Which "social rule" do you detest the most?

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I came across the passage below on the Quora forum, and thought "how true is this..." about how popularity in the NT dominated world corresponds to truth somehow (sigh). Now THAT is a rule I think we could definitely live without!! ! And I can say that I've fallen victim to this more than once, including one time in uni/college in the '90s, pre-diagnosis, when others spread nasty rumours that I'd gotten really drunk at a party and puked on others one time, when no such thing ever happened, as I'd never gotten in a situation where I was too drunk to remember anything and I think I'd have ended up in a holding cell or hospital overnight if something like that ever happened. Trouble is, surprise surprise, the couple of people who spread the rumours had more "social currency" even though they were about as credible as your average politician...

Luckily, I never had anybody make extreme false claims like I was a pedo or something - I don't know how I'd react if someone did...
Well, that's the NT world for you

The Quora passage:
The “rule” I dislike the most about neurotypical socializing is that somebody can just say a lie about you, behind your back or to your face, and whether or not others “believe” the lie depends on the strength of your social currency with them and how they weigh your social value to them against the social value of the person telling the lie, instead of things like, oh, actual evidence and objective reality.

The neurotypical ability to be convinced of something based on feelings for the teller, rather than critical thinking and empirical evidence, is the bane of my autistic existence. It's extremely arbitrary, and usually ends badly, especially when it's a jury being convinced by a talented and charismatic attorney instead of by the actual evidence before the Court.

I don't like how a lot of people just listen to others in general without wanting any evidence.

Whenever I talk to someone about someone else, I take what they say with a grain of salt if I don't directly know the person we're talking about well and they don't have proof. If we talk about a particular subject, like vaccines, I ask for sources and evidence or find it myself later.

People find it rude if you do that because they think you're calling them stupid, but why should I just blindly listen to other people? I actually care about learning new things and treating other people with respect, so I'm going to ask for evidence.

The thing i hate is that image is everything.

Looking good it more important than being right.

That you have to be a social chit chat otherwise it means you don't like them.

Personally

I can like someone but still be quiet around them, it just means I don't have much to say or I am tired or I have a headache etc...it is not personal to them but they will inevitably personalise it anyway. DON'T ... I can adore you but still want alone time all the same.

Objectively

I am humanitarian by nature despite my frustration with personal relationships. I hate to see any living critter suffering but I don't always know how to help them regardless. I do know that present expectations and cultural belief systems are causing way to much pain...more than that which needs to exist.

From this point of view (the humanitarian one), it is ok to not be a social butterfly. Why should all humans be mega social and why does it mean they are disordered because they are not?

I know there are evolutionaly advantages but these are not alway a good thing.

NTs however won't let people accept themselves. They are far too judgemental, so much so they create the mental disturbance they keep trying to cure.

They decide what you should be (which is usually just like them), make you feel wrong for not being that (like them), push you through the mental health system (because you are not just like them) and label you as wrong (because you are not just like them).

I don't want to start a war against NTs as it is mostly the system as it stands that is the problem, they are doing what they have been taught. NTs are more easily assimilated into society because they will beleive what they are told by the so called authorities (media, education, society, peers and so on).

Be easy on them, they are gullible and they don't seem to be able to help it.

They like to look good..for them it is a social status thing

For me I just like stuff that is pretty but then I am also WOMAN as autistic as I may or may not be.

The whole mob mentality I hate, people who blindly follow just not to "rock the boat". I think of when I was bullied in school, when a few people joined in, who knew better and knew it was wrong. They did it just to look good in front of the ring leader.

Right, I'm sick of the conspiracy theories and biased new sources people post on social media. Someone got mad at me, for pointing out that, this particular news site was biased and had a reputation for publishing falsehoods. Don't even get me started on the whole " Vaccines cause Autism" nonsense.

There is someone at my work, who goes into these rants about politics. His eyes like glaze over and he goes into this trance spouting idiocy.

The idea that if you express your needs beyond the NT, non disabled ideal you're 'rude'.

