What do you guys think of the Star rankings?

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Bradleigh
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18 Nov 2020, 4:52 pm

uncommondenominator wrote:
I've seen / experienced similar themes in the trans community, "standards" to determine whether you're a "true" member. If you'll pardon the ironically appropriate crass euphemism, it's "penis measuring". It's their way "proving" that they're "the most" (whatever). It usually stems from internalized doubt - they've been questioned and doubted and disbelieved about who they are to such an extent, they feel compelled to "prove beyond all doubt" that they are absolutely 100% what they say they are. Typically they don't want other "less true" individuals associating with them, thus "watering down" the ideology of who they are.


Transmedicalists, the kind of trans people that a certain kind of dysphoria is required, probably only believe in binary gender, and love to make fun of trans people that do not match up to their gender. That is people like Blaire White.


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funeralxempire
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18 Nov 2020, 4:53 pm

They seem like they'd be very useful to someone who has exclusively homosexual attractions and is deeply insecure that their potential partners might leave them for someone of the opposite gender. Without that insecurity I'm not sure they'd be of much value.


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robotrecall
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18 Nov 2020, 8:00 pm

uncommondenominator wrote:
Bradleigh wrote:
starkid wrote:
No, that's not what it's about at all.

Damn it's annoying when people try to guess at s**t. If you want to understand it, go read something about it; don't just guess.


It is more like lesbian purity culture, right? I also have the feeling there is a bit of TERF culture around it, I bet that trans lesbians won't be seen as being able to fit in these.


I've seen / experienced similar themes in the trans community, "standards" to determine whether you're a "true" member. If you'll pardon the ironically appropriate crass euphemism, it's "penis measuring". It's their way "proving" that they're "the most" (whatever). It usually stems from internalized doubt - they've been questioned and doubted and disbelieved about who they are to such an extent, they feel compelled to "prove beyond all doubt" that they are absolutely 100% what they say they are. Typically they don't want other "less true" individuals associating with them, thus "watering down" the ideology of who they are.

I've even seen similar things happen within the autistic community, trying to validate who has REAL autism, and who merely has "slight" autism - and trying to keep the image "pure" so nobody thinks you're just one of those "fakers".

As far as "Gold Star" lesbian ideology, given that it seems to rely solely on avoidance of penis, it does tend to exclude transwomen, given that most transwomen have or have had a penis at some point in their lives.

I've seen the "true" Autism crap too as well. It's usually the toxic moms that have severe autistic children, and always complain how their child is a burden to them. I'm glad my mom isn't one of those moms; she loves both me and my twin sister a lot.



uncommondenominator
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19 Nov 2020, 12:10 am

Bradleigh wrote:
uncommondenominator wrote:
I've seen / experienced similar themes in the trans community, "standards" to determine whether you're a "true" member. If you'll pardon the ironically appropriate crass euphemism, it's "penis measuring". It's their way "proving" that they're "the most" (whatever). It usually stems from internalized doubt - they've been questioned and doubted and disbelieved about who they are to such an extent, they feel compelled to "prove beyond all doubt" that they are absolutely 100% what they say they are. Typically they don't want other "less true" individuals associating with them, thus "watering down" the ideology of who they are.


Transmedicalists, the kind of trans people that a certain kind of dysphoria is required, probably only believe in binary gender, and love to make fun of trans people that do not match up to their gender. That is people like Blaire White.


OMG exactly. Don't forget "always knew I was one", "HAVE to HATE your penis", "THE MOST girly", "MUST be on hormones", "not real unless you do EVERY surgery", "passing and stealth", and "so basically you're JUST a crossdresser". There's nothing wrong with knowing who you are and what you want, but when you start using yourself as the template of validation, you start enforcing your norms onto other people. If something you do, or don't do, or never have done, makes you feel more sure and secure in who you are and what you're doing, that's great. But that doesn't mean everyone else has to jump through those hoops too. I used to be friends with some people like that. They were never happy with the fact that the way I expressed myself directly conflicted with the way they thought they should be.


robotrecall wrote:
I've seen the "true" Autism crap too as well. It's usually the toxic moms that have severe autistic children, and always complain how their child is a burden to them. I'm glad my mom isn't one of those moms; she loves both me and my twin sister a lot.


I'm glad to hear your mom is supportive of you and your family. That's how family should be.

In addition to the poor-ME-my-KID-has-autism moms that are like that, there are also autistic individuals themselves that seem to compete with each other for how autistic they are, and therefore how bad they personally have it. "Oh, YOU just have Asperger's, *I* have *REAL* autism!" Who's parent was meaner, who got bullied more, who has the worse symptoms, who's life is more "unfair", who has a REAL diagnosis, "I have to autism 10 miles each way to school and back, in the snow, uphill, BOTH WAYS!", "Well I have to autism all of that too, but BAREFOOT!". Who's the more "qualified" autistic. And so on. "Measuring". It takes many forms.



Bradleigh
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19 Nov 2020, 1:24 am

We're touching a bit on the No True Scotsman fallacy, where people make definitions that people are not a true thing unless they fit a narrow definition or do something in particular.

In regards to the topic, I wonder if that is part of the way some people play it that someone is not a true lesbian unless they have never been with a man.


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uncommondenominator
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19 Nov 2020, 2:04 am

Bradleigh wrote:
In regards to the topic, I wonder if that is part of the way some people play it that someone is not a true lesbian unless they have never been with a man.


Like with most things, the reasons are likely as diverse as the individuals giving them. For some it's possibly an elitism / purity thing. For others it's possibly a validity / insecurity thing. It could be a reaction to having been gaslit about one's identity too often. Un-supportive parents. Dismissed identity. "It's just a phase". Some people might just feel better "knowing" that they are who they think and say they are, based on whatever arbitrary criteria they've come up with. Not much of a problem on it's own, but when it's used as tool for judgement or exclusion, it can be a bit questionable.



robotrecall
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19 Nov 2020, 2:29 pm

robotrecall wrote:
I've seen the "true" Autism crap too as well. It's usually the toxic moms that have severe autistic children, and always complain how their child is a burden to them. I'm glad my mom isn't one of those moms; she loves both me and my twin sister a lot.


I'm glad to hear your mom is supportive of you and your family. That's how family should be.

In addition to the poor-ME-my-KID-has-autism moms that are like that, there are also autistic individuals themselves that seem to compete with each other for how autistic they are, and therefore how bad they personally have it. "Oh, YOU just have Asperger's, *I* have *REAL* autism!" Who's parent was meaner, who got bullied more, who has the worse symptoms, who's life is more "unfair", who has a REAL diagnosis, "I have to autism 10 miles each way to school and back, in the snow, uphill, BOTH WAYS!", "Well I have to autism all of that too, but BAREFOOT!". Who's the more "qualified" autistic. And so on. "Measuring". It takes many forms.[/quote]
Thanks. My dad is also supportive of us two as well. Is your family the same way? Yeah it's the "pity me my child is autism" type of moms that are always like that. It gets really irritating, but there's nothing you can do about these types of people unfortunately.



uncommondenominator
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20 Nov 2020, 11:44 pm

robotrecall wrote:
Thanks. My dad is also supportive of us two as well. Is your family the same way?


Excellent. Both of my parents have been very supportive of me, as best they knew how. Not always the way I needed, but they listen and they try.



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23 Nov 2020, 12:17 am

uncommondenominator wrote:
robotrecall wrote:
Thanks. My dad is also supportive of us two as well. Is your family the same way?


Excellent. Both of my parents have been very supportive of me, as best they knew how. Not always the way I needed, but they listen and they try.

That's good that they are supportive and listen to you.