna win.
29 Jan 2024, 6:43 pm
30 Jan 2024, 11:28 am
^ I didn’t realize that all autistic guys thought the same. I’m surprised that any expressed interest in me then. All this talk about being outgoing and personable is making me think about my childhood role models. I was just a little girl with big dreams. 
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lFS-fWHTdA0
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2TAGtY1SsfU
Nades wrote:
Even 10 out of 10 cheerleaders offers better prospects than a shy introverts who don't want to change.
Should people want to change? I don’t think anyone should change themselves for other people (although working on difficulties related to shyness/social anxiety might be a healthy personal goal). IMO, it’s better to look for someone you’re compatible with and who likes you for you as you are. If someone doesn’t, it’s probably a good idea to keep looking.Nades wrote:
The easiest jump to last base I ever had happened in minutes with someone who was gorgeous and she spent the rest of the time talking about the best McDonalds burgers. She was great and I still bump into her. Got to keep her bra as a trophy too.
It doesn’t seem economically sound to leave one’s bra behind as a trophy. I’m not surprised that you two aren’t together. If she’s that careless with bras, who knows what she’d be like with other articles of clothing.Nades wrote:
If they have an approachable personality then they're just decent people, looks completely aside.
That’s not necessarily true. People can have an approachable personality but be horrible people overall. Similarly, a person who is shy and introverted can have a heart of gold, like a pineapple.
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