Nah.

Some people just have more needs than others.

I think cos I grew up in a deaf family, we've always been used to it.

For us it's a hierarchy:
1 Is everyone out of pain
2 Are everyone's other accessibility needs met
3 Does everyone like it on a shallow level

With 1 being more important than 3.

That the worst your appearance is, the more people will stare at you, instead of just looking the other way. I know they stare at you to judge but if I don't like the look of someone I'll never see again, I just look away. I prefer looking at attractive people (well, I don't even do that because I don't like making people feel self-conscious).
Or if they do want to judge, they should judge in a way that isn't so obvious, like not looking at you but thinking "I don't like that person's appearance but at least is isn't me."

Due to my low budget I can only afford shampoo once a month so sometimes my hair can look a bit greasy, but not really greasy. It's just what you call a "bad hair day". I still make an effort though to brush it or tie it back in a bun if I think it looks too greasy.

Like Earthbound_Alien said, yes, once upon a time these rituals of just going along with the word of a socially component "leader" just because of their influence or charisma or whatever had some evolutionary advantage, which is now largely obsolete. Eastern religions like Buddhism, which somewhat ironically are prevalent in collectivist countries, have a tenet that you need to discover truths for yourself and always question something regardless of source. Which, not intending to sound evangelical, sounds more like something that Western NTs should take a lesson from.

Just a little story before I go: back in 1930s Germany, two guys called Hitler and Goebbels, who were very socially adept and influential told the masses that the Jews were the root cause of their suffering. It didn't matter that many Jews who were well-educated and could prove based on fact that this was not the case, could persuade the masses otherwise. Only the charismatic leader's word prevailed. And we all know what happened from there

...so yes, unfortunately, people in the 21st century are still rooted in the "us and them" tribal-hierarchical thinking, not questioning the veracity of the source but just going on their outward image as a strong social tribal leader, and are afraid of consequences from deviating from their in-group's established stance. It's a visceral existential construct that seems to be a lot more ingrained in neurotypicals than in ASD folks.

That someone is allowed to be as obnoxious as possible just because he or she has "personal issues" and might have a meltdown if reminded that their behavior is in violation of The Rules in some way.

The fact that kids are taught lying is not okay, and yet they're still expected to accept and be able to tell white lies after they grow up, as well as know when it's okay to tell them and when not. More than the idea of lying, I hate the fact that we're first taught that it's not okay to lie and then expected to learn by following other people's examples that it is indeed okay (okay = socially acceptable) to lie in certain situations when we grow up. Why couldn't we just be taught from the beginning when it's okay to lie and when not?

And yes, I find necessary for moral's sake to admit that while I detest "white lies", I use them sometimes myself. Makes dealing with society much easier and safer.

I can't get my head round that pet. Pondland sell shampoo for a pound. One of those bottles lasts me 3 months and I have long, thick hair. Are you using quarter of a bottle at a time?

My boyfriend uses it as well, and we don't have a Poundland near.
But I won't discuss this further as I don't want to derail this thread.

Doesn't he smoke? He's being really selfish wasting his money on cigarettes and using your shampoo and making you uncomfortable physically with greasy hair and making you feel bad having greasy hair on the bus. That's not society's fault. You need to speak up for yourself. Shampoo shouldn't be a luxury over fags.

Cheating cos I had one but this is up there...

"wearing sunglasses indoors makes you a poseur who wants to look cool"

Nah.

Never in my life have I seen this. Everyone knows this rule so everyone thinks it is uncool.

Someone with 'sunglasses' indoors is probably light sensitive and/or blind.

I mean honestly it's such a social faux pas that even if an adult doesn't have these issues and does it, they're probably autistic or something else that makes them struggle with undersanding how they come across socially.

And all because Andy Warhol was cool and light sensitive.

and proud.

I always found it frustrating how NTs tend to shun those who state that they're proud of being autistic. Apparently, being autistic and loving yourself for who you are is forbidden...