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Joe90
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21 Aug 2020, 5:24 pm

So yesterday me and a male colleague of mine who I'm good friends with, went into work outside our working hours to see the boss about something (we work evenings so we rarely get to see the boss otherwise). When I'm not at work I look different; I have lipstick on and have my hair down.
So today another worker said to me, "my mate saw you and [my colleague friend's name] here yesterday, he said it looked like you two were on a date, you with your lipstick on and nice clothes and everything". But his mate (the worker who was in yesterday) knew we were only coming in to see the boss.

OK, he said it in a jokey way, and I hope that is all it is. But I am still worried that people might start talking and that the joke might turn into gossip then into a rumour that me and my colleague friend are having a relationship or something. These sorts of things are known to start off with a harmless joke but can become Chinese whispers, until before you know it a whole rumour has gotten round that isn't even true. My colleague friend is married and I have a boyfriend, and we are both rather moral so we would never even dream of having an affair. We are just good friends.
But what if someone mistakes us for having been on a secret date before (or after) coming into work to see the boss?


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Jiheisho
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21 Aug 2020, 6:30 pm

It will pass. Just simply answer you dress up when going to the office to see management, but only if you are asked. I would not make a big deal out of it or raise the incident yourself. Gossip needs fuel and if nothing else is happening, nothing becomes of it.



Joe90
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22 Aug 2020, 9:28 am

I wasn't dressed up, it was just that the guy who said that has never seen me wearing anything other than my work uniform so to him I looked different. I do have a trendy fashion sense. And I always have my hair tied back when at work but when I'm not at work I have my hair down.

I'm not going to say anything or encourage a rumour to start but sometimes these things have a habit of getting around without your control. I just hope it doesn't and that it will just stay as a joke and go no further.


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FaithGlover85
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07 Sep 2020, 1:16 am

In my opinion it is very childish to spread rumors in the office. The main thing that employees in the office should do is work.



GunsAndRoses
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21 Sep 2020, 3:42 am

This is exactly the kind of thing that I would worry about myself. This kind of anxiety made my school years hell, as I was constantly worried about what kind of rumours people were spreading about me.

I guess the key is to try to distract oneself with other activities and not think too much about it? It if escalates, that seems like a workplace issue that should be dealt with somehow. People can't just do whatever they like, spreading untrue rumours in a workplace.



idntonkw
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21 Sep 2020, 4:16 am

Joe90 wrote:
I wasn't dressed up, it was just that the guy who said that has never seen me wearing anything other than my work uniform so to him I looked different. I do have a trendy fashion sense. And I always have my hair tied back when at work but when I'm not at work I have my hair down.

I'm not going to say anything or encourage a rumour to start but sometimes these things have a habit of getting around without your control. I just hope it doesn't and that it will just stay as a joke and go no further.


It does not sound that serious and may not be a rumor because the guy who saw you was the only one who made a comment.. it is common for people to sexualize the workplace, and some people make a habit of it.. and rumors are common at work and actually those who engage in gossip know more about the workplace as a result..